Just some advice please. Mum is very unsettled and unhappy in her care home but I cannot fault the care she is getting there and know it is the vascular/ mixed dementia she has that is progressing quite rapidly and causing her depression and anxiety. We are waiting for another MHA to decide on the best way forward for her and may be having to adjust her medication to help her feel more settled. I have thought about moving her to a different home but think this would just cause more confusion for her and be more detrimental to her mental health at her time of life at 90 years old and as I said previously the care she is getting is excellent.
However, back to what I am asking advice for. Mum keeps asking to be taken out for trips in the car as she says she never goes out and is bored staying in the care home all the time. We have taken her out a few times, but to say the least have not been very successful as she just keeps saying she does not want to go back to 'that place' again and gets very distressed that we end up cutting the trip short and taking her back under duress. The care home also do trips out on their bus and in the beginning she enjoyed these afternoons but recently has not and refuses to go saying that she only wants to go out with me. I would love to take her out for lunch or afternoon tea but am just so nervous that she may refuse to go back and I won't be able to manage on my own with her. Has anyone experienced this? I feel so guilty having to make excuses not to go out as she asks every visit to go out. Her mobility is very poor too so we have to take the wheelchair with us which is another bug bear for her. I hate to see her so unhappy but as I said don't want to have any episodes outside of her refusing to go back. I suppose the obvious answer is not to go out until her anxieties and depression can be controlled but feel so guilty that I cannot do as she asks especially with this lovely weather we have been having recently.
However, back to what I am asking advice for. Mum keeps asking to be taken out for trips in the car as she says she never goes out and is bored staying in the care home all the time. We have taken her out a few times, but to say the least have not been very successful as she just keeps saying she does not want to go back to 'that place' again and gets very distressed that we end up cutting the trip short and taking her back under duress. The care home also do trips out on their bus and in the beginning she enjoyed these afternoons but recently has not and refuses to go saying that she only wants to go out with me. I would love to take her out for lunch or afternoon tea but am just so nervous that she may refuse to go back and I won't be able to manage on my own with her. Has anyone experienced this? I feel so guilty having to make excuses not to go out as she asks every visit to go out. Her mobility is very poor too so we have to take the wheelchair with us which is another bug bear for her. I hate to see her so unhappy but as I said don't want to have any episodes outside of her refusing to go back. I suppose the obvious answer is not to go out until her anxieties and depression can be controlled but feel so guilty that I cannot do as she asks especially with this lovely weather we have been having recently.
