going home

doris

Registered User
Oct 3, 2005
23
Can somebody help me. My friend wants to go home, how do i convince him that he IS HOME He believes that some one has moved him and all his furniture and put him in this place. I can't convince him that this is his home , he does get very upset and verbaly nasty.Any suggestions Thanks
Doris
 

Kathleen

Registered User
Mar 12, 2005
639
65
West Sussex
Doris

That takes me back a few months to when Mum was at home with Dad and he rang frequently for help, because Mum was insisting she wanted to go home, getting agitated and tearful about being in a "strange place" - they had lived there for 35 years.

I used to go in and point to an ornament or piece of furniture and ask who they belonged to, she knew they were hers, so I said if they were her things she must be in her own home. It took a few minutes pointing out various objects until it dawned on her that she must live there. I then quickly changed the subject and she settled again.

There is no logic to their thinking in that situation and it must be another scary situation for them, maybe that explains your friends verbal aggression.

Other people on the site have said this happens with their relatives as well, it seems a very common theme with AD sufferers.

Sorry I can't be of much help, but at least you know you are not alone with this problem.

Kathleen
 

Norman

Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
4,348
Birmingham Hades
Doris
this is known as sundowning and often happens at the end of the day.
Maybe because they are tired and the light is fading.
My wife after 7/8 years still tells me every evening that she wants to go home
.Sometimes I try the pointing to familiar objects but that does not always work.
I then try just saying after every question "You are home"and in the end the questioning stops
Hope this helps
Norman.
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
how do i convince him that he IS HOME
simple answer is that you can't. If, as Norman says, it is sundowning - which is a very likely explanation, then the problem will pass, until sundowning happens next time.

Sometimes it is more basic than that, and the recognition of everything goes.

All you can do then is try and divert them, even lie to them saying "your home is being re-decorated, you can go back soon".
 

janew

Registered User
Mar 28, 2005
51
54
Thank you Bruce for your reply. My mum also asks to go home at the end of the day. She is always wanting her home redecorating, so I will try this next time she goes on and on about 'going home'.

Jane