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Getting up at all times at night!

Peegee

Registered User
Jan 22, 2015
17
Hi, my mum has recently moved in with me and my husband. She is in moderate stages of dementia. Any suggestions as to how I can encourage her to stay in bed all night. I'm up between once and four times each night putting her back to bed. When asked she will say that she will wait till I come and get her in the morning but then forgets. I take her clothes out of the room so that she can't get fully dressed. Thanks.
 

uselessdaughter

Registered User
Jun 8, 2009
249
West Country
Hi

Welcome to Talking Point and I hope you find it as helpful and supportive as I did when my Dad was alive.

Unfortunately the getting up several times a night can be a big problem with dementia sufferers and is one of the reasons why I never felt we could have Dad live with us. He got to the stage where he would go four or five days with proper sleep, surviving on cat naps in a chair.

When he moved into care they tried giving him a sleeping tablet at night in the hope it would get him into some sort of sleep routine. Unfortunately he still struggled to keep awake and it made him more prone to falls so they stopped the medication and just let him when he wanted. They let him join the night staff on their duties and would sit and have tea and biscuits with them during quiet periods of the night. Easy to handle with constant changes of shifts but not so easy to handle at home, especially if you are still working.

Hopefully this will bump you post up and someone will come along with some better suggestions.

Linda
 

Peegee

Registered User
Jan 22, 2015
17
Hi, my mum has recently moved in with me and my husband. She is in moderate stages of dementia. Any suggestions as to how I can encourage her to stay in bed all night. I'm up between once and four times each night putting her back to bed. When asked she will say that she will wait till I come and get her in the morning but then forgets. I take her clothes out of the room so that she can't get fully dressed. Thanks.
Thanks Linda. Sorry to hear you've lost your dad. Will keep trying to keep her awake during the day but to easy!
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,630
South coast
Im afraid Im another one who hasnt cracked the getting up at night problem.
Mum lived in her own home, but stayed with us at times and when she came and stayed she was getting up and purposely waking me up 4 or 5 times a night as she thought it was daytime. When she was at her own home I discovered that she was wandering outside in her nighty in the wee small hours and getting lost. She is now in a care home, but still doing the same. At least there are night staff to make sure that she is OK (she is prone to fall).

Sleeping tablets havnt worked for her either. I also tried a special clock that showed a picture of someone sleeping during the night hours as I thought this might prompt her to realise that it was, in fact, night-time, but it didnt make any difference.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,034
Scotland
I had this problem with my husband and was falling apart from lack of sleep. My GP put him on Zopiclone which was very helpful but he needed something more which was Trazedone as well to stop the agitation mainly about getting up for work. Most nights he sleeps from 11 to 7 am and that is just wonderful. I can cope with the rest if I get a nights sleep. I think you have to be insistent that a solution must be found if you are to continue to care.
 

chick1962

Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
11,282
near Folkestone
I am also in the same boat as my husband wakes up at least 3 times a night . Somehow I got used to it and on a particularly bad night, I try to power nap in the afternoon. Sorry it's not much help


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

Astiria

Registered User
Jul 23, 2014
4
Anglesey North Wales UK
I guess I may be considered a bad carer for this post but here goes. My mum gets up many times during the night just to tell me she wants to get back into bed. She cannot pull the quilt over herself. For 7 months I would get up everytime to get her back into bed. It usually occurs about 2-5 times on a good night. I count to see how bad a night it has been. One night I gave up counting when I reached 33!
I reached the point where I was at complete breaking point due to sleep deprevation. Now I have a private night carer (expensive) twice a week. The other times I will get up twice and the rest of the time I tell her to go away!!! (Please don't forget I am at her constant call so many other times). The heating is on and she will get on the bed or doze on the couch. It may sound terrible but if I don't take this approach I will break (and belive me, before xmas I was feeling suicidal) and would have to put her in a home which I don't want to do.
Not much help I know but I feel I have no other choice.
 
Last edited:

dede5177

Registered User
Feb 5, 2015
22
Nuneaton
Hi, my mum has recently moved in with me and my husband. She is in moderate stages of dementia. Any suggestions as to how I can encourage her to stay in bed all night. I'm up between once and four times each night putting her back to bed. When asked she will say that she will wait till I come and get her in the morning but then forgets. I take her clothes out of the room so that she can't get fully dressed. Thanks.
Hi, I have a similar problem with my mom. Sometimes I leave her as the heating is on if she is not loud, its ok. What sometimes helps is to take her out she can walk 4-5 miles with the dogs or around town she is not fast but is better tempered for the exercise! this is time consuming so I have day time carers for 2-3 hours help twice a week as they take her out for walking activities and she is not just with me she hates it but it seems to tire her out and then I have to make sure she does not sleep a lot after meals or in the early evening as well.
 

THEHELP

Registered User
Jan 30, 2015
17
I'm so pleased to have found this thread...

Hi, I have a similar problem with my mom. Sometimes I leave her as the heating is on if she is not loud, its ok. What sometimes helps is to take her out she can walk 4-5 miles with the dogs or around town she is not fast but is better tempered for the exercise! this is time consuming so I have day time carers for 2-3 hours help twice a week as they take her out for walking activities and she is not just with me she hates it but it seems to tire her out and then I have to make sure she does not sleep a lot after meals or in the early evening as well.
I'm fairly new to TP and still finding my feet, so I hope this post arrives in the correct place!!!! My husband is up time after time and night after night...and believe me he IS NOT quiet! He is in and out of the bathroom...next door to my daughters room, so no sleep for her either! If we TRY to ignore the fact that he is up and awake we soon find we can't...pots smashing to the floor, trying to light the log burner, banging doors, cooking food...the list is endless. He is often confused..he thinks it is a different time, place,he has something that must be done........ He is often verbally aggressive. When he does sleep we often find it difficult to get back over. Coping with this illness when rested is difficult, when seriously sleep deprived its a nightmare. I know there is no answer, but it's good to vent sometimes!!!!!!!
 

Amber 3

Registered User
Feb 4, 2015
38
South Devon
I am in the same position, my husband is up most of the night wandering around and usually wakes me around a dozen times on a bad night. I have taken to sleeping on the settee downstairs to try and get some rest but he is up and down stairs opening the door and putting the lights on. I did ask the GP about something to help him relax at night but was told that it was not a good idea as dementia patients had higher risk of heart attacks and strokes on this type of medication. GP advised me not to let hubby sleep during the day.. Easier said than done !!
 

THEHELP

Registered User
Jan 30, 2015
17
I am in the same position, my husband is up most of the night wandering around and usually wakes me around a dozen times on a bad night. I have taken to sleeping on the settee downstairs to try and get some rest but he is up and down stairs opening the door and putting the lights on. I did ask the GP about something to help him relax at night but was told that it was not a good idea as dementia patients had higher risk of heart attacks and strokes on this type of medication. GP advised me not to let hubby sleep during the day.. Easier said than done !!
My husband is taking 7.5 sleeping tablet and lots of tablets for a list of other ailments (lots of them that can cause drowsiness)...still up and down all night!!!!!! By the way he is often up by 5.30am and hasn't had any sleep during the day....so not allowing your husband to sleep during the day (even if you could) doesn't always mean that you would get a decent sleep on the night!!!!
 

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