Getting needs assessment for someone with dementia

[North Babster]

Hi there,
My local council have insisted I need my mum's and dad's consent over the phone to get a needs assessment for each of them. This is almost impossible as they don't remember anything I tell them from one moment to the next and if someone rings them - they will say they don't need any help! Has anyone else had similar issues trying to get an assessment? Any advice?
My mum is still on the waiting list for the memory clinic so still no official diagnosis (has been since last October). Even through the GP tried to speed up the referral, the clinic said she didn't meet the criteria. My brother chased it up the referral with the memory clinic and was told that we should be receiving an appointment by the end of May. The system just feels so broken!
It's so exhausting trying to care and advocate for someone with dementia, when their main carer is also disabled and doesn't understand their condition. I feel like I keep having to tell my story every time I contact someone and it's so upsetting.
Best wishes,
Barbara

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @North Babster I am sorry that you are having difficulty getting the needs assessments for your mum and dad, it really does sound as if the social services are not listening to what their needs are.
I would suggest that you write or email your local council adult social services department to explain that due to your mum and dad's memory issues they cannot give consent to the needs assessment and that they need an urgent referral. Give them as much information as possible and state that you will hold them responsible if anything happens to your mum and dad as they are 'vulnerable adults at risk of harm' (use those words).
I hope that this helps a little.

 

[North Babster]

Hello @North Babster I am sorry that you are having difficulty getting the needs assessments for your mum and dad, it really does sound as if the social services are not listening to what their needs are.
I would suggest that you write or email your local council adult social services department to explain that due to your mum and dad's memory issues they cannot give consent to the needs assessment and that they need an urgent referral. Give them as much information as possible and state that you will hold them responsible if anything happens to your mum and dad as they are 'vulnerable adults at risk of harm' (use those words).
I hope that this helps a little.

Thanks for the advice. I think what you suggest is right. It's just so hard having to fight and advocate for them on top of everything else I do. We need a better system than this - one that supports carers better!

 

[phill]

In your letter/email to Adult Social Services, say that you consider that both your parents “lack the mental capacity to decide whether or not to undergo a needs assessment” and that Adult Social Services should therefore make a “best interests decision” on your parents’ behalf to do the needs assessments anyway. Those key phrases should hopefully grab their attention and get things moving.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Thanks for the advice. I think what you suggest is right. It's just so hard having to fight and advocate for them on top of everything else I do. We need a better system than this - one that supports carers better!

Yes, I agree with you there, the constant battles can be tiring.

 

[North Babster]

In your letter/email to Adult Social Services, say that you consider that both your parents “lack the mental capacity to decide whether or not to undergo a needs assessment” and that Adult Social Services should therefore make a “best interests decision” on your parents’ behalf to do the needs assessments anyway. Those key phrases should hopefully grab their attention and get things moving.

Thanks for the wording.