Getting my Mum to let carers in

[Sam01]

Hi all, we’ve had the ongoing battle of getting a diagnosis this year and finally got the early onset dementia with Alzheimer’s a couple of months ago for my Mum.

Unfortunately despite this there is still lack of insight, we struggle to get my Mum to see it’s not just her that needs the support but us as a family massively too.

We were able to get a support worker to agree to come to try assess her need for support while my Dad is at work today, but found out after all the time and effort getting someone to come she wouldn’t let her in the house. 😔

It’s been a hard week, trying to reassure her but still lots of confusion and thinks we want to ‘put her away’ despite lots of reassurance this is not the case.

If anyone has any advice it would be incredibly appreciated 🙏🏼

 

[anniedes]

Sorry for your situation 🙏 my mum was the same but iff you try to talk with her worker together maybe she will listen, the carer's are really good and put your mind at rest once you have them it takes a little bit of the stress off yourself, good luck 🤞

 

[Sam01]

Sorry for your situation 🙏 my mum was the same but iff you try to talk with her worker together maybe she will listen, the carer's are really good and put your mind at rest once you have them it takes a little bit of the stress off yourself, good luck 🤞

Yes I totally understand, unfortunately I work too & the carer/my mum didn’t call us when they got there to notify us of the isssue. My dad found out by calling my Mum to ask how it had gone.

I just feel so disappointed & want her to accept she needs the support. We don’t have any direct contact numbers for the team due to the time of year they haven’t actually set up a regular carer at the moment so managed to sort a temporary 1hr care but if she refuses to open the door what can we do?

 

[anniedes]

Maybe you can contact your local adult services they might be able to help, does she have a social worker ?

 

[Rosettastone57]

Yes I totally understand, unfortunately I work too & the carer/my mum didn’t call us when they got there to notify us of the isssue. My dad found out by calling my Mum to ask how it had gone.

I just feel so disappointed & want her to accept she needs the support. We don’t have any direct contact numbers for the team due to the time of year they haven’t actually set up a regular carer at the moment so managed to sort a temporary 1hr care but if she refuses to open the door what can we do?

Welcome to the forum and others will be along soon with better advice, but have you installed a key safe? I'm afraid that not accepting the required support is very common for a person with dementia. If you wait for a person with dementia to agree with you or see your point of view you will wait forever. Logic and reasoning is gone , I'm sure your mum thinks there's nothing wrong with her and why all this fuss? Do you have lasting power of attorney?