One possible way to do it is to travel separately from your dad and park up nearby, so as to be out of your mum’s sight, but on the spot to meet up with your dad the moment he leaves the care home himself. That way, he doesn’t have to travel home alone. Just an idea.
Getting mum into respite
- Thread starter Sarahjdh
- Start date
Good idea, my mum and I often act as a tag team - one of us goes in first then the other arrives later, then we leave in reverse order afterwards. Ask the staff to distract her when it’s time for dad to leave, and see if you can convince your dad not to say goodbye to your mum (just “pop to the loo” or slip out quietly). I know it sounds really awful but we have found that it’s a kinder way to do it, otherwise Dad would get so distressed because he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t coming with us. The staff will be really used to managing the situation, and can help you with lots of different aspects of your mum’s stay. I kept my phone on my bedside table for the first few nights but they never needed to call me, even though he wasn’t sleeping well at night, because he slept during the day instead. I really hope it all goes well for you. Keep us updated!
Hi, we got mum into the home today about 3pm. All in all it was easier than expected, though the process at times very hard as well especially as we got her ready. The home staff were great. We left her on her room with one staff member while another stayed with her to go and sort out paperwork. Dad and I had a cup of tea with the manager and senior care staff member and then we left without going back to see her. No news from the home as yet but we'll phone tomorrow. Maybe better not to know this evening so we can sleep.
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