Hello All,
I am so sorry for being such a drama queen, I was in such a bad place, after I visited George and saw how totally helpless I was to try to comfort him and show him how much I loved him, he was so distressed and confused. I have cried so much over the past few days, I don't have any tears left. I have found so much comfort in what you have all said to me, I just felt that I was such a bore, talking so much about how I was feeling, when I read my thread, it was all about ME, I was not looking at the bigger picture, you are all suffering so much and have done for longer than I have. I have been so wrapped up in my own sorrow that I have neglected to see what effect this dreadful illness is having on our sons, the are hurting just as much as I am, they have lost a wonderful Dad, a great friend and above all a confidante they will never forget especially during their teenage years. It must be so awful for them to see George as he is, and they must cry just as much as I do, but they don't carry their sorrow on their sleeves as I do. I have done an awful lot of thinking over the last few nights, and I am going to try to be a lot stronger. The past few days have given me an insight into what I have to face, and I will be stronger I hope when that time comes. I can convince myself just now that I will manage, because George was so much better yesterday, and I feel a lot better today. He was almost back to having that twinkle in his eye and I got my hugs and little kisses and he managed to tell me he loved me a few times. "My cup runneth over."
You have all been so kind to me and I have come a long way since my first post on Talking Point, you have have made me strong and given me the will to carry on. I knew there would be pitfalls, because many of you have prepared me for them, but I just crumbled when the time came during the week. Thank God I have been given another chance and having some of the old George back will better prepare me for the next time, and with your help I will get through the dark days.
Thank you all so much, and please, if I do begin to sound like a broken record Tell
Me !!
I love you all,
Margaret xx