1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. father ted

    father ted Registered User

    Aug 16, 2010
    690
    London
    Mum who has AD lives with me. I also have a disabled child. This weekend my child went to respite so I had sometime to myself.........

    Saturday morning as my time was my own I went to our local 'non urgent care' centre to see a GP about a minor health problem I had. Like most people now, if I ring my GP for an appt it is engaged from opening at 8 till about 10am. When you get through you know thw appts have gone besides of which I don't want to particularly want to always take my daughter with me. Get seen and given anti biotics for minor infection. Come home.....
    Mum complaining she can barely walk (had got herself up and dressed and down the stairs). Said her legs were 'so bad' this can't be normal. Told her to take a painkiller which she did but after 5 minutes says "It's not working!". I could tell she was not going to be satisfied till she had seen a GP and also there is the fear that something serious may be overlooked. Took her to clinic- GP says take painkillers, move about more, drink more fluids etc. Mum comes away "Oh! what a lovely Dr, I feel so reassured". This reassurance cost me 2 hours of time and we came away with nothing but the advice I give Mum everyday.

    As it was a nice day took Mum for a drive to the park lunch out and a little walk. Mum says she must go to the toilet so sit outside and wait for her. She was ages. I go in and shout over the door are you OK? " No come in" I go in she says I'm in a state I can't go- do something" This all to the amusement of people waiting in the queue.

    I told her not to worry and we'll go home so she can sit in peace and comfort. Oh no "I need to see someone, I can't be left like this" So back we go to non urgent care.
    The receptionist said were you here earlier-twice?!!! Wait another hour and a half saw GP who says drink plenty, move around more and eat plenty of fruit.

    Sorry to go on but in short the problem is Mum is terrified of having an 'accident' so asks me for Imodium on a daily basis. She did have bowel surgery several years ago which has effected the frequency with which she goes so initially the GP said it would do no harm to take it regularly. We are now in a situation that if she goes twice she will want an Imodium, if she is going to her day centre she wants one if she is going the hairdressers she wants one and sometimes if she 'don't feel right' she wants one. The GP told her to stop taking them and explained why and she nodded in agreement.
    This morning again she asks for one and I say no. Consequently about 6 hours of my free, responsibility free Saturday was spent at the Dr's and all the advice given as good as nothing as she insists she needs Imodium. I am of course cruel and unkind for denying her what she 'needs'. When I managed to slip out Saturday evening for a few hours- my son was at home with his girlfriend so she was not in the house on her own she said " I'm getting used to being on my own- I just get left- I'd be better off in a home". I know I know I know its the dementia but I find it so HARD because she is beyond reason so you either have to ignore it all and therefore to her mind I am always riding roughshod over what she thinks she needs or try and distract her, coax her and think of nice things to do when all I want to do is runaway screaming.
     
  2. Isabella41

    Isabella41 Registered User

    Feb 20, 2012
    901
    Northern Ireland
    I went through a similar saga with my own mum. She was convinced she was consipated if she didn't 'go' every day. As she was on co-codomol the GP thought this was plausible enough and prescribed her lactulose which mum then began to drink like water with the inevitable consequences. No matter where I hid it she would find it. Someone suggested that we wash out one of the bottles and refill it with a water and sugar mix then the next time the chemist called with her refills of meds drop the placebo bottle in with the delivery. It worked and even though it obviously tasted very different mum accepted that as the girl from the chemist had dropped it off it must just be a different flavour. Would something like this work with you. I know some of the immodium type meds come in capsule form. Could you open up the capsule and empty out the contents before reassembling. Fiddly I know but it may work.
    Isn't it strange how they have this fixation with toilet matters.
     
  3. father ted

    father ted Registered User

    Aug 16, 2010
    690
    London

    Thank you Isabella 41, what a brilliant idea re; removing content of capsule. Will keep the peace and also allow me to assess if she actually does need them.
     
  4. OlKlein

    OlKlein Registered User

    Mar 10, 2015
    13
    Hang in there. It does take a lot of patience.
     
  5. Long-Suffering

    Long-Suffering Registered User

    Jul 6, 2015
    426
    My dad is also obsessed with his bowels. He is always constipated but at the same time is terrified he is going to **** himself. Just recently he has forgotten how to ****. I didn't even think that was possible. This is gross, but my mum has to help him by pulling the stools out of him. She is equally obsessed with describing his every bowel movement to me.

    LS
     

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