From tears to rage - now an inquest

[Lou99]

After my mums death yesterday - thanks for all your support.

Now transpires after pm that she died of clot on lung - pulminory embolism. The coroner has investigated and she only received 20 days of the blood thinning agent after her hip op, rather than the 28 days prescribed by NICE. Coroner inferring that this incompetence could be cause of death. District nurses were supposed to administer this daily as she was in care home. I don't know what to do now - oh god she could still be alive - those stupid *******s have let my mum die due to their incompetence - god help them .... Lou

 

[Grannie G]

I`m so sorry .

 

[lin1]

I am dreadfully sorry to hear this.

 

[LYN T]

Oh Lou! First your Mum's passing and now having to deal with this. I'm so sorry. There is plenty of support here if you need it.

Take care

Lyn T

 

[Lou99]

Oh Lou! First your Mum's passing and now having to deal with this. I'm so sorry. There is plenty of support here if you need it.

Take care

Lyn T

I don't know what to do now - they've also said I need to go and formally identify her body as police failed to do the procedure properly. - I am at my wits end here - I never wanted to see her dead - just wanted to remember her how she was ...

 

[LYN T]

Dear Lou

I hope you have someone you can take with you for support.

Lyn T XX

 

[Ann Mac]

I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are going through this, to lose your Mum is heartbreaking enough, I can't begin to imagine how you must feel with everything else - sending you positive thoughts and wishing you strength, lou xxx

 

[Hair Twiddler]

Dear Lou,
I am so sorry that your mum has passed away and now for this dreadful sequence of events to happen.
Believe me your Coroner and their Officers will give you much support and guidance. My heart goes out to you as you are now being asked to provide a formal identification of your mum. If you feel that you are unable for whatever reason to take a friend or family member along - do ask the Officer assigned to you for their support, it may be more of a comfort, in the long term, to have a supportive stranger with you at such a time.
Once again so sorry for you.
Take care.

 

[Jessbow]

Lou, are you really the only person that could go? Ask the nursing homeif they will send someone.

Don't do if you don't have to.

You are angry right now- don't let it consume you.It wont change anything now.

 

[Izzy]

Oh Lou I'm so sorry. I hope you hVe someone to support you. X

 

[Cornishman]

Hi Lou

So very sorry to hear regarding the sad loss of your mum and now this situation too.

Unexpectedly we were told there needed to be inquest into my mum's death (something to do with a Deprivation of Liberty provision being in place). As others have said, the Coroner's office were compassionate and helpful, and to cut a long story short, I wasn't required to identify mum and they've allowed the funeral to proceed with an interim death certificate.

I don't want to raise your expectations over this as the circumstances are fairly different, but might be worth asking if identification is really necessary. For info, mum was taken straight from the CH to the funeral director's chapel of rest.

Thinking of you at this difficult time.
x

 

[CollegeGirl]

Oh no, I'm so very sorry. Is there anyone else who could identify her body for you? What an awful thing for you to have to do, again, I'm so so sorry xx

 

[Lou99]

Hi Lou

So very sorry to hear regarding the sad loss of your mum and now this situation too.

Unexpectedly we were told there needed to be inquest into my mum's death (something to do with a Deprivation of Liberty provision being in place). As others have said, the Coroner's office were compassionate and helpful, and to cut a long story short, I wasn't required to identify mum and they've allowed the funeral to proceed with an interim death certificate.

I don't want to raise your expectations over this as the circumstances are fairly different, but might be worth asking if identification is really necessary. For info, mum was taken straight from the CH to the funeral director's chapel of rest.

Thinking of you at this difficult time.
x

Thanks - will look into - somebody above mentioned that the care home may be able to do - I will wait to speak to coroner tomorrow - am so sorry to hear about your mum too - I found your post on the other forum (loss after dementia) and would have posted there if I'd seen first. Take care of yourself ....

 

[Pickles53]

It's just appalling and distressing to hear this, I'm so sorry you have to deal with yet another shock. Hope that someone else can help with the identification.

 

[Lou99]

It's just appalling and distressing to hear this, I'm so sorry you have to deal with yet another shock. Hope that someone else can help with the identification.

Luckily they've said OK for care home manager to do the identification. Arranged funeral today they said I could go ahead even though there is an inquest. Business as usual - all still seems so surreal....

 

[Pickles53]

Luckily they've said OK for care home manager to do the identification. Arranged funeral today they said I could go ahead even though there is an inquest. Business as usual - all still seems so surreal....

Surreal is the word. Now and again when I'm doing something mundane I realise that I have stopped thinking about mum for a while, but mostly I feel like I'm looking at the world from the inside of a bubble.... Mum's funeral is not until the end of next week because of geographical travelling logistics for our widely-scattered family. It has helped to have time to think about what we wanted to do, but now everything is pretty much sorted I wish it were sooner.

Take care Lou, hope you have someone close to hold your hand through this awful time.

 

[Lou99]

Surreal is the word. Now and again when I'm doing something mundane I realise that I have stopped thinking about mum for a while, but mostly I feel like I'm looking at the world from the inside of a bubble.... Mum's funeral is not until the end of next week because of geographical travelling logistics for our widely-scattered family. It has helped to have time to think about what we wanted to do, but now everything is pretty much sorted I wish it were sooner.

Take care Lou, hope you have someone close to hold your hand through this awful time.

Thanks P - We are having our funeral Thursday too, I wish it was tomorrow like you do. - only four of us - and I have a lovely husband to hold my hand !hope you have someone too..... I wonder when the bubble will fade. I am looking forward to the crying coming to an end - I know it's weird, but my face hurts so much and am blind as a bat because I can't wear contacts and have no glasses I love the way people reach out to each other here - virtual shoulders are sometimes just as comforting as the real thing. Will be thinking about you and your family wherever you all are next week - Lou xx

 

[Pickles53]

Thanks P - We are having our funeral Thursday too, I wish it was tomorrow like you do. - only four of us - and I have a lovely husband to hold my hand !hope you have someone too..... I wonder when the bubble will fade. I am looking forward to the crying coming to an end - I know it's weird, but my face hurts so much and am blind as a bat because I can't wear contacts and have no glasses I love the way people reach out to each other here - virtual shoulders are sometimes just as comforting as the real thing. Will be thinking about you and your family wherever you all are next week - Lou xx

Lovely husband is on his way back home; I'm writing this waiting for him at the station as he works away from home three days a week. Little grandson is my saving grace too, just can't help smiling at his toddler antics. There will be a few more family members at the service, but I expect quite a few of mum's friends and neighbours will come. She lived all her life in the same place and we never went out there without her meeting someone she knew. What you say about TP is absolutely right, everyone has been such a comfort to me since I first joined when I was absolutely clueless about everything. We will get through this somehow. Xx

 

[ASH74]

I am sorry that this has happened .....http://www.coronerscourtssupportservice.org.uk may be able to support you if you need it. Take care.


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[halojones]

Lou and pickles, I just wanted to send you both my condolences at your loss, and I hope your days went as well as they could, given the circumstances...I. am sending you both a bucket load of tissues...x bless x