Hubby has at last agreed to go for respite after much pleading for few weeks so I can go to see my sister who is very poorly, but she lives about 5 hour drive away so I would stay for a few days. He was dozing in the armchair which is how he normaly spends his day now, no conversation, no interest in tv or daily papers all stuff he used to love, I can't even have the radio on or music he will really struggle to get out his chair to turn radio off. So, he suddenly woke up and blurted out in his slurred speech that he has now and said " ok I'll go to this institution !!! you want mento go to " it was like he had been dreaming. I told him it wasnt an institution but a lovely place for him to have a little holiday, AND he agreed, I was over the moon, rang my sister and got things arranged, my daughter is taking few days off work to drive me there. BUT next day hubby denied having said any of this and got really angry, but as he cant make sensible conversation it was difficult to reason with him. So I tempted him to agree again by trying to tell him that while hes on this little holiday I would get the bathroom done for him, which he desperately needs, take the bath out and put in walk in shower, i have got it sort of booked to get it done, not that he can walk anymore his mobility is nearly zero now, but he agreed again when I told him about the shower. BUT after al.l that rambling on my question is, IF while hubby is at this respite break and be hopefully settles, I'm not sure how he will be as hes deteriorated so much this last 6 months, I'm a completely drained and shatterd, could I push to try and make it a permanent stay, it's such a lovely place, with a lovely big room for him overlooking the countryside and sea.Hes such a danger to himself now, it's scary watching him try to walk about with his frame,and he tries to get up the stairs so I put a chair infront of them so he cant go up. Hes an accident waiting to happen, he would be so much safer and I think happier because he would be around people, SO could i push for him to stay there as a permanent resident. I realise it might sound heartless and cruel but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.