Forgetting my name

[Marymck]

My partner of 50 plus years has for the first time today my name and the names of our children.
He has Alzheimer’s and has had it for over four years but this is the first time he has forgotten who I am.Why this sudden development and will he go back to remembering or is the a further stage in this horrible disease?

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @Marymck

It isn’t really a sudden development it has probably been coming for a while. It isn’t always permanent. You might get a surprise or day if your partner uses your name

It`s very upsetting I know. My husband didn’t use my name for a long time but as long as he smiled at me I knew he knew who I was

I do hope your partner remembers your name again.

 

[Marymck]

Thank you,Grannie G.

 

[Kevinl]

I've been everyone, husband, neighbour, brother anyone but me and we've been together since 1976.
Don't take it personally, it's part of the illness, hard I understand but it's the illness speaking not him.
All became worthwhile when for no apparent reason while I was washing up my wife got up off her stool in the kitchen, wrapped her arms round me, kissed me on the shoulder (she was a bit of a shortie) and told me she loved me.
Keep me going on and one day you might be get one of those moments of lucidity that make it all worthwhile. I did it for her because I know she would have been there for me too. K

 

[northumbrian_k]

A bit like @Kevinl , I have been used to being called all sorts by my wife. Sometimes she would say "K, when will K be back?". She would agree that my name is K, but insisted that I wasn't the K she was looking for. Now, she is largely non-verbal and hasn't called anyone by name in a long time.

Although this was hard at first, I have learned to accept it and to understand that knowing my name (or not) and how/if we are related really are not important. People (especially those who know little about dementia) often ask if my wife recognises me or knows who I am. My honest answer is that I have no idea. Looking at things from that perspective doesn't help either of us. What I do know is that she is comfortable in my presence and occasionally (by touch or a gesture) seems to acknowledge the bond between us. That is precious and far more important than knowing my name.

 

[Kevinl]

I said for better or worse when we got married and I like to think that I'm a man of my word. Turns out I got the latter option, I was there for her because I know she would have been there for me too had it been the other way round. K

 

[Rishile]

My husband now calls my by my name instead of the nickname he has always used. Every now and then he will call me by the nickname and it takes me back. Whatever he choses to call me, I know he still loves me and I still love him. Sometimes he forgets I am his wife, other times he has no problem remembering who I am. Take each day as it comes and enjoy the good moments.