I guess I want to let off steam. 3 years ago after long fight with dementia my dad passed away at home in the care of family, myself and my 3 siblings moved back home to be with him and support my mum, whilst staying there we spotted subtle signs that mum was getting confused and showing signs of dementia, her doctor disagreed said it was stress of my father's death but I fought to get her in the memory clinic as I wanted early intervention. Nov 21 she was diagnosed with mild alzchiemers, given medication and told she had full capacity and was discharged for 12 months..As soon as she was diagnosed I contacted social services ( as they had been great in helping my dad) and we would be fully paying for any assistance they suggested. All siblings were active in her care and more than willing to do more if needed, we were goong out for lunch dates 3 times a week, mum's home was spotless and well maintained. 4 months after diagnosis she had a major manic moment opening tins of food and pouring them, I either thought she had a stroke Or a water infection so took her straight to hospital.. she became confused at the hospital and after 6 weeks on a psychiatric unit we were told she could not return home and a dols was put in place by social services..we pleaded that we would move in, work it in shifts employ someone private and it was all declined. They never met us ( this was all done by phone, they never visited mums home and she was put into 24 hour residential care. We had not sorted poa (stupidly delayed because of covid) so I've had the lengthy battle for deputyship. Mum is ill but is still dressing herself fully continent eating and knows who we are, I've now got deputyship, it's taken a while as social services would not supply us with proof of no capacity and none of her doctors agreed. Social services have now sent me an invoice owed..£ 86,000, she has 70k and a house (still in my dad's name) as we never got round to do probate.. it wipes out mums money which I honestly wouldn't have cared about if we had been able to fulfill her wishes.. I would pay double to have kept her home.. we are all upstanding people, myself police my sister banker who offered to have her 24/7 or do it between us at her house. The initial assessment says this but declined as mum needed emi care ( no medical) due to being in a care home our visits were limited due to covid at the beginning and this has been detrimental to the closeness we all had. I've filed a formal complaint with social services as I feel they rushed her into fulltime care due to her having the money. Has anyone successfully won a complaint, I know its a loss now anyway as moving her back home after 3 years would be no good I'm just frustrated that no one even let us try. Sorry for the rant.
Forced into care
- Thread starter kerryann76
- Start date
Hello @kerryann76 and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. I am so sorry to read about your experiences. I do not have any experience of lodging a complaint regarding social services, but perhaps one of our members might be able to advise you.
In the meantime you might find it useful to contact the Alzheimer's Society helpline and I have attached a link below.
alzheimerwebstg.prod.acquia-sites.com
In the meantime you might find it useful to contact the Alzheimer's Society helpline and I have attached a link below.
Contact us
Find out how to get in touch with Alzheimer's Society by phone, email, post or online.
alzheimerwebstg.prod.acquia-sites.com
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry you are dealing with this situation.
Your experience sounds horrendous.
I think you're doing the right thing by complaining, and i wish you luck and success.
Your information makes me feel very scared for my own mum's future.
I cannot believe that Social Services are able to make those decisions, when you, as her family were clearly willing to care for your mum.
I understand the admission to a psychiatric unit for assessment. But why did they decide your mum could not return to her home, with your support. And what is dols?
I hope you don't mind me asking these questions, but my mum was only diagnosed 3 weeks ago. My stepdad is her main carer, they are both in their mid 80's. But neither have a will, and my stepdad doesn't want to discuss making a will or POA.
Currently my mum is responsible for all household finances.
My mum is having an operation in 2 weeks under GA, we have been told that her dementia is likely to worsen. If she becomes more confused in hospital, could they keep her there, or transfer her to a psychiatric unit?
I know systems need to protect vulnerable adults, but some make no sense.
Kerryann76 please keep us updated, and good luck again.
Your experience sounds horrendous.
I think you're doing the right thing by complaining, and i wish you luck and success.
Your information makes me feel very scared for my own mum's future.
I cannot believe that Social Services are able to make those decisions, when you, as her family were clearly willing to care for your mum.
I understand the admission to a psychiatric unit for assessment. But why did they decide your mum could not return to her home, with your support. And what is dols?
I hope you don't mind me asking these questions, but my mum was only diagnosed 3 weeks ago. My stepdad is her main carer, they are both in their mid 80's. But neither have a will, and my stepdad doesn't want to discuss making a will or POA.
Currently my mum is responsible for all household finances.
My mum is having an operation in 2 weeks under GA, we have been told that her dementia is likely to worsen. If she becomes more confused in hospital, could they keep her there, or transfer her to a psychiatric unit?
I know systems need to protect vulnerable adults, but some make no sense.
Kerryann76 please keep us updated, and good luck again.
Just in answer to the question PammieA asks, what s dols it's a Deprivation of Liberty Safeguarding Order, 11 pages long, filled in both sides so 22 sides of A4 mainly tick boxes, it's an alternative to sectioning when for one's own or the public may be at risk for mental health related issues.
Care and nursing homes use DoLSO as sectioning is usually used for NHS care.
In lower case the important bit Safeguarding bit blends in a bit, the lower case o is as important you might think, but the safeguarding is the important bit.
Hope that helps. Good luck. K
Care and nursing homes use DoLSO as sectioning is usually used for NHS care.
In lower case the important bit Safeguarding bit blends in a bit, the lower case o is as important you might think, but the safeguarding is the important bit.
Hope that helps. Good luck. K
