'Firsts'

[kingmidas1962]

So now that dad has gone, I am coming to grips with all the 'first' things without him.

I had my first birthday without him, in November - and now my first Christmas without my dad. I cant remember much about recent Christmasses but I do remember my childhood ones well. I remember finding a bike in my bedroom and having NO idea how Santa had got that in there - and traditional Christmas dinners, all pulling crackers and telling the stupid jokes. I remember that I couldn't figure out why my brother (6 years older) didn't want to get up at the crack of dawn like I did!

We had our dinner wearing our silly flimsy paper hats and dad always washed the dishes afterwards, still wearing his, then fell asleep in the afternoon with his hat slipping over his eyes. Happy, happy times. I'm so lucky to have had them!

When I feel a bit stronger I will watch the DVD we have which was made of our old family cine films - and I know there is a Christmas in there somewhere. I can't watch it just yet but the time will come when I can sit and smile

 

[VickyG]

Hi

Hope you're ok other than feeling the 'firsts'............ i had my first birthday in September without Mum being here, and of course, this Christmas will also be the first without her. It feels strange doesn't it

Xx

 

[kingmidas1962]

Hi

Hope you're ok other than feeling the 'firsts'............ i had my first birthday in September without Mum being here, and of course, this Christmas will also be the first without her. It feels strange doesn't it

Xx

Mostly, I'm OK! Have had a horrid run of viral illnesses including laryngitis and a middle ear infection. I think I'm quite run down.

Yes it does feel odd. And part of the oddness is the happy memories, mixed with the sadness. But it's a kind of wry sadness, rather than overwhelming - I find it hard to describe. I saw 'Happy Christmas Dad' cards today, and rather than being floored by it I just felt sad that I couldn't buy one to give any more. I know of many people that seem to find it MUCH harder - my husband, for example, who lost his dad five years ago and is very stuck in his grief.

Anyway - I've never really liked Christmas or New Year, as an adult - it was very sweet when my daughter was little and all geared towards making it magical - but the superficiality of it all wears on me. And of course mum is HARD work. She's obviously grieving too but seems to think she 'should be over it by now' and is definitely in denial about how she might feel.

How are you?

 

[VickyG]

Mostly, I'm OK! Have had a horrid run of viral illnesses including laryngitis and a middle ear infection. I think I'm quite run down.

Yes it does feel odd. And part of the oddness is the happy memories, mixed with the sadness. But it's a kind of wry sadness, rather than overwhelming - I find it hard to describe. I saw 'Happy Christmas Dad' cards today, and rather than being floored by it I just felt sad that I couldn't buy one to give any more. I know of many people that seem to find it MUCH harder - my husband, for example, who lost his dad five years ago and is very stuck in his grief.

Anyway - I've never really liked Christmas or New Year, as an adult - it was very sweet when my daughter was little and all geared towards making it magical - but the superficiality of it all wears on me. And of course mum is HARD work. She's obviously grieving too but seems to think she 'should be over it by now' and is definitely in denial about how she might feel.

How are you?

Hi ya,
Sorry to hear that you've been unwell, sounds like you are run down, not surprising really ! Hope you pick up soon and have as good a Christmas as you can....

I'm not sure how I am if I'm honest. Just trudging through the motions of preparing for the dreaded festivities - like you, I'm not a fan. And this year I could of easily let it all bypass me. Everywhere i go, i see stuff which I would possibly of got for Mum. I can't even look at Christmas cards in the shops ( I bought mine from The Alz shop - bonus ! )............

Anyway, maybe I'll feel better once I'm integrated back into society, i have a job ! Just waiting on a start date, and I'm actually really looking forward to it !! 12 months at home hasn't done anything for my sanity

Thanks for asking after me hun xx