1. di65

    di65 Registered User

    Feb 28, 2013
    772
    new zealand
    I have just got back from my first visit with Lex. He didn't seem pleased or displeased to see me. I had a long chat with the RN before seeing him regarding various aspects of the dementia unit - very helpful. I joined him as they were finishing the morning's exercises and as morning tea was being brought round. We both sat and had out teas and a blueberry muffin (yummy) and I asked him how he was. He told me that he hadn't been given anything to eat since being there:eek: but couldn't recall how long that had been. He wanted to know if we had bought a new house yet (?) and then wanted to know when we were leaving. This questioning was answered with - I have a few errands to run, I'll call back after I've done them - but he wasn't satisfied with this, he said he would come too. He said he would have to leave as it just a complete 'balls-up' in there - they were always changing their minds on who to trade with. This would allude to our business I presume, poor beggar :(. With a pre-arranged signal one of the care-givers came over and distracted him whilst I beat a hasty retreat. The staff seem so lovely, and it was good to put a face to the people I have only spoken to on the phone. The unit itself was very clean and didn't even have that 'smell' that institutions seem to have. I still have to make that decision of whether or not he stays permanently, but hate the thought of putting him through all the upset of settling in again.
     
  2. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,725
    North Somerset
    Hope he is settling in, di. Conversations are fascinating aren't they. Glad you have found a 'good' place. You have an awful decision to make but hopefully the staff can help you make it. Best wishes.
     
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,800
    Female
    South coast
    That sounds pretty positive for a first visit :)
    It sounds a lovely place
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,885
    Kent
    It sounds good to me too.

    Lex does seem as settled as anyone can expect in such a short time and if you have such good impressions of the home and the staff it might help your decision.

    You are handling it well and know this is as good as it gets. It doesn`t make it easy. x
     
  5. di65

    di65 Registered User

    Feb 28, 2013
    772
    new zealand
    The choice of care home was fairly simple for me. The retirement village it is situated in has a wide range of living options - independent townhouses, studio units, serviced apartments, rest home, hospital level care and the dementia unit. It is also a two minute drive from our home, and Lex's mother lives their in a townhouse. It is also the place where his father was in dementia care 8 years ago, and my parents had their townhouse before going into hospital level care before their passing. Some of the staff I knew from Mum and Dad's days are still there and all the ones I have come across seem genuinely interested in their vocation.
    It isn't cheap, and we are self funding, but I guess that is a small price to pay for his comfort and wellbeing.
     
  6. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    856
    WEST SUSSEX
    Sounds like a fairly standard visit Di - how I remember those days last year. I always had to ask a Carer to distract husband when I wanted to leave or else World War Three would break out as he insisted - and he could be so physically strong to begin with - on leaving with me. Sometimes I left to his plaintive cries of "where's Di - she'll sort you b----rs out" - the only time he seemed to remember my name. I hope it gets easier for you as time goes by - you just have to take the good days with the bad as before. Thinking of you. WIFE (Di)
     
  7. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,725
    North Somerset
    Glad you have a good place so near, di65. It will be so much easier for you to visit if you decide to go that route. xx
     

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