First Time Respite - Any Tips?


Registered User
Jan 29, 2006
Hello everyone :)

Well it's not mum's first respite but it is mine!

It's been two years since Dad died and I took over the care of my mum. I have been in turmoil over her going into respite but I had to accept that I needed to have plans in place for the future.

So any tips or advice about things mum should or shouldn't take would be great. I have already started a journal about how I manage mum and her likes and dislikes, and I am also doing a photo album with some pictures and information about all the children and grandchildren so at least the carer's have something to chat to her about.

I am going to choose a room for her tommorrow and this will be the room mum will go into for each respite, (rolling respite 1 week in 8 is planned) so hopefully mum will become familiar with it.

I am looking forward to the break but I am so so worried about leaving mum. I keep crying. I know it's for the best as her mobility has declined so much over the last six months, mum can't walk unaided now and I know it's only a matter of time before full time care is required so although I know it's a step in the right direction, my heart is aching, I love her so much, and I really don't want to have to let go.


Registered User
Feb 24, 2006
My mother only went into respite once but I can't really suggest anything as everyone's different and every home is probably different too.

She decided what we should pack and I wrote a list, though said at the time if anything disappears it was unlikely we'd be able to do anything about it.

No choosing of rooms for her, there was only one room available, and she only got that because one of the regulars was going on an Easter holiday.


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
my heart is aching,
Mine also happen every time I take mum and its a year on now , for me sadly that never stop .

(My mother went yesterday for 2 weeks )

I find its good idea to write down all the clothes that you pack for your mother , as a few time mum come home with half her clothes missing and clothes that did not belong to her, I just put it in her case so when they unpack it for her they see that I have done it .

Take a radio I do that as my mother like to sleep with the radio on or TV at night , she says it does not make her feel so lonely even in my house as she sleeps alone in a room , as she had my father company for 55 years before he died so was not use to sleeping alone in a room .

I took my mother care assessment plan that had all my mother needs in it , when I got to the respite with mum they had a copy of it already that Social worker gave then .

I gave the care home £20 so mum could get her hair done and in case she needed anything ales

It the perception of the unknown the day before and on the way in the car build up when going (also for my mother) to care home , once they and I see she ok with her surrounding and it was a lovely care home , specializes in dementia as all staff our dementia trained , I left mum with me still feeling the stress , but feel better today for the rest . mum just said come back early , meaning don’t be late to pick her up , which I never am , but she always says that to me and mum knowing she can have her hair done there made her feel more contented
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