FIRST STEP in moving out of home.

[Larry5@]

My partner is changing behavior and I and her daughter are about to have to find a way to decide what to do.
She is "saying" ..."nothing is bothering her" but the behavior is contradicting that.
The choices ....seem.... to be
a. preparing for assisted living
b. memory care
c. waiting longer.

I am fairly alert and perceptive to small behavior changes and don't want to "jump the gun" if there is a good way to begin.
She is decidedly and uncharacteristically different today from other days.
No apparent physical illness symptoms. Just ....different. Not "good" different though.

Distant, uncommunicative and seeming lack of response to suggestions of any possible pleasant activity to ...help.
Either to break this mood or have suggestion as to how to proceed.

???
Thanks for any experience any of you have had for an initial plan of action.



Anyone

 

[Fugs]

Hi @Larry5@ , I think that your first stage has to be getting a diagnosis. That may then give you the information you need to decide how to proceed. If your wife is in denial, then this may be difficult, but I think that you need to get a medical opinion.

 

[Larry5@]

Hi @Larry5@ , I think that your first stage has to be getting a diagnosis. That may then give you the information you need to decide how to proceed. If your wife is in denial, then this may be difficult, but I think that you need to get a medical opinion.

She has the diagnosis. Not in denial. Readily acknowledges the condition.
She is not affected TOO badly. It's just ....changes.... that concern me.

I love bonsai. She loves flowers. I try to encourage her involvement with her flowers.
They are not as particular as bonsai so I let her do what she wants with them as it's a nice diversion and takes a different brain path.
Which I believe is good.

The damn condition needs monitoring as her daughter and I are concerned with doing the "right" things to help her manage.
Time should let us know how to proceed.

Thank you for reply. All helps.

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome @Larry5@

I would manage as long as you can at home , perhaps with carers. At the same time explore what support is available in your area

Find support near you

Use our dementia directory to find local support services for people with dementia and their carers in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

What is an Admiral Nurse and how can they help?

Dementia UK is a charity that provides Admiral Nurses for families affected by dementia. Call our Dementia Helpline to find out how we can support you.

www.dementiauk.org

 

[Rishile]

It sounds to me as if you are looking a bit too far into the future at the moment. If there are changes in your partner's behaviour then, I'm sorry to say, you are the one that will need to make adjustments. This can be challenging but, as I was told constantly, 'there is no script'. Only you can decide what is right for you and the best thing for your partner. There is help in the way of carers if you need them but maybe it is a bit early yet. Again, only you can decide.

For the moment I would say take one day at a time. By all means, monitor your partner and consult her GP if there are drastic changes. Medication can help but, to me, is not the only answer. I'm pleased you have the support of her daughter as things will get more and more challenging as time goes on but try to do as much as you can, while you can. Be prepared for her to stop doing things she has always enjoyed and try to find new things she will like.

It sounds as if you at the beginning of the journey and it could take many years. Keep posting here for support and advice.

 

[Larry5@]

It sounds to me as if you are looking a bit too far into the future at the moment. If there are changes in your partner's behaviour then, I'm sorry to say, you are the one that will need to make adjustments. This can be challenging but, as I was told constantly, 'there is no script'. Only you can decide what is right for you and the best thing for your partner. There is help in the way of carers if you need them but maybe it is a bit early yet. Again, only you can decide.

For the moment I would say take one day at a time. By all means, monitor your partner and consult her GP if there are drastic changes. Medication can help but, to me, is not the only answer. I'm pleased you have the support of her daughter as things will get more and more challenging as time goes on but try to do as much as you can, while you can. Be prepared for her to stop doing things she has always enjoyed and try to find new things she will like.

It sounds as if you at the beginning of the journey and it could take many years. Keep posting here for support and advice.

Good reply. Yes, I discover daily and weekly things that help.
Compliments and praise are terrific drugs. Given frequently and appropriately, they work very well.
I too feel that this is too early for the things I am anticipating. But I've always been that way.
Look sometimes too far ahead and try to plan "foolproof" (heh) solutions.
The day I posted the OP was probably a temporary aberration and hopefully that's what it was.

 

[Rishile]

Compliments and praise are terrific drugs.

Please add reassurance to this list. You will find she needs a lot and will never have enough.

You will find that as time goes by, planning is impossible. Keep to short-term plans. Anything else will probably not work.