1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Jazzy

    Jazzy Registered User

    Jun 3, 2006
    34
    Derbyshire
    Hello

    This is my first posting but I've been reading all the messages for some weeks now. My mother went into hospital over 3 months ago after a really bad panic attack, was there for 9 weeks and has just gone into a nursing home. She hasn't been diagnosed with any sort of dementia, but what people talk about has rung so many bells. Her behaviour ranges from extreme agitation and anxiety to being realy quite rational. It's difficult to know how it's going to be when I visit and whether it's the medication making her like this or something else. Anyway, I just want to say how helpful and supportive its been just logging on and reading about other people's experience.


    Thank you
     
  2. Kayla

    Kayla Registered User

    May 14, 2006
    621
    Kent
    Hi Jazzy,
    How old is your mother? My Mum used to get really anxious and worked up about small things. Overnight, she forgot how to use the washing machine and thought her carer had scribbled on it because her own had broken down(it was just the pattern on the control panel). She became irrational and inconsistant, varying from day to day. She has vascular dementia and sometimes she has hallucinations. I think Alzheimer's dementia has slightly different symptoms but there are many variations. My Mum is in a nursing home now, after a fall but this time last year she was still living in her own home and she is now 81.
    Kayla
     
  3. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Hello Jazzy

    Welcome to TP. I have found this forum a great source of support, laughter and good advice from others in a similar situation to mine. I don't feel so alone any more.

    Have you got family and friends to support you, I have a lovely husband, three grown-up daughters and our surprise youngest daughter.......the best mistake we ever made.........

    My sister and I have grown much closer now, but my brother has pulled away completely and is as much use as a chocolate teapot, but that is his loss, not ours.

    My whole life has shifted during the last 6 years of Mum's alzheimers ......she is now just 75....and more so in the months since Dad died. I have found strengths and weaknesses I never knew I had, it is a tough road, but with lots of support and a rather warped sense of humour, so far, so good.

    Kathleen
     
  4. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    558
    Stow-on-the-Wold
    Hi Jazzy

    Reading TP can certainly help you understand your mothers condition but diagnosis in dementia would seem to be very difficult - when Mary was diagnosed with Alzheimers the consultant would only say that he was 80% certain of his diagnosis.

    Regarding the agitation and anxiety, one of Mary's sitters has many years of experience of dimentia and believes that music is very helpful in alleviating these symptoms. I have been trying the use of music for a couple of days and although it is early days she may have a point.

    Keep in touch

    Dick
     
  5. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Jazzy,
    So pleased you decided to post, the more the merrier!! Welcome to TP.
    Love Helen
     
  6. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Jazzy
    Since I've joined TP I can only describe it like putting pieces in a jigsaw.....everything that mum has done in the past seems to make so much more sense......I always thought my dad had hidden a lot from us,which he had,but if only I'd been more aware of this disgusting disease I most certainly could have been more help to him when he was alive....instead I ignored the signs and my poor dad coped on his own for so long...
    I've said it before and I'll say it again this site is a lifeline to me.....there are so many people out there to help me when I'm down....and ,my word,I do have a good giggle at times which feels SOOOOOO good!!!:) :)

    Love
    Wendy
     
  7. mojofilter

    mojofilter Registered User

    May 10, 2006
    130
    St.Helens
    Welcome Jazzy.... Come in, pull up a chair and relax....

    Visiting this site always seems to relax me.. Strange but true :)

    Paul
     
  8. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    715
    It seems to me theres no easy and clear way for either ourselves or the medics to truly diagnose or distinguish exactly whether someone has LBD or vascular dementis or Alzheimers

    I have yet to see a truly definitive list of symptoms

    Many of my Mothers symptoms seem like LBD yet as she has had uncontrollable High blood pressure for probably 30 years it could very well be Vascular

    However given the wild swings from confusion to "near normality" i err on the side of LBD

    Theres also no timescale for this disease which makes trying to plan what to do with patients or your own lives a nightmare
     
  9. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    HI Jazzy!

    “I just want to say how helpful and supportive its been just logging on and reading about other people's experience”.

    I know I kept dipping my toes in the ‘shallow end’ for a while, just reading and trying to start ‘wising up’ a little, then realised the only way I was going to learn to swim with this was by jumping in at the ‘deep end’ (still wear my water wings, sometimes!!) but it’s true! There’s much more buoyancy once you’re in!!!! And there are veritable lifeguards here too!

    In terms of diagnosis, and this might sound awfully ‘down’, I gather the ‘type’ of dementia can only be truly and accurately diagnosed ‘in the past tense’ (if indeed, symptoms indicate dementia). Doesn’t help anyone of us here just now, maybe, but perhaps having the courage to share our experiences – with a lot of help and virtual hand-holding for each other along the way – could also feed research to enable earlier and more accurate diagnosis to help others…..

    No ‘definitive’ diagnosis maybe, ‘no timescale….’, nightmarish, yes, maybe on both emotional and practical levels….. but not ALL the time……

    Kathleen, special thanks from me – your post on this thread reminded me of that phrase of ‘problems being opportunities’ - sure have found a lot of self-analysis (and hopefully some growth!) arising from what first seemed the most insurmountable challenge I had ever faced…. and I’ve have enjoyed more humour here than I could ever have believed possible in light of what we all face in our similar but disparate ways….

    Hugs, all, Karen (TF), x
     
  10. Jazzy

    Jazzy Registered User

    Jun 3, 2006
    34
    Derbyshire
    hello again

    Hi everyone

    Firstly a big thank you for all your replies. Your support is great and really helpful. To tell you a bit more, Mum is nearly 84 and up to this year was living on her own with support, ringing for taxis to go to the hairdressers and generally coping quite well. As you'll gather she's gone down hill rapidly. Since I posted my message she has started to barricade herself in her room at the care home. She's terrified of everyone and everything. So this afternoon she was admitted to hospital for a proper assessment. I'm trying to be hopeful that they'll be able to get the medication right and answer some of my questions - has she got some form of dementia.

    Thanks again for all your encouragement.

    Jazzy
     
  11. Kayla

    Kayla Registered User

    May 14, 2006
    621
    Kent
    Dear Jazzy,
    My Mum barricaded herself in her nursing home room too. She used the wheelchair, chair, little tables and any leads she could lay her hands on. The staff were really worried, but it looked a bit comical in a way. Later Mum told me that she had been locked in her room! She couldn't remember doing it! Now she knows the staff and her medication has been sorted out, she seems to have been more settled. I think they do get very frightened at times. I hope your Mum calms down and becomes happier in her care home soon.
    Kayla
     

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