First post

[Hannahb99]

Hi, my (24) mom (57) was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment last year. We expected it to be dementia due to her symptoms (forgetfulness, getting confused following simple instructions and finding it difficult to talk and communicate) and felt like we had hit a brick wall with what happens next. It felt like the doctors were like ‘theres your diagnosis, over to you’ and we didnt know where to turn or why this was happening.

We have been trying anything we can to improve her symptoms even going private to a menopause specialist to see if hormone deficiency was the cause. I’ve got her every vitamin and supplement under the sun and shes been on HRT for 2 months now and no improvement so I’m now just looking for advice on how to cope with decline even though it hurts to give up on the hope of her condition improving.

In particular I find it difficult being away from her because I worry. I am just starting out in my career after university and enjoy my job but finding it difficult to focus on anything due to anxiety. My mom is my best friend and I’m really worried about the future. My Dad is in the picture too but is having to work hard since mom is unable to work and the situation is clearly putting a strain on their relationship- she struggles to follow even basic conversation . I feel like I have to be the one there for her as a result of this to try and keep her spirits high.

Any advice would be very much appreciated

 

[SherwoodSue]

I do really feel for you. Things are difficult at the moment and you sound fearful for the future.
It’s not surprising that you are looking for things that might help ‘fix’ your mum.
It terms of your wellbeing though moving forward to a place of acceptance may be the way to go.
Please do understand that you aren’t responsible for your parents marriage, your own feelings are more than enough right now never mind taking responsibility for the feelings of others.
Although this is all new, it is a kind of loss you are trying to navigate despair, denial anger , sadness are all feelings which may surprise you at various times.
It is normal to be concerned about the future, for your wellbeing try to shift the focus to the here and now. Today mum is safe. Today mum is loved etc
Makes sense to point dad towards LPA claiming attendance allowance and Council Tax disregard etc
Drop a casserole for the freezer sometimes.
Keep posting here too.
I also saw a counsellor in the early days.
I am sorry this has come to you so young.
Find chinks if joy in each day x

 

[karaokePete]

Hello and welcome @Hannahb99

You have come to the right place as there is vast collective knowledge and experience here. Take a look around the vast site and ask any questions you may have.

If you click on the following link it will take you to the publications section and you may find useful information there

Print and online publications about dementia: Full list

Here, you will find our full list of publications that you can download or order as printed copies.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

From a statistical point of view only some 50% of people with MCI go on to develop full Dementia. Don't lose all hope just yet.

My wife was diagnosed with MCI and had similar symptoms. As speech/communication was an issue we got a SALT referral (Speech and Language Therapist) and got some good advice there. It may be worth asking your GP about this.

Believe it, or not, music/singing can help. There are many locations where 'Singing for the Brain' sessions are held as a therapy.

I wish you strength.

 

[Watson1]

hi karoke You see i looked at your name and tried to repeat it but i have alzheimers and that simple task failed again nothing serious just the day to day norm the get used to my changes thing. Its hard keeping track of my self. it will be hard getting used to your new mother. get her good help. i go to a memory clinic here in the states.great staff.full testing. medical recommendations etc. they understand. we here all to well understand. so no mater what you wii never be alone. be strong this is not the end of some thing but new unchartered waters. i will keep you in my thoughts as long as i think i can...

 

[karaokePete]

hi karoke You see i looked at your name and tried to repeat it but i have alzheimers and that simple task failed again nothing serious just the day to day norm the get used to my changes thing. Its hard keeping track of my self. it will be hard getting used to your new mother. get her good help. i go to a memory clinic here in the states.great staff.full testing. medical recommendations etc. they understand. we here all to well understand. so no mater what you wii never be alone. be strong this is not the end of some thing but new unchartered waters. i will keep you in my thoughts as long as i think i can...

Hello @Watson1. I think your well wishes were directed more towards @Hannahb99 so I hope she sees them - they are very well founded.

As to myself, I care for my wife and my name is Pete. We live in Ireland. I like to sing so I used to take my wife to karaoke bars until she got to the point where she wasn't able for such things. That's why I gave myself the forum name KaraokePete when I joined.

I hope you continue to do well and are able to keep posting as your insight will be valuable to others in their time of need.