1. SugaNooNoo

    SugaNooNoo New member

    Sep 15, 2019
    1
    Hi
    I'm not sure if anyone can help me please, but it's worth a shot.
    It's a complicated story.
    My MIL passed away Nov 2018 following her 3 year battle with dementia, it was heartbreaking seeing her decline with this awful disease. As I lost my aunt 3 years ago who I helped care for until the end of her life.
    My MIL made her will before she was diagnosed. When she was given diagnosis my husband and his brother where given POA and executors of the will.
    Sadly my husband became ill in Jan 2017. Alot of hospital Dr's visits they coukdnt find out what was wrong with him, until the day after his mum died he went back into hospital a new one where we were given the news I had been dreading for the past year watching him deteriat3 and noone listening to me that he had cancer and was now in organ failure he never left the hospital, and died 10 days after his mum.
    He kept asking for his dad and brother to visit him so he could speak to them and ask that they do the right thing by him and his mums wishes and that his share of her estate go to look after our children. They never visited
    When he died I asked if they wanted a copy of death cert for family records which they declined.
    A week after his death his dad contacted me and asked if he could have a copy of the certificate, as he had been to the solicitors to execute his mums will but the solicitor had asked for a copy of my husband cert.
    Time went on then in Jan I was contacted by my husband solicitor asking if I knew were the will for his mum was up too as he had left instructions with his solicitor that in the event he should die that he was to ensure his mother's wishes were carried out and passed onto the children.
    I didn't feel Comfortable asking his family as they are very private and wouldn't tell me anyway, he told me he could write to her solicitor asking for details which i asked him to hold off with, as the last thing I wanted was them thinking I was digging at her estate to be Frank, part of me didn't want to know and let them do what they wanted, time has passed his solicitor has chased me up on writing to the solicitor, I decided I'd ring their solicitor explain the situation and see if they could tell me anything without his solicitor getting involved.
    In the meantime his solicitor couldn't understsnd why 11 months on and the will has not finished probate
    I recieved a call from their solicitor office to inform me that they were not handling the estate, and that his dad and brother had retracted the will from the solicitor as they would deal with probate etc themselves.
    Now 8 know that they would not put themselves out by processing paperwork etc, they coukdnt even organise the funerals I had to do it
    My gut tells me they have took the will and done nothing with it hidden it away as if it didn't exist and money has gone to the brother.
    My question is does a solicitor keep a copy of a will? Also do they notify the court that the family are dealing with probate, I find it hard to think that their is no legality if a will is not done through a solicitor and the trust is given to the family tjay they will follow her wishes.
    Everytime I think let it go I can hear my husband in my head saying you promised me you would see this through because he didn't trust the brother and he didn't have a great relationship with dad, but was his mummy's boy.
    One thing which was mentinoned a hike back to our son who is 9, he commented about winning the lottery when my husband dad said don't worry when your 18 it will be like winning the lottery but if I die before then it will be sooner, he asked what do you mean grandad and he just laughed and looked at me I said ii don't know babe.
    They never visit the children since loosing their dad aswell as nan, my husband also asked me to promise that I wasn't to be running back and too to them with the kids as they never made an effort when he was alive it was always us, but i felt sorry for them and was visiting twice a week then the 2 years of caring for husband family working full time, I was also looking after my nan and grandad taking them out each day grandad has alzrihmers heartbreaking as he is more like a dad to me I had to. Stop helping them I had nothing left to give anyone and the death of his mum then him caught up with me and was diagnosed recently with PTSD and a breakdown. I could easily forget about it and think they have to live with themselves but then I feel as though I'm letting my husband down by not honouring his wishes.
    I really don't kniw what to do next, if I ask them direct they will say its none of my business I really don't know
    Sorry for the long post and apologies if I've rambled
    Thankyou in advance for reading
     
  2. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,077
    Yorkshire
    hello @SugaNooNoo
    a warm welcome to DTP
    such a sad time for you, my condolences

    I really do think you'd be wise to allow your own solicitor to deal with all this ... the solicitor will know what can be done and how, and will be a buffer between you and your husband's family
    and personally, yes I would pursue the matter ... wills are important documents and both your husband's and his mother's wills should be acted upon to respect their wishes and carry out their legal instructions
     
  3. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    891
    Male
    North West
    #3 Palerider, Sep 15, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2019
    I agree with Shedrech. It is daunting to deal with this but your solicitor is the best person, let them take over as wills generally are kept if written by a solicitor in their safe or vault, and no one should recieve a copy only the executor for the purposes of closing matters down. Exceutors have a legal duty to carry out the will, if not they can be prosecuted, and if it was written by a solicitors firm they will have a copy.
     
  4. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,776
    Salford
  5. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    891
    Male
    North West
  6. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    891
    Male
    North West
    Just tried it, it doesn't work. Dads will went to probate in 2015 -no record
     
  7. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,077
    Yorkshire
    it has my dad's who died this year
     
  8. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,776
    Salford
    Did he did intestate?
    K
     
  9. charlie10

    charlie10 Registered User

    Dec 20, 2018
    330
    @Palerider, just looked up my mum (2001) and she's not there......but I think she died intestate, everything just went to dad
     
  10. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    891
    Male
    North West
    No he left a will at the solicitors. Not sure why its not there, unless its because mum is still alive
     
  11. Ludlow

    Ludlow Registered User

    Jul 20, 2016
    108
    SE England
    I think that if the estate is under a certain amount, probate is not required, and if any property was jointly with your mum then that may well be the case - unless he was lucky enough to have hundreds of thousands in solely owned assets!
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.