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Finding a care home that can cope with inappropriate challenging behaviour


New member
Jul 9, 2020
My father is in a dementia care home in Hampshire and they have just advised me that they cannot keep him as he is displaying inappropriate challenging behaviour. I need to find another care home asap as close to Winchester as possible. Can anyone suggest anywhere?


Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
Hi @suehc and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. This website might help in your search. Have you had any support from the mental health team, as they might be able to advise.
When contacting home make the situation very clear. You don't want the same thing happening again.
I'm sure people who've been in this position will be along with their input very shortly.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hello @suehc Welcome to Dementia Talking Point.

I find it ludicrous any dementia registered care home cannot manage challenging behavoiour when it is known so many people with dementia may get to a stage when they have little or no insight or control over how they react in certain situations.

I understand you would not want your father to stay in a home where he is not wanted but I would still try to have a meeting with the manager and persuade them the reputation of their home would only benefit if they were able to be more accepting of your father if the home really is registered for dementia.

My husband had challenging behaviour and one agency decided he needed two home carers in order to manage him when one carer had problems. A friend of mine suggested I ask the agency to consider if the problem could have been because the carer did not have the qualities to manage a person with dementia. This proved to be the case when a different carer was much more successful with him.

Unfortunately we are not allowed to recommend care homes on the forum. This is because everyone has different needs and staff changes can affect the ethos of the homes.

If you are happy with the home I would try to see if the management could adopt a more sympathetic attitude to your father knowing how confusing a change of homes would be for him.

If you are unhappy with the home try to find somewhere better by browsing the CQC reports on care homes in your area.

Please post an update if you can. Good luck.


Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
The homes are out there. When looking for The Banjoman I was told by one Dementia nursing home that one floor was kept exclusively for gentlemen with inappropriate behaviour!
I must confirm that he was NOT like that!


Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
You may find a care home with an "EMI" or Elderly Mental Illness Unit is better. I agree, though, good to talk to the manager openly about the issues.
We have been very lucky that Mummys home has a dementia wing, and they deal very well with her "ASBO" behaviour - kicking, biting, spitting etc during personal care. Staff are very patient with her and we have tried various drug therapies, not much success there.


Registered User
May 21, 2018
Hello @suehc . I had to move my mum two years ago, as she was too aggressive for the first care-home to cope. It's a nasty shock when this happens. As @Sarasa mentions, https://www.carehome.co.uk/ is a good place to start. There is a pull down menu under the first search box called "more search options" so that you can narrow your search down to homes with specific caring abilities including "challenging behaviour". It's not much fun having to do this and I feel for you but you will hopefully be able to find somewhere which will suit your Dad better, with staff who are trained to look after him. I do agree with @Grannie G that it's a poor show by the current care-home but I assume they have tried their best with medication and other techniques.

It's all difficult at the moment, not being able to visit potential homes but you should get a good feel for the place by speaking to the manager. Keep posting for support. It's tricky stuff. I assume your Dad is self-funding?


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
I agree that its pretty bad that care homes specifically for people with dementia wont accept the more challenging behaviour, but it seems to be increasingly the case that they only want the early, easy stages of dementia and then when they get to a certain stage, they give notice.

Look for somewhere that says they accept challanging behaviour and when you speak to the manager be brutally honest about your dad and ask them how they would manage it - woolly answers probably mean that they dont have the experience. Also, ask them what sort of behaviour they would not accept, which will give you an idea of what they will manage.