A while ago I posted on the forums about concerns for my mum's memory. Over the past months she has gone through the memory clinics, CT scan, and now a final diagnosis that she has mild alzheimers. It all seems a little surreal as on a day to day basis she seems generally the same as she was before, albeit with the memory problems, but I guess with the scan there can be no doubt about the diagnosis.
Obviously though, now we have the diagnosis, I am keen to know what needs to be done, if anything, at this stage to support her and my dad.
I tried to have a conversation with them both at the weekend, as, although it is easier for me to just discuss things with dad, I don't want mum to think I am talking about her behind her back.
The conversation didn't go as well as I hoped. Mum insisted that the scan showed deterioration but that it was only the same as anyone else her age would probably have, nothing unusual. I thought though that the brain showed very differently for people with alzheimers. Am I correct? Otherwise how have they decided it is alzheimers?
Her reaction concerned me as it made me wonder whether she really understands the situation or is she just trying to ignore the reality? She really got quite angry at the suggestion that it was more than just an age issue.
She also insisted that she is not about to start putting arrangements in place, like wills (they have a will).
The consultant has put her on medication although, I am not sure exactly what it is (Mum said it was just more vitamins), Dad confirmed it was for the Alzheimers. She likes to have a few glasses of wine most days. Should she be reducing her drinking?
I'm so worried now about what the future may bring, particularly as my dad is only in the position to support her up to a certain point (he is in a wheelchair). I don't want to upset her (or my dad) by pushing anything on them, but having read various posts on this forum I know that there are certain issues that should be dealt with as soon as possible, POA in particular.
Do you think it is acceptable to just discuss things with Dad and then let him have the conversations with my mum? I don't want him to think that I'm just leaving it up to him but at the same time I think my involvement may just create anger and resentment with mum. But then what do I do if he doesn't manage to persuade her? My husband says I can only just try and guide them what to do and if they choose to ignore me then that is their decision. But this is such a difficult thing to do with a view that sometime in the future things could be so much more difficult.
I would be really grateful for any opinions of how people have dealt with these early stages without causing huge upset.
Thank you in advance
Obviously though, now we have the diagnosis, I am keen to know what needs to be done, if anything, at this stage to support her and my dad.
I tried to have a conversation with them both at the weekend, as, although it is easier for me to just discuss things with dad, I don't want mum to think I am talking about her behind her back.
The conversation didn't go as well as I hoped. Mum insisted that the scan showed deterioration but that it was only the same as anyone else her age would probably have, nothing unusual. I thought though that the brain showed very differently for people with alzheimers. Am I correct? Otherwise how have they decided it is alzheimers?
Her reaction concerned me as it made me wonder whether she really understands the situation or is she just trying to ignore the reality? She really got quite angry at the suggestion that it was more than just an age issue.
She also insisted that she is not about to start putting arrangements in place, like wills (they have a will).
The consultant has put her on medication although, I am not sure exactly what it is (Mum said it was just more vitamins), Dad confirmed it was for the Alzheimers. She likes to have a few glasses of wine most days. Should she be reducing her drinking?
I'm so worried now about what the future may bring, particularly as my dad is only in the position to support her up to a certain point (he is in a wheelchair). I don't want to upset her (or my dad) by pushing anything on them, but having read various posts on this forum I know that there are certain issues that should be dealt with as soon as possible, POA in particular.
Do you think it is acceptable to just discuss things with Dad and then let him have the conversations with my mum? I don't want him to think that I'm just leaving it up to him but at the same time I think my involvement may just create anger and resentment with mum. But then what do I do if he doesn't manage to persuade her? My husband says I can only just try and guide them what to do and if they choose to ignore me then that is their decision. But this is such a difficult thing to do with a view that sometime in the future things could be so much more difficult.
I would be really grateful for any opinions of how people have dealt with these early stages without causing huge upset.
Thank you in advance