Hello everyone,have had a traumatic couple of days,yesterday my dear husband entered a Nursing Home,and I am feeling at rock bottom, lonely guilty and every emotion possible. Absolutely devastated . I know I could not cope. Anymore,and family members have been telling me I had to make that decision, but after 64 years of marriage it wasn't easy, it feels like it have lost half of me ,,
Final feelings
- Thread starter petromany
- Start date
64 years is a very long time. please don't feel guilty I can only imagine how you feel
much support
sarah
Oh Petromany I feel so sorry for you. I know this feels like the end of the world but I'm sure you've done the right thing - for both of you.
You won't be able to see this yet, but when you've had time to come to terms with things and hopefully the sadness has worn off a little, I hope you will be able to see the positive side of things. You will be able to spend as much time as you want with your husband without all the stresses and strains of caring for him. It may be that you get some support and friendships from his carers and the other relatives.
try to take things one step at a time. We're all here for you if you need to talk
Take care xx
You won't be able to see this yet, but when you've had time to come to terms with things and hopefully the sadness has worn off a little, I hope you will be able to see the positive side of things. You will be able to spend as much time as you want with your husband without all the stresses and strains of caring for him. It may be that you get some support and friendships from his carers and the other relatives.
try to take things one step at a time. We're all here for you if you need to talk
Take care xx
Hugs to you Petromany! After 64 years of marriage, I am assuming that you must be quite elderly yourself? Hopefully, now you will have quality time with your husband, and not all the stress and exhaustion that you must have had trying to take care of him yourself. Goodness, people keep telling me that I really should be thinking about transferring my husband to a nursing home, because I'm getting so worn down and exhausted - and I'm 30 years younger than him! I simply can't imagine how someone also in their late 70s/early 80s could even begin to cope with the physical work of caring - the lifting, the laundry, even I find having to hold his hand and lead him around when we are out - it creates a physical strain in my shoulder. Blessings to you. You have done a fantastic job as long as you could, and now you are still taking the very best care of your husband, by ensuring he is cared for well.
I hear you Petromany
It's never easy making this decision-whether it involves spouse/partner/parent or even child.
All I can say to you is take your time and your relationship with your Husband will continue.
My Husband is in a CH and we've only been together for 22 years and yes it hurts, and yes I cry so I can only try to imagine how you must feel.
Hopefully you will build up a relationship with the carers and get into a bit of a routine with visiting. Is your Husband's NH fairly close to you?
Take care
Lyn T
Hi Petromany, I am so sorry for your situation, having seen how it has made my Dad feel, you have my utmost sympathy. As others have said you have nothing to feel guilty about, you have done the best thing for your husband and yourself. Sending hugs(()) xx
Ange
I can only echo what everyone else has said, petromany. I'm so very sorry. This disease is so cruel. My heart goes out to you. Much love xx
So sorry it must be very difficult for you especially after being together for so long. No stage in this dreadful illness is easy but you have made the right decision. Now you can have quality time with your husband without all the stress. Xxx
Hi petromany im going through the same thing at the moment its hard i know im still crying married 50yrs this year so yes i feel as guilty as sin but i know in my heart that i cant care for him any longer as im i'll myself so just keep your chin up and i find being round my own family with there children makes life a little easyier hugs for uou ive had plenty off my nieces good luck and keep posting i found doing this really helped me xx
Sent from my GT-N7000 using Talking Point mobile app
Sent from my GT-N7000 using Talking Point mobile app
I've been where you are and felt what you are feeling The only difference is that my husband didn't go to a nursing home from our home - I wasn't allowed the chance to carry on caring - he went directly from hospital after 8 months there.
We 'celerated' our golden Wedding 2 months after he went there - or rather didn't!
So I can imagine the heartache you are going through after so much longer together.
The guilt doesn't go away but you get used to living with it and, as others have said above, you get to know his new family as best you can and visit as often as you can to remain part of his new life. It isn't the same but it's all we can hope for. Best wishes. x
Sympathy to you too Tinytim. x
We 'celerated' our golden Wedding 2 months after he went there - or rather didn't!
So I can imagine the heartache you are going through after so much longer together.
The guilt doesn't go away but you get used to living with it and, as others have said above, you get to know his new family as best you can and visit as often as you can to remain part of his new life. It isn't the same but it's all we can hope for. Best wishes. x
Sympathy to you too Tinytim. x
I am so sorry to hear of your news, and sympathise so much. What a wonderful achievement to have coped for so long and to have been married for 64 years. No wonder you are feeling alone. God Bless You and your husband.
