** Trigger warning ***
*Finacial abuse* *Neglect* *toxic aunt*
Hi I'm looking for any useful pointers , if anyone has been in a similar situation. Where a relative they cared for has passed, away and they had a joint bank account .My dad has a joint account with his sister-
His sister refuses, to discuss anything with me about arrangements, pertaining to dad's affairs or funeral arrangements, poor hygiene conditions of dad and also his home .
I have tried to bring up the topic of dad's affair knowing they share a joint account for over a decade & l am met with silence.
Dad communicates, with me that all the money in the account is his .l also know he is in receipt of disability benefits. I am deeply hurt , at the silence act that she is going on with, and her continual refusal to discuss dad's health needs and the practical things he need . I have only known the Aunt exists, since the age of 16
The aunt most recently has , said that she is not able to make payments from the joint account. Yet the account is in her name ,with the bank confirming the money passes to her if my dad dies.
The requests l have made , are for competent non abusive carer ,and for general cleaners of the property , as well as for personal household things .
Last report Adult services, said dad was smelling of urine , & that the fridge was unclean .
When l have addressed , these concerns with the carer she becomes verbally agressive and prods and pokes , physically.
I now avoid her and visit my ,dad on her days off.
also dad's abusive carer also was shouting saying people , can smell urine on her it's a mess.
I found it difficult to get information, on how this stands should my dad pass away before his sister . I Contacted the bank , they were not much help. I don't have lasting power of Attorney.As it stands it's resulting in my dad's assets , being given to his sister as far as their joint bank account stands. Despite dad's, cognitive issues and dementia.
Adult services are involved, and l don't believe dad wants the aunt having that money since he said to me it's for his two children yet there is no will.
My main concern is paying for funeral arrangements , since the death certificate is released to children.Dad has adequate funds , for his needs. But getting his consent , is hugely distressing and not always, possible.
However the toxic aunt dad's sister has dad's money.l have also asked for the aunt to be removed, from GP records and reported these, incidents to them.Which they have done . And been a source of support.
My concerns are also , around the "carer" who likes to borrow money from dad. Has a history of shouting , and demanding more - money l offered to make payment via bank , to settle disputes but she refuses.
I have not done anything to the Aunt. I have no support from anyone, outside of Samaritans , as the half sibling my dad's son . I have no relationship with him.
Thanks for any replies , and since this is a sensitive topic. l kindly ask that you don't reply if you are not going, through or have not experienced a similar situation.
Thanks again for reading
*Finacial abuse* *Neglect* *toxic aunt*
Hi I'm looking for any useful pointers , if anyone has been in a similar situation. Where a relative they cared for has passed, away and they had a joint bank account .My dad has a joint account with his sister-
His sister refuses, to discuss anything with me about arrangements, pertaining to dad's affairs or funeral arrangements, poor hygiene conditions of dad and also his home .
I have tried to bring up the topic of dad's affair knowing they share a joint account for over a decade & l am met with silence.
Dad communicates, with me that all the money in the account is his .l also know he is in receipt of disability benefits. I am deeply hurt , at the silence act that she is going on with, and her continual refusal to discuss dad's health needs and the practical things he need . I have only known the Aunt exists, since the age of 16
The aunt most recently has , said that she is not able to make payments from the joint account. Yet the account is in her name ,with the bank confirming the money passes to her if my dad dies.
The requests l have made , are for competent non abusive carer ,and for general cleaners of the property , as well as for personal household things .
Last report Adult services, said dad was smelling of urine , & that the fridge was unclean .
When l have addressed , these concerns with the carer she becomes verbally agressive and prods and pokes , physically.
I now avoid her and visit my ,dad on her days off.
also dad's abusive carer also was shouting saying people , can smell urine on her it's a mess.
I found it difficult to get information, on how this stands should my dad pass away before his sister . I Contacted the bank , they were not much help. I don't have lasting power of Attorney.As it stands it's resulting in my dad's assets , being given to his sister as far as their joint bank account stands. Despite dad's, cognitive issues and dementia.
Adult services are involved, and l don't believe dad wants the aunt having that money since he said to me it's for his two children yet there is no will.
My main concern is paying for funeral arrangements , since the death certificate is released to children.Dad has adequate funds , for his needs. But getting his consent , is hugely distressing and not always, possible.
However the toxic aunt dad's sister has dad's money.l have also asked for the aunt to be removed, from GP records and reported these, incidents to them.Which they have done . And been a source of support.
My concerns are also , around the "carer" who likes to borrow money from dad. Has a history of shouting , and demanding more - money l offered to make payment via bank , to settle disputes but she refuses.
I have not done anything to the Aunt. I have no support from anyone, outside of Samaritans , as the half sibling my dad's son . I have no relationship with him.
Thanks for any replies , and since this is a sensitive topic. l kindly ask that you don't reply if you are not going, through or have not experienced a similar situation.
Thanks again for reading
