Feeling so drained

[Trace2012]

I'm not having a moan just feeling so drained, AD and dementia affects everyone concerned, i feel so stressed all the time, its changed not only my mam but its changed me as a person, my kids have been affected aswell, this is probably the beggining of a very hard road i must take
With mam, and I'm dreading it, i think i may be half way through, as my mam is white bad very quik, already on anti-phycotics and is the most suspicious i have seen her yet, hopefully these drugs work, and very soon, as i dont want this to change
Me and the boys too much, i can cope with everything else but not these hallucinations and delusions, its getting to me


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[marionq]

If you don't think the Risperedone is working Trace then get back to the GP as there may be something else they can try.

 

[Trace2012]

Its only 4 days Marion, im being too impatient, just really hard and i
Want a bit if peace for me and the boys, selfish it may be but im sorry, i also hate to see my mam to be in such a tormented state, everything is such a conspiracy with her! Even to slugs in the garden "they have put them there" its a terrible
Illness xxx


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[marionq]

I really do feel your pain. Your Mum is lost to this illness and it is beyond frustrating to watch the deterioration and to live in the midst of all this craziness. I am about to take my newspaper and walk down to a certain coffee shop just to clear my head and try to get a moments normality. I am becoming a headache pill junkie.

 

[Trace2012]

Yea i have noticed im taking a lot of pills for headaches lately, nots a massive amount just more than i used to, at least once a day sumtimes twice! Enjoy ur paper, i now have to take mam shopping! Always a very fun trip haha xx


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[Tin]

Feel really sorry, hope it all changes soon, its all so hard and seems never ending. I've become a bit of a pain killing pill popper, have an old neck injury that sometimes flares up and they help me sleep! Take care of yourself.

 

[Stressed Out]

I feel for you too you are not alone in your thoughts this is a great forum to have a rant & rage, like you & many others I feel drained & just fed up with it all.

Regarding the pills my Mum was hallucinating like crazy many years ago they put her on Olanzapine which really helped I always knew when she had stopped taking them.

Don't feel guilty about wanting some me time with the family you deserve it, what I'd give for a long holiday right now

Take care
x

 

[SarahL]

It is absolutely unrelenting. I feel your pain and heartache and exhaustion. I am just about to post about something that is upsetting me so much. I hope you get some respite. My mum is not on any medication and wouldn't take it anyway so I cannot advise unfortunately. Sarah

 

[count2ten]

Its only 4 days Marion, im being too impatient, just really hard and i
Want a bit if peace for me and the boys, selfish it may be but im sorry, i also hate to see my mam to be in such a tormented state, everything is such a conspiracy with her! Even to slugs in the garden "they have put them there" its a terrible
Illness xxx


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Torment is the word - for everyone! My mother is 87, has vascular dementia probably for the past 5 years, lives alone - she was given antipsychotics after developing delusions, paranoia, anxiety. They take about a week to start working. You have to hope the so called professionals know what they're doing. It's also very hit and miss depending on where you live. These drugs can make dementia a lot worse, I wasn't told this, just things I have found out from the internet and forums etc. She took them for about 4 months and it was good to see her calm and the anxiety and torment gone - then I noticed that her memory, cognition, mobility all plummeted, so I asked them to stop giving them to her. She was ok for a couple of months before the demons returned and her anxiety went off the scale, so she is back on them again, although this time they are not working as well as before. She now has different "people" in the house, people are stealing things from her, she hears choirs singing to her all night and she wants to "go home". I don't think the doctors really take the time to look at the individual's needs - they just seem to prescribe with a blanket approach, try this, try that etc. I am having to spend more time with her making sure she is ok. She has carers but they do the very minimum so I am basically running her household as well as mine to try and make sure she is safe, well fed and looked after. I am being urged to "put her in a home" - and I wonder if this would be best for her, she would have company all day and maybe could come off these awful drugs. Not sure how long I can keep this up, I am now 60 and feeling very old and tired, although I've known people (usually daughters) who are doing this in their 70's. My relationships have come under a lot of strain (and scrutiny - one positive aspect of this is that you get to find sort out the good and the not so good people in your life). - It doesn't help either that I've never had a very good relationship with her, so there's resentment and tension on both sides. It can make you feel very beaten and hopeless at times.

 

[Stressed Out]

Hi count2ten

From experience I can relate to most of what you say feeling old & tired and the resentment I feel that too. I found that the pills really helped but like you say the mobility gets worse not to mention eye site on several occasions she has fallen resulting in some very nasty injuries which took months to heal.

When is the right time to put them in a home? The decision was made for us I think when the O.T said stairs was out of the question & requires 24/7 care. Not an easy decision to make I know, she loves the activities which surprised me & the food. You have to give them time to settle in and you beat yourself up with guilt, but it was the RIGHT decision. Till this day she is still on the pills.

It does take some of the pressure off, if I am still doing it my 70's god help me!!

Fat chance of having a peaceful relaxing retirement...lol

 

[CollegeGirl]

I just wanted to say that you're certainly not selfish for wanting a peaceful life for you and your children. That's something I crave, peace and quiet, and peace of mind especially. Very hard to achieve when you throw dementia into the mix.

xxx

 

[Trace2012]

Thank u everyone, i feel so happy to have this forum to come to when I'm feeling bad xxxx


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[count2ten]

Hi count2ten

From experience I can relate to most of what you say feeling old & tired and the resentment I feel that too. I found that the pills really helped but like you say the mobility gets worse not to mention eye site on several occasions she has fallen resulting in some very nasty injuries which took months to heal.

When is the right time to put them in a home? The decision was made for us I think when the O.T said stairs was out of the question & requires 24/7 care. Not an easy decision to make I know, she loves the activities which surprised me & the food. You have to give them time to settle in and you beat yourself up with guilt, but it was the RIGHT decision. Till this day she is still on the pills.

It does take some of the pressure off, if I am still doing it my 70's god help me!!

Fat chance of having a peaceful relaxing retirement...lol

Hello Stressed Out - I'm sure my mother would thrive in the right type of care home - something with a lot of activities and good food sounds good. She seems very depressed at the moment, I just wish the doctors would address this first instead of waiting until she is completely paranoid and then throwing these toxic drugs at her. She's had a bad reaction to a new drug which completely zoned her out for two days - she could hardly walk or talk, and I was worried she would have a fall so I have been spending more time with her. I have told the carers not to give her any more of these pills . The weather also has a huge effect on this illness - yesterday I felt like bundling her into the car and just driving off to find to some sun to cheer her up! Would the care culture be any better in Southern Spain or Greece? Has anyone every done this, taken their elderly parents to live out their last years in a warm sunny country? But I wonder how far I would get with her before they launch another manhunt across Europe and throw me in jail!

 

[marionq]

Count2ten other countries have the same problems. My Spanish neighbour used to drive down to her holiday home at the weekends from Madrid to get away from her MIL who screamed all night long with dementia. She would be in tears telling me how awful it was just like the rest of us on TP. At the time I didn't think I would be joining the club!

 

[count2ten]

Count2ten other countries have the same problems. My Spanish neighbour used to drive down to her holiday home at the weekends from Madrid to get away from her MIL who screamed all night long with dementia. She would be in tears telling me how awful it was just like the rest of us on TP. At the time I didn't think I would be joining the club!

Hi Marionq - Oh well, another brilliant idea down the drain! Maybe I should just drive off into the sunset by myself - how would that work out?! The rest of my family would have her in a care home so quick she wouldn't know what had hit her. It's not like I want them all to do much - just try and support me to support her. They can't understand that because we had such a difficult relationship why I carry on taking care of her. I do question myself a lot, and I know it's a big chunk of guilt and sense of responsibility, but also I think she deserves a bit more than "oh well, can't be doing with this anymore, it's off to the care home you go". Makes you wonder who will be there for us if we need it later on!

 

[rogibob]

and me

Hi count2ten

From experience I can relate to most of what you say feeling old & tired and the resentment I feel that too. I found that the pills really helped but like you say the mobility gets worse not to mention eye site on several occasions she has fallen resulting in some very nasty injuries which took months to heal.

When is the right time to put them in a home? The decision was made for us I think when the O.T said stairs was out of the question & requires 24/7 care. Not an easy decision to make I know, she loves the activities which surprised me & the food. You have to give them time to settle in and you beat yourself up with guilt, but it was the RIGHT decision. Till this day she is still on the pills.

It does take some of the pressure off, if I am still doing it my 70's god help me!!

Fat chance of having a peaceful relaxing retirement...lol

I thought it was just me,i need a face lift I look so old and im only 64 ha ha

 

[count2ten]

I thought it was just me,i need a face lift I look so old and im only 64 ha ha

Do you think social services will see this as a "need" !

 

[Trace2012]

Do you think social services will see this as a "need" !

Haha i need other body parts lifted aswell? Hope they do haha


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