1. June the spoon

    June the spoon Registered User

    Oct 18, 2015
    I am having difficulties at the moment, my husband is feeling very sad, he seems to be talking to people he is seeing around the house gets angry at reflections at night and shouts. At them to get away he also does that with mirrors, I close the curtains as soon as it gets dark, but he has started looking thru them. He paces all the time, I started going to bed as early as 7 some nights, but now he has started getting out of bed moving the things about making and remaking his bed, so I am now trying to stay up as long as I canc with him pacing, it seems easier, than in the bedroom, worked last night. He says people are accusing him of things, can't get to the bottom of this. Here straightens cushions, passing them from one settee to the other then they can finish up in different parts of the room on the floor he is also pushing the furniture back, I am sorry if this seems mixed up and rambling, but I have attempted a few time to right something so I have just let it go oh he wasn't going to go to day care today, he told the carer he didn't want to go because he is sad, he always wants to be going out I try to take him out or others everyday, Tuesday morning afternoon and early evening and still he was saying so where are we going then, that was a really unsettled night fe
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Hello June

    Have you asked for any help with managing your husband`s behaviour? It certainly seems as if you could do with some.

    I believe this behaviour is not unusual but there may be ways of calming your husband`s restlessness which will make it easier for you to manage.

    My husband`s doctor advised me to keep as much light in the house as possible, especially in the winter. It didn`t help much for us but it might help for you.

    Perhaps your husband keeps asking where you are going when you take him out because perhaps he just can`t remember or needs reassurance. Maybe he can`t picture where you will be taking him which might make him more anxious.

    Please ask your doctor if your husband can be referred to a CPN , a Community Psychiatric Nurse. They are trained to help with challenging behaviour. Mine was a godsend.
  3. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    Morning June the spoon
    I recognise this behaviour from when dad was at home. I didn't live with him but would often arrive in the morning to find furniture had been moved around - some of it rather heavy - and he also turned off sockets and pulled out plugs (which I covered over with white paper so his attention wasn't drawn to them). He also did some moving during the day, but mostly at night.
    He felt he was putting things in a better order or better place. Or he was trying to 'get things right'. I think he felt in himself that something was wrong, couldn't work out what it was so fixed on something concrete he could do, which was moving things. Sadly, he often put the furniture in rather awkward places, not better at all - pushed against walls, turned the wrong way, all lined up. I put everything back when he wasn't looking as actually he was used to where things were and during the day needed them to be in normal places.
    He also checked rooms, that windows were closed (though that turned into opening them) and everything was off and in the right place - and especially the he 'had done everything'. The things we all do before going to bed but because he didn't remember doing them, repeating this.
    He was also confused by reflections, thought car lights were on (sun reflecting in them) and electrical equipment was on - also couldn't accept the standby lights meant 'off' so I covered those too.
    I know many people don't like them but light net curtains at windows will let in light but stop reflections. Take down or cover mirrors.
    Grannie G's idea of having as many light son as possible might help - maybe try some of those daylight bulbs.
    Definitely contact GP and CPN is a good idea (I didn't know about them for dad). Dad did become more anxious and I think that's when he was started on an anti-depressant which helped him. It would be a real shame for him to keep missing day care - and you need some time for yourself.
  4. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    I don't have these sort of problems June, so can't really advise. It does sound exhausting for you though. I do hope you can get the help you both need so desperately.
  5. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    Definitely sounds a candidate for tweaked medication. Anxiety like this is often treated with Trazadone which has totally changed my husband's restless behaviour. The CPN gradually increased it over a period of months on the advice of the consultant. Presently we are having the calmest period in three years. You cannot do this without help. Phone up and ask for a visit.
  6. June the spoon

    June the spoon Registered User

    Oct 18, 2015
    Thankyou all

    Thank you all for the comments and caring, I have today spoken to the clinical nurse from the memory clinic, he is visiting us on Monday, I will also try to get an appointment with the doctor of my choice which is not until Monday xxx
  7. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    June the spoon

    Good luck. hope all goes well, x
  8. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    June, hope you can get some help. Bernard did very similar things with cushions, moving them from one place to another usually to make a bed as he didn't remember that he had a bed in his bedroom, and trying to straighten the throw on the settee, or take all the tie-on cushion pads off the dining chairs. x

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point

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