Feeling pretty positive

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by mel, Oct 12, 2006.

  1. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi All
    haven't posted for a while.....I've been kept busy...........
    Well....its taken 6 months to get to this stage but things are looking up!
    3 or so weeks ago I still hadn't heard from Mental Health so I phoned to see what was happening.....was told mum hadn't been allocated a support worker but they'd "look into it" and phone me back......
    Half an hour later they say yes mum has been assigned a SW and his name is Gary but he's not around today....
    Next day someone else phones and says he's mums SW and arranges to come and see us the following week.....
    I liked him as soon as I saw him....he stayed for 1.5 hours and went through everything with us.....day care,mental health assessments,respite,help with personal care.....
    Mum had been assigned a social worker who specialised in older people in general when she first moved in with us and has now been referred to the specialist mental health team.....which is where,I believe ,she should have been referred to in the first place.....but hey....I'm splitting hairs now!!!
    So after 6 months I have 2 weeks respite well and truly booked starting next Wednesday 18th October( I had requested this previously but not had it confirmed) and we're going away!!!!......me, husband,3 kids....can't wait!!!!
    Not only that...mums moving up the waiting list for daycare 1 or two days per week, SW has referred us to Crossroads and another sitting agency.....life looks positively rosy!!!
    And....I've also arranged for 4 days respite care every 6 weeks so we can all have a family weekend now and again(going in Thursday...out Monday).I've booked this up until April next year!!!
    Now....I'm a worrier.....so I spent a lot of time worrying about 2 weeks respite....I felt cruel" putting her in"....I saw it as locking her away for 2 weeks....confused,in a place she doesn't know,with people she doesn't know,feeling lost and frightened......oh how I've agonised over this one....
    Then the unthinkable happened....last Wednesday I took mum her first cuppa of the day......I thought she was dead....I couldn't wake her...she was warm but totally unresponsive....i called the ambulance by which time I'd got her to open a rather glazed eye....she was having a diabetic hypo.....one thing puzzled me.....how can someone who is virtually unconscious still manage to give the paramedic a hefty right hook when they were trying to give her a glucose injection:eek: :eek: ....mum did:rolleyes: !!!
    Anyway they admitted her to hospital where she spent 3 days and 2 nights.....I was so worried ....I was with her there from 9am to 4pm.....(she'd gone back to "normal" within an hour....) ...I just didn't want to leave her there....I was asked to leave........and explained my fears.....mum wanted to come with me but as if i was leaving a child at their first day at school,the nurse took her and let me go.....I felt awful......
    The next morning they said they'd had an eventful night...mum wandering ,pacing,collecting tissues,soap,hiding her notes,"borrowing" another ladies' walking stick etc......but she was fine!!!!....When I visited her it was if I'd just popped out for a minute!!!...Mum was in control of her "hotel"....chatting to the "guests"...generally having a good time!!!
    I was so relieved.........
    Do you think these trials are sent for a reason?.........I can now go away next week with no worries.....I feel as if a tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders........
    ......now....where did I put the passports..........................?:confused:

    love xx
     
  2. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,439
    Hi Wendy

    So nice to click on a post which is so positive - gave me a lift just reading it! You have a lovely time away.

    Jennifer
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,586
    Kent
    Well done Wendy. It seems you`ve been listened to and are going to be getting the treatment your Mum deserves.
    Enjoy yourbreak. Sylvia
     
  4. maudie

    maudie Registered User

    Jul 5, 2006
    10
    Cambridgeshire
    Hi Mel - I too got a lift from your post! And I also had a couple of tears. We are thinking about respite and like you have worried over it tremendously. I feel deep down that it will be best for Mum but its just taking that first step. Anyway, have a super holiday and I know you will come back more relaxed. I had a week (a whole week!) off walking in Madeira last month (my sister looked after Mum) and because I know now that I'm not the only person who can deal with Mum, I have relaxed the reins on myself a little and its made a great difference not only at home but also at work. Mum still lives on her own with two carers going in each day for the princely time of 15 minutes each. Both my sister and I work fulltime and know it won't be too long now before full time nursing home will be required. Sorry I didn't mean to ramble on.... Have a great time.
     
  5. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Wendy

    Have a lovely holiday, you deserve it.

    Kathleen
     
  6. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Wendy,
    Enjoy!
    Love Helen
     
  7. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hi Wend

    Passport is in the top left hand drawer, suitcase is in the wardrobe, bikini is still in the suitcase from last year, suntan lotion is in the cupboard and sunglasses are in the car:cool: ........................now stop worrying and go and enjoy;) ...........and if you find there is any room left in your luggage, just remember that i don't take up a lot of space!:D

    Have a good one!
    Love Alex
     
  8. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    1,213
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Wendy
    I have just come back from a weeks holiday. First break I've had since February 2005. Went away feeling guilty and very worried about leaving Mum and Dad.
    I needn't have worried at all, although Mum was more anxious than normal, everything was OK. I enjoyed the rest and Mum and Dad has now forgotten that I had been away.
    Go enjoy yourself, have well earned rest with your family. Your Mum sounds as though she will love the company in respite
    Have a great time
    Alfjess
     
  9. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    1,157
    #9 dmc, Oct 12, 2006
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2007
    hello wendy,

    in case i dont get the chance just to wish you bon voyage have a great time enjoy !!
     
  10. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hello all
    Thanks for all your replies
    All the offers of help/respite seem to have been a long time coming but now they've arrived its lifted my spirits.....i feel more able to cope in the long term with regular breaks......

    Alex.....passports found.....I'll pass on the bikini......don't want to scare the locals:D :D
    Love xx
     
  11. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    I say scare the locals :eek: and have have fun .

    I also say, that haveing respite is like a shower to the brain :)

    am really please that things are moving forward in care plan for your mum, I also was put on a waiting list for mum to go to AZ day centre .

    That reminds me my passport ran out this mouth , must get around to renewing it or it cost me £90 to get one the same day oh no also was told that the price is going up for passport from this mouth :rolleyes:

    Anyway have a lovely time on your Well deserved Holiday
     
  12. Grandaughter 1

    Grandaughter 1 Registered User

    Jan 17, 2006
    141
    Hampshire
    Hi Wendy,

    That was such a lovely post. It's great that you have everything in place. Have a fantastic holiday:)
     
  13. Libby

    Libby Registered User

    May 20, 2006
    625
    North East
    Hi Wendy

    I haven't posted much recently either, but was really glad to read yours

    So pleased to hear that after the long long wait, you have finally got things moving for your mum and can get away for a well earned family holiday - you certainly deserve it.

    Have a great time.

    Libs
     

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