I haven't returned to Talking Point for over 2 years as I reached a point of pure exhaustion juggling Mum's mixed VasD and Alzheimers, Dad's multiple physical health problems etc. When I look back over the past 8 years, it hardly seems credible that so much has happened but in a cruel stroke of fate, totally unexpected because Dad had had so many physical health problems for so long, Mum suddenly passed away Jan 2018 when a 'sniffle' suddenly turned to sepsis and we lost her after just 4 days of ill-health in hospital. The shock was immense, the loss is immeasurable but I still am thankful that she didn't suffer physically for long, she knew most of the family by face (not always name) and I was able to get the family to come to say goodbye the day she died and me and my sister were with her - in this respect we were lucky and we weren't taken from her by the dementia; she knew we were with her and knew how much she was loved; she still is and I miss her with all my heart. I gave up work 6 months later as I was exhausted, ill and just needed to follow my own neglected dreams after some rest. Dad now has full-time live-in Care for his physical needs (wheelchair bound) and I still visit 4 times a week and care for all his finances, house issues etc and he relies on me emotionally as I have always been there. Sadly, Dad now has VasD and I feel numb; I don't want to think about what lies ahead again; I don't feel I can face it again but I know it isn't anyone's fault and I know we are lucky that a full-time live-in Carer is already in place. But I'm also angry that we are here again; I don't want to feel resentful but I feel like I'm fighting still to get my own life back after the last 8 years and all I can see is those dreams disappearing again. I just want to cry. I'm sorry to put this here but this is one of the few places I can let the mask slip and be honest about how I feel; everyone else just thinks I have this inexhaustible supply of strength and coping. This forum is probably the only place where the true enormity and impact will be understood. Thank you just for reading this.