I’ve posted similarly before but I am very much feeling that I live in a bizarre vacuum where every day is spent on the same treadmill.My partner can no longer communicate or understand me. Even simple instructions which are the same every day are lost on him. Things like…take off your socks,go into the shower,put on your pyjamas seem to mean little. I feel like a sergeant major constantly telling him what to do or not to do. His day consists of getting up mid morning,perhaps a short dog walk,lunch, sleeping all afternoon then he stares mindlessly at the tv. I’m sure nothing registers. There is no conversation and no interest in very much. I think the world is very confusing to him. There is a very blank look in his eyes. I’m at a loss to know how to stimulate him. If anyone comes in he just falls asleep. It all feels so hopeless. This is now coupled with increasing episodes of double incontinence. On Monday he had 3 showers and last week on return from day care it was a case of all clothing in the bin,beyond washing.
I do have day care twice a week for him and a sitter one afternoon for which I’m grateful but it does not mitigate the feelings of despair and loneliness. I feel that I care for him out of a sense of duty but resentment is mounting and it definitely erupts at times. Even doing anything for myself in the free time I have is becoming more of an effort. I just feel so fed up with it all. I wonder if it is reaching the stage where he might actually benefit from 24 hour care. His needs are met physically but emotionally I have no more to give. I go through the motions because right now there is no alternative.
I do have day care twice a week for him and a sitter one afternoon for which I’m grateful but it does not mitigate the feelings of despair and loneliness. I feel that I care for him out of a sense of duty but resentment is mounting and it definitely erupts at times. Even doing anything for myself in the free time I have is becoming more of an effort. I just feel so fed up with it all. I wonder if it is reaching the stage where he might actually benefit from 24 hour care. His needs are met physically but emotionally I have no more to give. I go through the motions because right now there is no alternative.