• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Feeling guilty

nannylondon

Registered User
Apr 7, 2014
2,475
London
Hi my husband has been for respite care for the first time he has had Alzeimers for 8 years and I have been coping most of the time but had a family crisis my little grandson was desperately ill and in intensive care Chris had being getting progressively worse in the last few months and it wasn't till he went into respite that I realised how near the edge I was now he is home I feel I can't cope with his aggression and abuse I know it's not him but this dreadful disease but I am spending part of each day in tears and feel that he was better of in care home
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
WEST SUSSEX
Poor, poor you - nannylondon. Has it come to decision time if only to protect your own health? Such a sad time for you - hope your little grandson is recovering or has recovered. Will be thinking of you WIFE
 

mabbs

Registered User
Dec 1, 2014
238
Lancashire
thinking of you, its a difficult choice one I am also having to make, hubby is in assessment unit, wishing you well, and knowing that there are lots of people here that can give you advice and more importantly support. Take care xxx
 

Amber 3

Registered User
Feb 4, 2015
38
South Devon
I have been advised that I get some respite care for my husband as he is getting more confused and aggressive. It's such a heart rending decision to make but there comes a time when I think the choice is made for us.. Never put yourself at risk.
 

truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
North Somerset
Thinking of you, nannylondon. What do your professionals have to say? As WIFE says, you have to protect yourself and there comes a time when you can't care for him in the way he needs. Then you have to think what is best for him.
 

Quilty

Registered User
Aug 28, 2014
1,051
GLASGOW
Its a very difficult decision but he needs you to stay well even if he is in 24hr care. You can care for him and yourself.
 

nannylondon

Registered User
Apr 7, 2014
2,475
London
Thanks

Poor, poor you - nannylondon. Has it come to decision time if only to protect your own health? Such a sad time for you - hope your little grandson is recovering or has recovered. Will be thinking of you WIFE
Thanks I am going to talk to doctor I know it is maybe time for full time care it is just so hard to face up too my grandson is a lot better he had meningitis unfortunately he had to have an arm amputated but thank God he has pulled through thanks again
 

truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
North Somerset
Your poor grandson. Meningitis is such a terrible disease. What a worry for you all. You are really having such a sad time. Thinking of you.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,963
Kent
Hello nanylondon

I`m sorry you are at the stage of considering permanent residential care, but you know things will not get better and however bad you feel there comes a time when tough decisions need to be made.

In our case, residential care was the best decision I made. My husband settled well and became less aggressive. I was more rested having people to share the caring with me and my visits were a source of pleasure.

What a tragedy for your grandson. Meningitis is such a frightening illness.
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
Norfolk
Feel for you, Grannylondon. I've got a meeting tomorow to start the care process for respite. Hubby currently in hospital.

Really sorry to hear of your Grandson's illness. On top of your own troubles, you now have him on your mind as well. Can't be easy. Thinking of you.
 

CollegeGirl

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
9,522
North East England
I'm so sorry on both counts, nannylondon. What a terrible thing to happen to your grandson, but so thankful for you all that he is recovering.

I also feel for you having reached decision time regarding your husband's care. Wishing you all the best xx