Mum has been in the care home for a year now. Ive been dreading visiting her every week but always do. I have little or no support from other family members, they seem to be in denial or maybe running away from the situation.
She has recently had a covid infection and has deteriorated rapidly. Last week the dr was called out, she told me that she thought mum was dieing and to be prepared. However she has now started taking in more fluids and has had a small amount to eat, so I am confused whether she is starting to recover or not. I am left with the guilt that I had become resigned to the fact she was dieing and being released from this cruel disease at last but now it seems she is just hanging on in an even worse state than she was before. She is virtually a skeleton, almost completely deaf and can barely see. She just seems to sleep most of the time now. The last time I visited before the covid, she told me that she wished she could just pass away in her sleep as she was so tired of living.
I am so guilty that I had hoped she would die last week and be free of this pain she must be feeling. I know it is an impossible question, but how long will this state go on for,. I am due to visit her tomorrow and am truly dreading it ?
She has recently had a covid infection and has deteriorated rapidly. Last week the dr was called out, she told me that she thought mum was dieing and to be prepared. However she has now started taking in more fluids and has had a small amount to eat, so I am confused whether she is starting to recover or not. I am left with the guilt that I had become resigned to the fact she was dieing and being released from this cruel disease at last but now it seems she is just hanging on in an even worse state than she was before. She is virtually a skeleton, almost completely deaf and can barely see. She just seems to sleep most of the time now. The last time I visited before the covid, she told me that she wished she could just pass away in her sleep as she was so tired of living.
I am so guilty that I had hoped she would die last week and be free of this pain she must be feeling. I know it is an impossible question, but how long will this state go on for,. I am due to visit her tomorrow and am truly dreading it ?