Feeling down

PatH

Registered User
Feb 14, 2005
301
77
N.Ireland
After a very tearful day with my husband I am feeling so low. I am sad ,miserable and lonely.
Dont know what happened today but my husband cried so much. While I tried to console him I was screaming inside just for the two of us to be able to hold each other like we used to years ago and I cant let go of this longing.
To crown it all his skin cancer has returned,he has had it removed twice before and had subsequent treatment.
Sorry cant say anymore too upset.
Thanks for listening
Pat
 

Gromit

Registered User
Apr 3, 2006
187
Edinburgh
Don't be alone

Pat - I don't know what to say - but lots of people here do! I just wanted to answer as quickly as I could to let you know you are not alone!!!! I'm so sorry to hear what a rotten time you are having. If I could give you a hug I would - here's a virtual one instead {{{{for Pat}}}}}.

Hang in there.
G
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,453
Hiya Pat,
Sometimes actions speak louder than words, so here's another big <<<hug>>>.
As Norman says Day by Day.
Thinking of you both.
Love Helen.
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,972
Derbyshire
I cant let go of this longing

Pat - I feel so sorry and understand exactly how you feel - a longing for the 'old' partner/husband to hug and comfort each other. You are certainly not alone and although it cannot take the feeling away completely I hope you can be consoled a little by knowing that we are all here with so many similar thoughts and feelings. Best wishes - hope you have a better day tomorrow. Beckyjan
 

dmc

Registered User
Mar 13, 2006
1,157
hi pat,

so sorry your feeling down, here's yet another {{{{hug}}} you can never have to many
hope things get better soon xx
 

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
5,379
NW England
Pat, sad and miserable... ok. Allowed!!! Expected!!!! Lonely - NOT - you have friends here... don't ever forget that.....

'Talk' when you feel able to.... for now, another hug.....

Love, Karen (TF)
 

Lynne

Registered User
Jun 3, 2005
3,433
Suffolk,England
Dear Pat,
I'm so sorry things are awful for you. And I'm sure you meant "lonely" in the sense of lonely for the person your husband was before illness & dementia changed him - changed life for both of you. Plans & dreams upset or abandoned, an uncertain future. Yes, you can be lonely in a crowd, even on TP. That we understand doesn't change it, much as we'd all like it to.

Love and another bug <<<<<HUG>>>>>>
 

DickG

Registered User
Feb 26, 2006
558
84
Stow-on-the-Wold
Hi Pat

Sorry you are feeling so low. We all want to hold each other as we used to but more than that we want to hold the one we used to know. It is so hard but we have no choice but to cope and those who see us coping have no idea of the emotions within us.

Hugs

Dick
 

Libby

Registered User
May 20, 2006
625
62
North East
I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling Pat, but thinking of you - - - - - - - OK - here's another <<<<<HUG>>>>

Libs
 

PatH

Registered User
Feb 14, 2005
301
77
N.Ireland
Thank you all so very much. I had a long walk tonight and tried to get myself composed. Have just phoned my husbands ward and he is fine and fast asleep.
I dont share my emotions with anyone and I am very much seen as a strong person and one who copes so well. So thank you all again for allowing me to come from behind the mask and have a good cry with those who understand.
Good night
Pat
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,453
Hiya Pat,
Pleased you are feeling a bit better - we are here when you need us.
Love Helen
 

PatH

Registered User
Feb 14, 2005
301
77
N.Ireland
update

Hi all,
Pleased to say my husband was much calmer today. Sister tells me he was given pain relief last night just in case he was in pain.
As regards the skin cancer, I see the skin specialist on 5th July . I'll be guided by her as to what we should do for the best.
Thanks to all
Pat
 

janices666

Registered User
Jun 23, 2006
19
Kent
PatH said:
After a very tearful day with my husband I am feeling so low. I am sad ,miserable and lonely.
Dont know what happened today but my husband cried so much. While I tried to console him I was screaming inside just for the two of us to be able to hold each other like we used to years ago and I cant let go of this longing.
To crown it all his skin cancer has returned,he has had it removed twice before and had subsequent treatment.
Sorry cant say anymore too upset.
Thanks for listening
Pat
Hi Pat
So sorry that you feeling so low today, but you are not alone, we are all friends hear. First time on TB,lots of love and hugs.
Janice
 

janices666

Registered User
Jun 23, 2006
19
Kent
PatH said:
Thank you all so very much. I had a long walk tonight and tried to get myself composed. Have just phoned my husbands ward and he is fine and fast asleep.
I dont share my emotions with anyone and I am very much seen as a strong person and one who copes so well. So thank you all again for allowing me to come from behind the mask and have a good cry with those who understand.
Good night
Pat
Hi Pat
Sorry about my last message, i am glad you are feeling happier today and you found your husband fine. We all need a good cry sometimes, and i understand what you are going threw. My husband is in a care home, and the house seems very empty without him, i miss him alot.
Janice:) :)
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,453
Hiya Janice,
How long has your husband been ill? It must be so difficult for you adapting to him being in a care home.
Love Helen
 

Rosalind

Registered User
Jul 2, 2005
203
Wiltshire
Pat, so glad the walk helped.
Last January I was feeling dreadful about everything, not sleeping well, drinking too much etc, and made myself join a gym. It really has helped - 3 x 30 minute sessions per week have not solved my problems but certainly have made coping better. I'm not sure it is the 'me' time I would have chosen above all other (languishing on chaise longue being fed champagne, larks tongues, peeled grapes etc appeals rather more).
Apart from anything else, it is the only New Year's Resolution I have ever kept up beyond about January 7th.
Hope all goes well with your cancer specialist.
 

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