1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. PatH

    PatH Registered User

    Feb 14, 2005
    301
    N.Ireland
    After a very tearful day with my husband I am feeling so low. I am sad ,miserable and lonely.
    Dont know what happened today but my husband cried so much. While I tried to console him I was screaming inside just for the two of us to be able to hold each other like we used to years ago and I cant let go of this longing.
    To crown it all his skin cancer has returned,he has had it removed twice before and had subsequent treatment.
    Sorry cant say anymore too upset.
    Thanks for listening
    Pat
     
  2. Gromit

    Gromit Registered User

    Apr 3, 2006
    187
    Edinburgh
    Don't be alone

    Pat - I don't know what to say - but lots of people here do! I just wanted to answer as quickly as I could to let you know you are not alone!!!! I'm so sorry to hear what a rotten time you are having. If I could give you a hug I would - here's a virtual one instead {{{{for Pat}}}}}.

    Hang in there.
    G
     
  3. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Pat,
    Sometimes actions speak louder than words, so here's another big <<<hug>>>.
    As Norman says Day by Day.
    Thinking of you both.
    Love Helen.
     
  4. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    I cant let go of this longing

    Pat - I feel so sorry and understand exactly how you feel - a longing for the 'old' partner/husband to hug and comfort each other. You are certainly not alone and although it cannot take the feeling away completely I hope you can be consoled a little by knowing that we are all here with so many similar thoughts and feelings. Best wishes - hope you have a better day tomorrow. Beckyjan
     
  5. Blue_Gremlin

    Blue_Gremlin Registered User

    Mar 15, 2006
    89
    Morecambe, UK
    Can't offer advice am afraid but can join in the hugging.

    *HUGS*

    We need a talking point group hug forum!

    Take care

    Blue_Gremlin
     
  6. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Pat
    Sorry to hear your feeling so low
    Lots of love and hugs
    wendy
    x
     
  7. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    1,157
    hi pat,

    so sorry your feeling down, here's yet another {{{{hug}}} you can never have to many
    hope things get better soon xx
     
  8. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Pat, sad and miserable... ok. Allowed!!! Expected!!!! Lonely - NOT - you have friends here... don't ever forget that.....

    'Talk' when you feel able to.... for now, another hug.....

    Love, Karen (TF)
     
  9. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    3,433
    Suffolk,England
    Dear Pat,
    I'm so sorry things are awful for you. And I'm sure you meant "lonely" in the sense of lonely for the person your husband was before illness & dementia changed him - changed life for both of you. Plans & dreams upset or abandoned, an uncertain future. Yes, you can be lonely in a crowd, even on TP. That we understand doesn't change it, much as we'd all like it to.

    Love and another bug <<<<<HUG>>>>>>
     
  10. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    558
    Stow-on-the-Wold
    Hi Pat

    Sorry you are feeling so low. We all want to hold each other as we used to but more than that we want to hold the one we used to know. It is so hard but we have no choice but to cope and those who see us coping have no idea of the emotions within us.

    Hugs

    Dick
     
  11. Libby

    Libby Registered User

    May 20, 2006
    625
    North East
    I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling Pat, but thinking of you - - - - - - - OK - here's another <<<<<HUG>>>>

    Libs
     
  12. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    785
    Buckinghamshire
    Know just what you mean - hope you are feeling a bit brighter tomorrow.
    Here comes one more to help you along:

    < < < H U G ! > > >
     
  13. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    This situation calls for a special hug - to Pat, and the rest of you caring folks out there.
    Love,
     

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  14. PatH

    PatH Registered User

    Feb 14, 2005
    301
    N.Ireland
    Thank you all so very much. I had a long walk tonight and tried to get myself composed. Have just phoned my husbands ward and he is fine and fast asleep.
    I dont share my emotions with anyone and I am very much seen as a strong person and one who copes so well. So thank you all again for allowing me to come from behind the mask and have a good cry with those who understand.
    Good night
    Pat
     
  15. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Pat,
    Pleased you are feeling a bit better - we are here when you need us.
    Love Helen
     
  16. PatH

    PatH Registered User

    Feb 14, 2005
    301
    N.Ireland
    update

    Hi all,
    Pleased to say my husband was much calmer today. Sister tells me he was given pain relief last night just in case he was in pain.
    As regards the skin cancer, I see the skin specialist on 5th July . I'll be guided by her as to what we should do for the best.
    Thanks to all
    Pat
     
  17. janices666

    janices666 Registered User

    Jun 23, 2006
    19
    Kent
    Hi Pat
    So sorry that you feeling so low today, but you are not alone, we are all friends hear. First time on TB,lots of love and hugs.
    Janice
     
  18. janices666

    janices666 Registered User

    Jun 23, 2006
    19
    Kent
    Hi Pat
    Sorry about my last message, i am glad you are feeling happier today and you found your husband fine. We all need a good cry sometimes, and i understand what you are going threw. My husband is in a care home, and the house seems very empty without him, i miss him alot.
    Janice:) :)
     
  19. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Janice,
    How long has your husband been ill? It must be so difficult for you adapting to him being in a care home.
    Love Helen
     
  20. Rosalind

    Rosalind Registered User

    Jul 2, 2005
    203
    Wiltshire
    Pat, so glad the walk helped.
    Last January I was feeling dreadful about everything, not sleeping well, drinking too much etc, and made myself join a gym. It really has helped - 3 x 30 minute sessions per week have not solved my problems but certainly have made coping better. I'm not sure it is the 'me' time I would have chosen above all other (languishing on chaise longue being fed champagne, larks tongues, peeled grapes etc appeals rather more).
    Apart from anything else, it is the only New Year's Resolution I have ever kept up beyond about January 7th.
    Hope all goes well with your cancer specialist.
     

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