Hi everyone I've not been on Talking Point of a few years but after a few weeks of being called a useless lazy cow and more I feel I need to have a rant.my husband is 70 and was diagnosed over 6 years ago with Alzheimer's.. just lately all he does is walk in and out of the kitchen talking to himself or abusing me vocally !! He does nothing to help me in the house I do everything....take him to Alzheimer's activities and try to keep him "happy" but I feel like I'm losing the battle. I'm 65 but I feel like 85!! So tired and worn out but manage to keep on smiling. Xx
Fed up today
- Thread starter Mrs Ozz
- Start date
Hi Mrs Ozz,
I am so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this, I know you understand that it is the disease speaking, but even so, it must be soul destroying for you.
You are doing a fantastic job trying to keep your husband looked after, happy and occupied, but it is so often a thankless task.
I am glad you have come here to rant, we all need to do that and we understand the difficulties you are facing.
You are not useless and you are not lazy - you are a complete star and don't you forget it
I am so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this, I know you understand that it is the disease speaking, but even so, it must be soul destroying for you.
You are doing a fantastic job trying to keep your husband looked after, happy and occupied, but it is so often a thankless task.
I am glad you have come here to rant, we all need to do that and we understand the difficulties you are facing.
You are not useless and you are not lazy - you are a complete star and don't you forget it
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hello Mrs Ozz
what a long time you have been looking after your husband, no wonder you feel tired and dispirited
do you have some help in your home? does your husband have some days at a day centre, so you can have time for yourself? might you contact your Local Authority Adult Services and ask for an up to date assessment of your husband's care needs - let them know that you are tired and you both need support - maybe even mention that some respite would be helpful, so that you have a week to yourself knowing your husband is being taken care of
it's good that you can keep on smiling despite your husband's words and behaviour, maybe though it's time to let someone see that there are tears there too, and tiredness - have a chat with your own GP about YOU and how you are, they may be able to help and will at least know that you are finding things challenging right now
now you've posted, don't be a stranger - it's good to get things off your chest amongst folk who understand
best wishes
what a long time you have been looking after your husband, no wonder you feel tired and dispirited
do you have some help in your home? does your husband have some days at a day centre, so you can have time for yourself? might you contact your Local Authority Adult Services and ask for an up to date assessment of your husband's care needs - let them know that you are tired and you both need support - maybe even mention that some respite would be helpful, so that you have a week to yourself knowing your husband is being taken care of
it's good that you can keep on smiling despite your husband's words and behaviour, maybe though it's time to let someone see that there are tears there too, and tiredness - have a chat with your own GP about YOU and how you are, they may be able to help and will at least know that you are finding things challenging right now
now you've posted, don't be a stranger - it's good to get things off your chest amongst folk who understand
best wishes
Hi Mrs Ozzie
Hope letting it out on tp.helped.
Why not contact the senior at the day care and ask if you husband does be join in with activities at all--are there things they find keeps him settled and contented while in their care wtc that you could do at home?
My mums now in ch but for over two years attended the local age uk centre twice a week.she often said didn't do anything-didn't get fed/ ignored etc.
I became phone friends with two staff and a volunteer who would let me know of any problems or successes each week.this meant when I saw her mid week after the Tuesday session or weekend after Friday's session I had things to discuss or check up on. They were very good at letting me know if any slight changes in her demeanour or mood so caught mild infection before fully blown one winter as they had noticed was more agitated that day
If nothing else, ask about a few days respite for your own health
Ros
Hope letting it out on tp.helped.
Why not contact the senior at the day care and ask if you husband does be join in with activities at all--are there things they find keeps him settled and contented while in their care wtc that you could do at home?
My mums now in ch but for over two years attended the local age uk centre twice a week.she often said didn't do anything-didn't get fed/ ignored etc.
I became phone friends with two staff and a volunteer who would let me know of any problems or successes each week.this meant when I saw her mid week after the Tuesday session or weekend after Friday's session I had things to discuss or check up on. They were very good at letting me know if any slight changes in her demeanour or mood so caught mild infection before fully blown one winter as they had noticed was more agitated that day
If nothing else, ask about a few days respite for your own health
Ros
Hi Mrs Ozz
I can understand how it gets to you. There is so much going on behind the smiles we have to keep sometimes. I know the behaviours are down to the disease but it's not easy to see past it when you are constantly on the receiving end of another rant.
I've had to count to three several times today, my OH's new thing is overfilling the kettle, which is dangerous, but just gets huffy when told I will do it. Spilt bird seed everywhere in the kitchen the last few days as very shaky, again I said I would do it, but never goes down well. The hoover has worked overtime! Can be so frustrating especially when it's all made out to be your fault when you just try to help and keep everything safe!
It helps to know that people here can understand, so many of my friends (rarely seen these days) and family just don't get it! Xx
Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
I can understand how it gets to you. There is so much going on behind the smiles we have to keep sometimes. I know the behaviours are down to the disease but it's not easy to see past it when you are constantly on the receiving end of another rant.
I've had to count to three several times today, my OH's new thing is overfilling the kettle, which is dangerous, but just gets huffy when told I will do it. Spilt bird seed everywhere in the kitchen the last few days as very shaky, again I said I would do it, but never goes down well. The hoover has worked overtime! Can be so frustrating especially when it's all made out to be your fault when you just try to help and keep everything safe!
It helps to know that people here can understand, so many of my friends (rarely seen these days) and family just don't get it! Xx
Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
Hello Mrs Ozz.
I do hope it's helped a bit, posting on here. Don't leave it so long next time
I do hope that you can get your OH to go to daycare more often - one day a week isn't enough. Do you have access to any sitting or befriending services? I've heard other people mention an organisation called Crossroads.
Hugs x
I do hope it's helped a bit, posting on here. Don't leave it so long next time
I do hope that you can get your OH to go to daycare more often - one day a week isn't enough. Do you have access to any sitting or befriending services? I've heard other people mention an organisation called Crossroads.
Hugs x
