Hi,
I am so sorry to hear about your situation and having read your post I know you have already done so much and probably have for years. Although I have enormous respect for people who care for someone 24/7 not everyone can do this for a variety of reasons and dealing with this is difficult. lots of possibilities for guilt and conflict. Certainly agree with your statement about it feeling like one of the worst times of your life.
When my Dad was ill I said I had to have respite for Mum. We knew he could not go on (he had said this before he went to hospital) and I knew I would not look after mum long term. To be honest although I could have had a day or two as special leave I also knew it would not solve any problems as nothing else was suddenly going to get better. It does seem to me you have to say to Social Work, GP, Care manager and anyone else who will listen -"We cannot do this" and "You have a duty of care as mum cannot look after herself." Also you may find it helps to involve the Princess Royal trust for Carers or your local Alzheimers Branch as it is amazing how Social Work take carers with some back up and knowledge more seriously. Either of these organisations may have an Advocacy service who will be able to help you deal with this situation. Also if no phone call tomorrow get straight back on to Social Work and ask who is in charge and speak to them if you have to.
Social Work hould have a 24 hour emergency number and there is NHS24 although no idea how they would react.
Wish I could tell you it will all end happily - my Mum is now in a good residential home but I am waiting for the next crisis.
I used to dream about winning the lottery and being able to fund a private care manager and carers for care at home but you are talking about a lot of money - only time I would like to very, very rich.
As an earlier post says do not take "No" for an answer. Tell people there is no one to look after your Mum tomorrow night and she cannot be left alone. It should not be like this but it seems to me (and I was told by Mum's CPN that it would take a crisis to get care arranged although to be fair our situation was complicated - maybe it always is when two unwell people are involved) that nothing ever got done until a crisis arrived and if a family "manages" then the services are quite happy to let them for as long as possible. Too many demands on too few resources.
I really hope that you are able to get some solution and that your Dad's health improves and you are able to give some time and energy to other parts of your life.
Great you have brothers on board mine is hopeless and has done nothing however my husband and kids have been great
Take care
I am so sorry to hear about your situation and having read your post I know you have already done so much and probably have for years. Although I have enormous respect for people who care for someone 24/7 not everyone can do this for a variety of reasons and dealing with this is difficult. lots of possibilities for guilt and conflict. Certainly agree with your statement about it feeling like one of the worst times of your life.
When my Dad was ill I said I had to have respite for Mum. We knew he could not go on (he had said this before he went to hospital) and I knew I would not look after mum long term. To be honest although I could have had a day or two as special leave I also knew it would not solve any problems as nothing else was suddenly going to get better. It does seem to me you have to say to Social Work, GP, Care manager and anyone else who will listen -"We cannot do this" and "You have a duty of care as mum cannot look after herself." Also you may find it helps to involve the Princess Royal trust for Carers or your local Alzheimers Branch as it is amazing how Social Work take carers with some back up and knowledge more seriously. Either of these organisations may have an Advocacy service who will be able to help you deal with this situation. Also if no phone call tomorrow get straight back on to Social Work and ask who is in charge and speak to them if you have to.
Social Work hould have a 24 hour emergency number and there is NHS24 although no idea how they would react.
Wish I could tell you it will all end happily - my Mum is now in a good residential home but I am waiting for the next crisis.
I used to dream about winning the lottery and being able to fund a private care manager and carers for care at home but you are talking about a lot of money - only time I would like to very, very rich.
As an earlier post says do not take "No" for an answer. Tell people there is no one to look after your Mum tomorrow night and she cannot be left alone. It should not be like this but it seems to me (and I was told by Mum's CPN that it would take a crisis to get care arranged although to be fair our situation was complicated - maybe it always is when two unwell people are involved) that nothing ever got done until a crisis arrived and if a family "manages" then the services are quite happy to let them for as long as possible. Too many demands on too few resources.
I really hope that you are able to get some solution and that your Dad's health improves and you are able to give some time and energy to other parts of your life.
Great you have brothers on board mine is hopeless and has done nothing however my husband and kids have been great
Take care