Favourite conversation of the day

[Petrina]

"I don't remember that happening."
"That's because you were unwell that day."
"I wasn't, surely?"
"Yes, but after a couple of days, you were a lot better."
"Why didn't you tell me I wasn't well?"
"I did."
"I don't remember you telling me."
"That's because you were unwell."

 

[2jays]

"How's Mr 2jays"
he's fine mum
"is he better now"
better? he's not been ill
"yes he has. You said he was"

big debate that Mr 2jays has been ill
continue with other subjects then..

"How's Mr 2jays"
he's better now mum
"better? why what was wrong with him"?

 

[Petrina]

Sometimes seeing the humour in it is the only way to stick it.

 

[Onlyme]

"How are the boys"
Fine
"How is the middle one? What's his name?"
I have two boys Mum
"No, the middle one"
Two boys, look here they are.
"Oh, have you got four then?"


(To Staff)
"She has to look after four girls"
No, I have two sons
(Shocked expression)
"Where are your girls?"
I don't have girls
"What have you done with your girls? Have you given them away? Have you killed them?"
No, I just don't have any and never have.
"So where are your girls?"

 

[reno]

At least 3x daily conversation

Old version

"I haven't seen (Neighbour A) for ages. I expect he's off doing something for the secret service."
"Mum, he doesn't work for the secret service. He's a wine merchant. That's why he's always travelling"
"Well, it would make for a good cover story. And he could get people a bit drunk too"
"So where do you reckon he's gone?"
"India/China/the Far East - (delete according to mood)"
"I really don't think that's the case ..."

etc

New version - much less hassle:

"I haven't seen (Neighbour A) for ages. I expect he's off doing something for the secret service."
"Yes, how exciting. Where do you think he's gone?"
"India/China/the Far East - (delete according to mood)"
"And being a wine merchant is such a good cover story. Who'd have thought all this was going on down your street ..."
keeps us going for ages! And less frustrating ...

 

[ellejay]

"Look, Where do I live?"
"You live here,mum"
Don't be stupid, I WORK here, I don't LIVE here!"
Well, you've got it looking very nice "
"Yes, well, I paid a lot of money for it"

"Linda never comes,you know...............Oh wait, you are Linda, Well who's that other one?"

"Where did you say I live?"


There must be the right answer somewhere, I just haven't found it yet ,
Lin x

 

[TaraT]

Man across Road: "Your cats keep doing their business on my lawn and I've had enough"
Mum: "No they don't" (spoken as cat is doing it's business on his lawn)
Man across Road: "Look it's there clear as day"
Mum: "It isn't doing anything in your garden" (cat 1 is now joined by cat 2 who both continue to do their business in mans lawn)
Mum: "Anyway you are a dirty old man with all those women going into your house every day"
The man has carers in 3 times a day to care for his wife. Mum is now convinced he is running a brothel. The cats, however can do no wrong!

 

[ooster22]

Wonderful thread

Unfortunately no conversation to add - just thanks for this wonderful thread, I am sure anyone who reads it will smile and that is what we all need.

xx

 

[vdg]

some of these are oh so familiar! as you say, laughter is the only answer.

 

[Saffie]

Oh how wonderful. Your posts did make me smile. But also to think - if only...X

 

[britcare4]

With,our neighbour who phones up to 50 times a day, we have the following call time and again:

Neighbour: "Pania is out with the dog I am lonely"
us: " Pania IS the dog, you mean S.........."
Neighbour: " Of course, I mean K.........."
Us: "No, S........ is your carer this month , K..... will be there next month"
Neighbour: " It doesnt matter, I just wish Pania would come home I am lonely, she is out with the dog"

 

[Sue J]

With,our neighbour who phones up to 50 times a day, we have the following call time and again:

Neighbour: "Pania is out with the dog I am lonely"
us: " Pania IS the dog, you mean S.........."
Neighbour: " Of course, I mean K.........."
Us: "No, S........ is your carer this month , K..... will be there next month"
Neighbour: " It doesnt matter, I just wish Pania would come home I am lonely, she is out with the dog"

This says so much about where this poor lady gets her real comfort from - Pania - with animals you don't have to say anything, you are wonderful neighbours to support this lady in the way that you do.

 

[Loopiloo]

Before my husband went into a care home four months ago, after six months in hospitals.

The following conversation a calm one, being some considerable time after the initial agitation caused by this happening.

Husband takes wallet out of pocket. Slowly looks in each compartment.
"Where is my driving licence?"
Me: "It was returned to the DVLA when you had to stop driving"

(eventually shortened to "The DVLA have it")

"Oh, I wondered where it was"

Pause...

"Why was it returned to the DVLA?"
Me: "When you stop driving you have to return it to the DVLA"

(eventually shortened to "You stopped driving")

"Oh. I didn't know that"

Pause

Why did I (have to) stop driving?"
Me: "It's coffee time. I'll go and make it now"

I am in kitchen making coffee
"Isn't it time for coffee?"
Me: " Yes, I'm making it, wont be long"

Return with coffee. Husband is looking through his wallet. Looks up, smiles
"Ah! Good" I thought it was about coffee time!"
"Where is my driving licence?"
Me "Why don't you put your wallet away while we enjoy our coffee?"
Husband returns wallet to pocket

Half an hour later - repeat above, multiply daily by ?, subtract coffee making and drinking, add other possible distractions

Much later, husband goes upstairs to bed
I wait, in anticipation...
15 minutes later husband comes downstairs

"Where is my driving licence? It isn't in my wallet"

Think of something - anything....

"Yes, I'm going back to bed, but where is my driviing licence? It isn't in my wallet"
etc., etc., etc., etc....

Multiply by 2 per every other night or so
Then multipy by ? over approximately two years... when all is subtracted to 0 as memory loss closes in

And then...

About 9pm most nights, husband looking in each kitchen cupboard
"I can't find it"
Me: What can't you find?"
"I don't know, but it isn't there"
Me:"Perhaps you left it upstairs?"
No. I can't find it"
Me:"What are you looking for?"
"I don't know but the b****y* thing isn't there"
Me : silence

Silence from the kitchen apart from cupboard doors being opened and closed

Suddenly laughter from kitchen

"I can't find it because I don't know what I'm looking for!"
Pause. More laughter
"I think I'm losing it! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Husband emerges from kitchen with big grin on his face

Asks "Do you get the joke?! I cant 'find' it because I'm 'losing' it!!
Me: " Yes, dear, I get the joke! "

Sad, heartbreaking, not always easy to laugh at the time. But yes, you do have to laugh, it can help, and I've had a chuckle reading this thread.

But now.... bitter sweet memories. Saffie, I know what you mean when you say

Your posts did make me smile. But also to think - if only...X

Loo x

 

[Loopiloo]

I hope I didn't offend anyone by what I wrote. (post #13). The written word does not always come across as intended.

I wasn't mocking my much loved husband but looking back and remembering, and thinking I wish he was here with me, going through the kitchen cuboards almost every evening....

It is a year next month since he went into hospital (3 of them), four and a half months since he went into a care home, and those of you who have gone through similar will know how difficult it is to "adjust". I cannot, it just gets worse for me, I miss him so much. The pain is not easing but deepening.

Throughout our 53 years of marriage we always shared a sense of humour. We could laugh together, at each other and at ourselves. It saw us through some difficult times. Although my husband had dementia rages and was verbally aggressive, he retained his humour and at times it still shone through. Still does. Often it helps, breaks the "mood", eases the tension.

We all well know how horrific this terrible disease is, stealing away our loved ones and all we can do is helplessly witness this happening. I would never make light of it, having lived with it for 7-8 years. But sometimes we have to find some light in the smothering darkness, and humour can be one way. However I respect that not everyone would share that view.

Loo xx

 

[2jays]

I hope I didn't offend anyone by what I wrote. (post #13). The written word does not always come across as intended.

Didnt offend me very similar to what is said in my house

 

[littlegem]

Dear loo, I'm positive you did not offend anyone on the forum, we have to laugh don't we.

My hubby is getting ratty, something he has never been before and I too want the laughter back. Hate this damn disease.........

Take care (((((((hugs))))))

 

[legolover]

I don't think your post is offensive at all. To me it reads like a very poignant description of his gradual decline in abilities yet how he was still able to retain his sense of humaour

 

[Loopiloo]

Thanks 2jays, littlegem, legolover for your reassurances Relief! It was after I posted it I had doubts....

Littlegem, I'm sorry your husband is getting ratty. Henry (also VaD) started that way quite early on, but then for a long time very verbally aggressive, rages - and a humour bypass. There were quieter spells inbetween, though, and the humour would re-emerge. In life before dementia we used to laugh a lot, yet another thing you do miss.

Strangely, although his dementia has much worsened since hospital, care home, the humour has survived. Not always there but when it is, it is precious. Some weeks ago he said to me, in garbled words, "You have a lovely face" and then "Do you take it off at night?!" He was doubled up laughing! Good to see!

Thanks again.
Loo xx

 

[Petrina]

I think it's great to see humour in someone that has dementia. Humour can be so protective against so many terrible things.

Dad has very little sense of humour. He gets very offended by a lot of my jokes, most of which are directed at myself. I don't laugh at him, although I do aim to laugh with him, but he doesn't get it. It makes it a strain being with him, because when we're having a frustrating conversation, there's nothing in the way of a safety valve and I'm trying desperately to cope with the growing tension and his verbal abuse.

So enjoy the humour and don't be ashamed of it.

 

[Dazmum]

Not offended in the slightest. My mum and I laugh a lot together, I usually say something funny about myself to distract her if she is having a bit of a wobbly moment. This conversation took place yesterday morning...

Me ( quite excited): Mum, your meals on wheels are starting next Tuesday!
Mum: Oh how lovely!
Me: Yes, you won't be able to choose what you want until the week after, but you liked all the menus anyway didn't you?
Mum: Yes I did. I didn't realise they did it.
Me: What's that?
Mum: (aged 83 1/2) well, I knew they did meals on wheels for elderly people, but I didn't know they did it for everyone...
Me: Ummm, mum, you are the elderly, you're 83!
Mum: So I am, I'd forgotten that....
Lots of laughing on both sides. A happy time, long may it last