Father with possible dementia
- Thread starter dukeluke
- Start date
Hi Luke
I am still new to all of this, so I might not be suggesting the right thing, my husband was diagnosed with young onset Alzheimer's a week ago. We also started with a diagnosis of depression and anti-depressants, but as the anti-depressants did no good he was transferred to a memory specialist.
It might be worth keeping a diary of the symptoms/things you notice to share with the doctor. Does your dad let you attend the doctors appointment with him? My husband did not always explain all the symptoms he was experiencing as he was not aware of some of them. I attended appointments with him so I could explain them and also understand what the doctor was suggesting in terms of next steps, as my husband didn't always understand what tests were going to take place next. I could also explain how the ways he was behaving were out of character compared to how he was a year ago.
I have been worrying about the financial side too, there are lots of leaflets in here about benefits etc, plus if your dad is diagnosed with Alzheimer's or some form of dementia work would need to make reasonable adjustments to help him keep working if he is able to.
It is scary and being told that my husband had Alzheimer's was devastating but we needed to know and it means he now has medication which may help him (hopefully), he can ask for support at work and also I can understand why he is behaving as he is. I am still devastated but do now understand that my husband isn't being deliberately awkward.
I hope you get the help you need.
I am still new to all of this, so I might not be suggesting the right thing, my husband was diagnosed with young onset Alzheimer's a week ago. We also started with a diagnosis of depression and anti-depressants, but as the anti-depressants did no good he was transferred to a memory specialist.
It might be worth keeping a diary of the symptoms/things you notice to share with the doctor. Does your dad let you attend the doctors appointment with him? My husband did not always explain all the symptoms he was experiencing as he was not aware of some of them. I attended appointments with him so I could explain them and also understand what the doctor was suggesting in terms of next steps, as my husband didn't always understand what tests were going to take place next. I could also explain how the ways he was behaving were out of character compared to how he was a year ago.
I have been worrying about the financial side too, there are lots of leaflets in here about benefits etc, plus if your dad is diagnosed with Alzheimer's or some form of dementia work would need to make reasonable adjustments to help him keep working if he is able to.
It is scary and being told that my husband had Alzheimer's was devastating but we needed to know and it means he now has medication which may help him (hopefully), he can ask for support at work and also I can understand why he is behaving as he is. I am still devastated but do now understand that my husband isn't being deliberately awkward.
I hope you get the help you need.
I agree with this, it's really important you try to let the doctor know what has been happening. Could you call the surgery and arrange to see the GP separately first? It is unlikely the doc will pick up on these changes just from talking to your dad.
When I first became concerned abou my mum, I arranged for a GP to do a house call. I wasn't there so I have no idea what mum said, but afterwards the GP called me and said my mother didn't have dementia, she was just anxious. A week later she ended up in a mental health hospital where she stayed for four months. In that whole time they still didn't diagnose dementia. Instead they said she was having a psychotic episode. It took another two months after that before they finally admitted it.
I trusted the doctors too much back then, I now realise how important it is to stand your ground with them. Keep a diary. It is helpful if you understand the main symptoms of dementia, so you know which key words will help the doctor to link what you're saying to the disease, even if that sounds a bit manipulative. Good luck.
When I first became concerned abou my mum, I arranged for a GP to do a house call. I wasn't there so I have no idea what mum said, but afterwards the GP called me and said my mother didn't have dementia, she was just anxious. A week later she ended up in a mental health hospital where she stayed for four months. In that whole time they still didn't diagnose dementia. Instead they said she was having a psychotic episode. It took another two months after that before they finally admitted it.
I trusted the doctors too much back then, I now realise how important it is to stand your ground with them. Keep a diary. It is helpful if you understand the main symptoms of dementia, so you know which key words will help the doctor to link what you're saying to the disease, even if that sounds a bit manipulative. Good luck.
It sounds worrying. And scary.
I'm not very experienced at how these things work. But recording the behaviour that worries you sounds a good idea.
I think I'd be trying to get more medical help/assessment of his condition. Via the GP. Or Social Services?
I'm not very experienced at how these things work. But recording the behaviour that worries you sounds a good idea.
I think I'd be trying to get more medical help/assessment of his condition. Via the GP. Or Social Services?
Hi Luke, and welcome to TP.
I'm so sorry about the situation that has brought you here. There are three things I could suggest that might help you. The first - you've done it already! In joining TP you've put yourself into a position to ask any questions and seek any information from people who understand your concerns - as you've already seen.
Secondly, this link will allow you to find your nearest Alzheimer's Society Branch:
http://alzheimers.org.uk/localinfo
You can contact them for help and advice.
Thirdly, you find out about Admiral Nurses who exist to help carers of peolpe with dementia. There may be one based near you but even if there isn't they have a Direct phoneline:
http://www.dementiauk.org/what-we-do/admiral-nurses/
I hope you will soon feel that, though your situation is very difficult, there are some steps you can take to improve things.
I'm so sorry about the situation that has brought you here. There are three things I could suggest that might help you. The first - you've done it already! In joining TP you've put yourself into a position to ask any questions and seek any information from people who understand your concerns - as you've already seen.
Secondly, this link will allow you to find your nearest Alzheimer's Society Branch:
http://alzheimers.org.uk/localinfo
You can contact them for help and advice.
Thirdly, you find out about Admiral Nurses who exist to help carers of peolpe with dementia. There may be one based near you but even if there isn't they have a Direct phoneline:
http://www.dementiauk.org/what-we-do/admiral-nurses/
I hope you will soon feel that, though your situation is very difficult, there are some steps you can take to improve things.
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