As stated in the title, my father has dementia at what's considered a "young" age, most likely stage 2. He's been hard to talk to especially when it comes to the safety of me(14) and my sister(12). For example, last year, once on the subway my sister had taken a seat next to a "mentally disturbed" person, as there was nowhere else to sit. In the middle of the car, there was a man passed out on the floor, so my father went to the operator to tell him. Police were called, and the man was removed. After that though he started talking to a woman and talking about his USMC service history (4 years in training, little combat). While he was talking to the woman however, the man sitting next to my sister was screaming about politics and migrants. My father paid no attention, and afterwards said he was "giving the guy looks" and "was right next to him" when he was across the car (about 11 feet/3.3 meters). He's become increasingly frustrating to talk to, and can't even remember mine or my sister's birthdays anymore, claiming he remembered because "It's on my phone." Along with this, I've also started forgetting a lot of things in school and am worried I might have dementia too. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
Father, 56 possibly with dementia.
- Thread starter darEEus
- Start date
In the ToS it said that minors under 13 needed parental permission, and 18-13 only had mods notified when they made a post, unless I read something wrong.
Hello @darEEus and welcome
It really doesnt matter where you are from as dementia is the same the world over and if there is a problem with you posting then the mods will sort it out
Im so sorry that you are having this problem with your dad. Im afraid that people with dementia find it difficult to understand what is happening to other people and can often only see how it relates to themselves. They also misremember what has happened
I think that all of us who care for someone with dementia have worried that we are developing dementia too, but it is usually just the stress that is making us forgetful. At your age it certainly wont be dementia developing. Is there your mom or anyone else around who is looking after you as well as your dad? Do you have someone like a counsellor at your school that you can talk to about things? You are far too young to be dealing with your dad on your own
xx
It really doesnt matter where you are from as dementia is the same the world over and if there is a problem with you posting then the mods will sort it out
Im so sorry that you are having this problem with your dad. Im afraid that people with dementia find it difficult to understand what is happening to other people and can often only see how it relates to themselves. They also misremember what has happened
I think that all of us who care for someone with dementia have worried that we are developing dementia too, but it is usually just the stress that is making us forgetful. At your age it certainly wont be dementia developing. Is there your mom or anyone else around who is looking after you as well as your dad? Do you have someone like a counsellor at your school that you can talk to about things? You are far too young to be dealing with your dad on your own
xx
Welcome to the forum @darEEus.
As Canary says it doesn’t matter that you’re in US. We have me,bees from all over the world.
I was also wondering if your mom or another adult was around to support you and your sister. Please talk to someone about your concerns. They might also find this forum useful. There’s also a US site where you migh5 find local support.
www.alzint.org
As Canary says it doesn’t matter that you’re in US. We have me,bees from all over the world.
I was also wondering if your mom or another adult was around to support you and your sister. Please talk to someone about your concerns. They might also find this forum useful. There’s also a US site where you migh5 find local support.
ADI - Alzheimer’s Association
Alzheimer's Disease International (ADI) is the worldwide federation of Alzheimer associations, which support people with dementia and their families
www.alzint.org
Regarding other people, my aunt is trying to help but my dad keeps saying things like "She keeps taking my money" and "She's trying to take the house," and my parents are divorced so my mom doesn't really care what happens to my dad. She has primary custody however, so I only see my dad on the weekends.
Im afraid that this is absolutely classic mid-stage dementia. Accusations of stealing are so common it is almost diagnostic (even though we cannot actually diagnose it on here).
Both you, your sister and your aunt must be finding it very tough
xx
I’m so sorry for what you are going through with your dad. You must be very scared. I’m a youth services librarian and talk to teens everyday. You are doing great looking and asking for help. That’s the first step in getting help. Talk to your mom. Let her know some of the things your dad is doing. You said she doesn’t care about your dad but she does care about you and your sister and she would want to know this. If your mom isn’t able to help you talk to your school counselor. They should be able to give you advice.
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Another thing. If you don’t want other kids knowing you are talking to the school counselor, text or email the counselors and let them know you need to talk but don’t want other kids knowing you are taking to the counselor. The counselor can set something up so other kids won’t know that you’re talking to the counselor.
Hello @darEEus you are doing a great job seeking out some advice and support. We all wish you and your sister well. I see that you stay with your Father at the weekends. Are you still wanting to make these visits? You sound uncomfortable around your Dad’s behaviour when out with him. Do you feel safe staying over? Is he looking after you on his own? If so, it’s time for supervised visits as you and your sister are minors and need safeguarding too. This is a tough time for you all. As others have said, you need adult support from either your Mom, a trusted relative or your school counsellor, Do keep in touch.
I feel relatively safe around him and with what he does, it's mainly what he doesn't do.
I've also just realized that he's started forgetting the last time he ate. About the stealing accusations though, my mother also called my aunt manipulative and doesn't want to talk to her. My mom doesn't have any signs of dementia either however.
A few people have mentioned talking to the counselor so I'll try to talk to her when the school week starts
Thinking that someone is manipulative is rather different from thinking that they are trying to take their house, though
It was the wording that got me "She keeps taking my money" and "She's trying to take the house". My mum said this - almost word for word and I have heard these exact words repeated time after time on here
If hes also forgetting to eat, this is another worrying sign. Are you able to talk to your aunt? Does she think that he has dementia?
Do go and talk to the school counsellor. You need to tell people about what is happening to you and your dad so that something can start to be sorted out
Yeah. Another thing is that my dad has diabetes, which is mostly under control but he said that the medicine they put him on about 2 years ago started his memory loss. He's not on it anymore but thats when the symptoms really started. My aunt didn't seem to know or notice this though.
Uncontrolled diabetes is one of the common causes of dementia.
If his medication was changed a couple of years ago it was probably changed because his diabetes wasnt properly controlled and this may be what triggered the memory loss. I suspect that it will be impossible to be sure by now, though
It doesnt sound like you are really able to talk to your aunt, which is a shame. It must be very lonely for you
Sending you a virtual hug
((((((((hugs))))))))
I had a talk yesterday with my dad after i last posted, I mentioned the dementia and this time he actually seemed to care about it instead of making a joke out of it. It was more or less "it is what it is" but I think I've accepted that now.
He was undiagnosed until he got that medication, but his diabetes is under control and his dementia it hasn't gotten worse than he stopped taking it (he stopped by himself iirc), at least it's not advancing as much as it did while he was on said medication.
Thanks for the help and kind words everyone, I'll try to keep yall updated.
He was undiagnosed until he got that medication, but his diabetes is under control and his dementia it hasn't gotten worse than he stopped taking it (he stopped by himself iirc), at least it's not advancing as much as it did while he was on said medication.
Thanks for the help and kind words everyone, I'll try to keep yall updated.
So I've been sitting at my computer most of the day, we've been doing almost nothing at home, when my dad asks if me and my sister want to take a walk to our aunt's house, he says it's just to say hi, but both me and my sister we'll end up spending half the night there, so we say no. So he says to get dressed to go outside anyway, even though he asked us at first, then 3 minutes later he says we're gonna buy more food, even though he told me 20 minutes earlier that we could get more food tomorrow. Is this part of his dementia?
Hello @darEEus pleased to hear from you again, but sorry to hear about your confusing day with your dad changing his mind erratically. Are most of your weekends with him spent like this, with no real plans and constant changes? He does sound confused and this could well be part of his dementia. How did you get on with chatting to your school counsellor?
