1. Shakey1961a

    Shakey1961a Registered User

    Nov 7, 2004
    111
    Southport
    Hi. First time on here.

    Just a quick one to start. Running out of time on the library computer!

    Has anyone ever had any experience of being falsely accused by a member of staff at the home their loved ones are in?

    I have been visiting my mother who is 75 for over 18 months now.
    On the 3rd September one of the nurses accused me of touching my mother's breast. As a concequence I am not allowed to see my mother and haven't done so for the past 10 weeks, and I'm not allowed to contact her by any means.

    I am INNOCENT of it all. The nurse had only worked on that "unit" for 4 shifts, previous to that she worked on another unit so she doesn't know my mum very well (her words).

    As you can imagine I'm very worried and am in the process of legal proceedings.

    Has anyone else been in a similar situation and if so can they give me some advice or know of any help?

    I adore my mum and would not hurt her in any way.

    I have not gone into great detail here as this is not the place, but I'm sure there must be a way if anyone has any advice or wants more information that they could get in contact with me somehow.

    Please respond to Steve on the forum or by private message

    Kindest regards

    Steve
     
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hello Steve

    This is a difficult one, obviously.

    There was a vaguely similar situation regarding a non-resident nurse, concerning my wife, at her home.

    My wife was in a chair, with a lap belt on to prevent her from falling out - which she undoubtedly would otherwise have done.

    A nurse from the associated hospital happened by, saw this, and went straight back to the hospital without checking with anyone. She reported it as patient abuse as the use of 'restraints' is permitted only under very controlled circumstances, and we were then faced with months of meetings with care standards, the hospital etc. Had the silly nurse checked with me or with the home manager, she would have seen that I had been asked whether they could do it, this had been countersigned by the visiting doctor as necessary.

    Once they had started proceedings it took ages to get the thing sorted.

    Nurses generally seem to have no idea of the needs of a dementia patient, or of the lengths one has to go to in order to ensure their safely. I don't think they are trained in this area. Likewise, in preventing them from damaging themselves, one often comes into contact with patients, and there is no controlling which bit is contacted!

    What to do?

    Firstly, what was the development of this situation?

    The nurse thought she saw something. Then what?

    Did she report this to the home manager? Did the home manager discuss the situation with you? How was the embargo applied? Have you spoken to the home manager since?

    Clearly homes are legally bound to ensure that the people in their care are safe, and they need to take seriously any and every 'complaint'. But I would expect some process whereby you were brought into the act, and where you were able to put your point of view.
     
  3. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Steve,

    I do hope you can resolve this situation as soon as possible and resume visits to your mother. It must be very worrying for you in the extreme.

    Very best wishes,

    Jude
     
  4. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Dear Steve

    I'd go with Nada on this one. Don't prejudice your case in any way.

    Use the Alzheimer's Society line - I did when I had what was a tricky legal question and they were absolutely brilliant.

    The very very best of luck.
    Chesca
     
  5. Shakey1961a

    Shakey1961a Registered User

    Nov 7, 2004
    111
    Southport
    Won't mention it on here too much then.

    Will give helpline a call. I have a letter written so I hope they'll reply to that.

    Thanks for all your help.

    Regards

    Steve
     
  6. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Dear Steve

    Although it is wiser not to discuss any litigation, don't forget we are always here for when you are feeling fraught, just to give a lift. And, hopefully, when it is all over you can share the benefit of your horrible experiences so that we may all learn something.

    Take care
    Chesca
     
  7. Shakey1961a

    Shakey1961a Registered User

    Nov 7, 2004
    111
    Southport
    Thanks for the offer of help, well the offer of having somewhere to come when things are getting on top of me.

    I'll certainly be doing my own "whistleblowing" on this whole saga, so that it doesn't happen to anyone else.

    I could come out with loads of "rude" words as to the way I'm feeling, but that won't help on here. I'll have a shout when I'm back at my room.

    Thanks for all your kind words.

    Regards

    Steve
     

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