I care for my elderly mother who was diagnosed with moderate mixed dementia 3 years ago. She lives alone and has council homecare twice daily for meds prompts. I provide all other care. She was admitted to hospital a month ago after collapsing at home and discharged after 12 days with no change to her care plan but declared AWI for 3 months (adult with incapacity) due to short term memory problems. Hospital did refer to local rehabilitation centre where she would have resided for a short time on discharge for full assessment but after initially accepting her they changed their mind. Her GP called it a failed discharge and asked me to contact SW with a view to assessment and possible care home. SW declined to become involved, said care home should be last resort & called GP old fashioned. SW are asking homecare to review her package. Today she has left taps running in her bathroom and flooded the kitchen directly below. Water running down light fittings etc so she is with me overnight. I will contact GP on Monday and ask for referral to older peoples mental health team but I feel we are caught in a bun fight between agencies who are in crisis, but so am I. Mum has previously declined sheltered housing and I had hoped to talk her into moving there this time but after today I realise the dementia has probably progressed too far. She is of opinion she doesn’t need to move or get help as that’s what her daughter is for! Any advice on where I go from here, in Scotland with full POA. Thanks.
Failed discharge
- Thread starter EM543
- Start date
Wow, that sounds hard. I am trying to read between the lines. Did your mother get to the rehab centre and convince them that she was fine and that she didn't need or want to be there?It sounds so wrong that she should be discharged from hospital with no care plan but also to be declared AWI. I notice that your Mum has declined sheltered housing before so she is unaware of what you see and witness and is, as is the case with dementia often, in a sort of denial, and evading of what is scarily happening. My mother spent many years like this and would convince many people she was fine and sometimes even confuse me into thinking I was getting it wrong(still could to an extent!). It is only when there is a worsening of symptoms that the truth, as seen by the outside world is harder to hide.
But are you so efficient in caring for your Mum and "picking up the pieces" which she doesn't always see or accept(like leaving the taps on)? I think you need to start making professionals aware of how you feel, how it is affecting you. I think if you carry on coping well they will, because they are as you say, in crisis, allow you to be the one to do all the sorting out without any help.
But are you so efficient in caring for your Mum and "picking up the pieces" which she doesn't always see or accept(like leaving the taps on)? I think you need to start making professionals aware of how you feel, how it is affecting you. I think if you carry on coping well they will, because they are as you say, in crisis, allow you to be the one to do all the sorting out without any help.
Thanks for replying. She never made it to the rehab centre.
Think I’ve been in denial about how much this illness has progressed and your right, it’s hands up I’m not coping time. Thank you.
Last edited:
As her home is not habitable at the moment, perhaps you could phone up Social Services tomorrow and tell them that your mum cannot stay with you so she has nowhere to go and needs emergency respite. This will give you mental space to work out what to do next. Hopefully, the care home she has respite in will be able to back you up in saying that she needs 24/7 care (make it quite clear that you are not able to do this)
