experience?

[zoflora]

Hi My mum has it in her mind that there is a conspiracy going on with me and my dad putting her into a nursing home. There is no way that we would do this at this moment in time. there may come a day when she will have to go if she gets any worse (and I think she will). She told my son when he went to see her at the weekend that we were planning this. I told my mum and tried to reassure her that this wasn't the case.

Has anyone else experienced this?

zoflora

 

[Margarita]

I told my mum and tried to reassure her that this wasn't the case.

That is all you can really do just acknowledging her feeling, in that she does think that of all of you, even thought you know it’s not true hopefully that thought will pass in time

I find that when my mother gets something in her thoughts , in how she perceives something to be its very hard to make her see it my way .

She told my son when he went to see her at the weekend that we were planning this.

does he normally stay at your parents in the past ?

 

[Vonny]

Hi Zoflora,

My mum now thinks that whenever dad isn't in the room with her, that he's left her. She cries when he talks to the carers, because she's jealous of the attention, and when he went to the hospital last Friday and was gone for 2 hours was beside herself. Because she can't speak much, it's difficult to establish cause but evenutally she can make herself understood and it's always the worry of dad leaving. Since they've been married 60 years and dad cares for her 24/7, such a thought process is a bit bizarre and I can only assume it's the illness as she was never suspicious or paranoid previously.

Like you, we just reassure her that dad is coming back.

I believe paranoia in various forms is something that happens with many dementia patients.

Vonny xx

 

[Canadian Joanne]

When my mother was at home, she insisted that my stepfather told all the neighbours that she had a brain tumour. This was the first example of confabulation I encountered.

She also was convinced my stepfather was having an affair. I tried to assure her on this, as a) it certainly wasn't true and b) she was confusing her second husband with her first (Dad had lots of great points but he wasn't a model husband).

I think your mother is voicing her fears. Other than reassuring her all the time, there isn't much I can offer.

there may come a day when she will have to go if she gets any worse (and I think she will).

Worry about that if and when the day comes. Don't expend valuable energy on "what ifs", you have too much else to deal with.

 

[linda js]

Hi. It seems that many dementia sufferers imagine all sort of conspiracies ranging from trying to get them out of their homes to people stealing or hiding things.All of which we know is untrue but I am afraid there is no convincing the patient as in their minds it is true.I find that if I contradict mum it makes her worse so I am afraid that I either try to not answer or just go along with it and she usually forgets it in a few days and moves on to something else. I know it may sound harsh but I find its easier for me and also for mum as she does not get upset or angry that I dont believe her. Always try to remember you are not alone(even though it may feel like it)
A good ramble on this site works wonders. Good luck. Linda

 

[Happyone]

My MIL said only today, that the way we are complaining about her not eating enough is our way of getting her "taken away". We have never ever suggested this, although she is certain that we have actually told her this. We would NEVER say this to her, although we would certainly never promise that she will never need a nursing home, as we know she may well do at some point. I just dont know where she has got this idea from. And she seems to think that her other son is her "ally", although when told that the 2 sons are speaking to each other regulary, she then says "that she cant trust either of them".
It is only reading your post that makes me wonder if this is actually a form of paranoia brought on by Alzheimers...something about your comments made a light bulb go off in my head.
It is such a vile vile disease.

Thinking of youm

Trace

 

[evedan]

Hello zoflora

My mother told a carer the same thing. She was quite adament that my brother and I were going to put her in a home....This was last year and she has not mentioned it since. All I did was explained to her that there was no way we would do that without her consent,and left it at that.But the more I am learning about this horrible illness I am getting to understand that it's all in the imagination.Hope this has helped.....

Take care
EVE