Hello with my husbands help we are caring for my 83 year old sister in law. We live 60 miles away but are visiting 3 times a week to keep her safe and to check she is eating. Also to take her to appointments. We are exhausted. As yet no diagnosis. She has told social services she is fine and can look after herself so they say no action necessary. Daily she loses keys and thinks her phone is broken. There are papers everywhere and the house is very cluttered and untidy. How do we get any help to keep her safe?
Exhausted carers
- Thread starter Heather55
- Start date
Hi @Heather55 I’m not surprised you feel exhausted . Do you know if you SIL would be self funding? If so and she is agreeable, you could get someone in to help her out and wouldn’t need to wait for ss to get involved.
Welcome @Heather55
You could make a diary of the times she loses her keys and thinks her phone is broken together with any other worrying behaviours.
You could include photos of her cluttered and untidy house I’m not sure if this would be considered an invasion of her privacy or not and it does depend on accepted standards. If she is at risk in her clutter it could hold weight.
The fact you are making such a long round trip to visit might also leave her vulnerable if you were to withhold those visits which you are not legally required to make.
Sometimes we have to be ruthless in order to be listened to
You could make a diary of the times she loses her keys and thinks her phone is broken together with any other worrying behaviours.
You could include photos of her cluttered and untidy house I’m not sure if this would be considered an invasion of her privacy or not and it does depend on accepted standards. If she is at risk in her clutter it could hold weight.
The fact you are making such a long round trip to visit might also leave her vulnerable if you were to withhold those visits which you are not legally required to make.
Sometimes we have to be ruthless in order to be listened to
Im afraid that this is extremely common in dementia. They lose self insight and are unable to see that they have changed. They think that they are still doing everything that they used to and that there is nothing wrong with them. It is one of the hardest symptoms of dementia to deal with IMO
