Everything seems to have settled down

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by MelissaParker, Sep 1, 2007.

  1. MelissaParker

    MelissaParker Registered User

    Aug 11, 2007
    Hello all

    Just to let you know in case you have been wondering about us (although I'm sure you have better things to do!) that everything seems to have settled down.

    We thought that we were at the end but we're beginning to realise that we just don't know what to expect nor when to expect it. What a rollercoaster ride this illness is. I don't know how I feel really, the only word I can think of to describe my feelings is "numb"

    Do you ever feel that if only you could blink and make it all go away that it would?

    I wish, I wish, I wish

  2. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Melissa

    I wish this also, but as it, isn't going to happen, we just have to deal with it, as best we can.

  3. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    North Derbyshire
    Make it go away

    I've felt this from day 1, some people relish the challenge, I just wanted it all to disappear, I couldn't cope. I HAVE coped, but only just, and I am a professional person who copes with all sorts of business problems very well, but this was different. I didn't cope well at all. It was my mum. It was personal. It invoked all sorts of memories. And this person (me) who can cope with everything suddenly couldn't cope with my mum.

    I have lost count of the hours spent sitting at the kitchen table with my head in my hands and not wanting to move. I had phone calls to make, I couldn't make them. I had letters to write, I couldn't write them. I had people to see, I didn't want to see them. I have been an absolute wreck.

    So join the club, anyone who feels like this.

    I am struggling.

    Love to all strugglers

  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear Margaret.

    Nobody relishes the challenge of Alzheimers, and everybody wants it to disappear, I can assure you.

    The fear in you is the same fear felt by everyone. But however much we want to, we can`t run away.

    Love xx
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Absolutely right, Sylvia. How could anyone ever relish watching a loved one slowly disintegrate? That's quite apart from the difficulties of preserving independence, safety, financial security, dealing with strange behaviour, red tape etc. etc.

    None of us would ever have wanted all this, either for our loved ones or ourselves. But because they are our loved ones, we accept the challenge, and do everything we can to make life bearable.

    Fear? Oh yes! Every day for the last seven years.
  6. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    Hello Melissa,
    This indeed is a wretched disease and the only thing predictable about it, seems to be it's unpredictably. I am sorry that you are having to go through this. Take Care. Taffy.
  7. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    Its good of you to give us an update. It is keeping in touch with everyone that is so important . Yes we probably have got other things to do but, my goodness, popping in to 'listen' to others is special for me.

    Pleased things are settled for the time being. Best wishes Jan
  8. Louise.D

    Louise.D Registered User

    Apr 13, 2007
    Dammed if I do and dammed if I don't.

    Rollercoaster is a really good description. The last six months for me have been a rollercoaster. My dad died and my mother has gone from stage 4 - stage 7 in 6 months. I just want this to STOP but it's like a bad dream that you cannot wake up from.

    I watched the Barbara and Malcolm programme a few weeks ago and hope she just passes in her sleep. It's horrible but I just want my mother to die without any more suffering and I feel so guilty to admit it. My brother does not cope and to ask him to come and see her is difficult. I want to be with her at the end to hold her hand and tell her that I love her, just like she did for her mother. I cannot even begin to bring that conversation up with him and as he lives 35 miles away and works full time. I feel dammed whatever I do.

    My daughter started school for the first time this morning, all the other mothers were crying. I just wanted her to hurry up and get to school so I could shoot off and see my mother without a four year old in tow. Both my kids have seen more that they should and now I'm at the stage where I think that they should see no more.

    Reading the posts on this forum have been a lifeline for me and I can honestly say that members have kept me sane. Mellissa you are right, you never know what to expect. This is a terrible and cruel illness.

  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear Louise, you are bearing the burden of the worry of your mother, and one more sibling, be it brother or sister, is `unable` to handle it.

    Don`t feel guilty admitting you would just like your mother`s and your suffering to end quickly. It is a nothing life for her and a heartbreaking life for you.

    I hope your little girl has a good first day at school.

    Love xx

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