It’s a terrible and selfish thought I know. Mums in a care home with Alzheimer’s now, Dads health is poorly so I’m going between the two for visits, do paperwork and spend time with them. Plus meeting the expectation of my full time job, mum to two kids and wife of someone with arthritis and low mood.
I just feel pulled in every direction and not good enough for anyone. Like I’m at the bottom of the food chain. My husband and I are barely intimate anymore either so I feel less attractive than ever. I’m only in my early forties yet feel 90. Just overwhelmed, tired and speaking honestly, like running away from everything. I walked to the post box earlier and the thought crossed my mind to just not go home. I don’t think I could do it as I love my family dearly but I just feel like I’m drifting away.
Am I alone in feeling this awful way? I’m so sad and alone with my thoughts and feelings I feel like I like break. I used to talk to my mum and I don’t even have her anymore. I have friends and go out regularly, but underneath I’m so unhappy. I can’t stop crying writing this now. Should I post it or delete it? I just don’t know anymore.....
I just feel pulled in every direction and not good enough for anyone. Like I’m at the bottom of the food chain. My husband and I are barely intimate anymore either so I feel less attractive than ever. I’m only in my early forties yet feel 90. Just overwhelmed, tired and speaking honestly, like running away from everything. I walked to the post box earlier and the thought crossed my mind to just not go home. I don’t think I could do it as I love my family dearly but I just feel like I’m drifting away.
Am I alone in feeling this awful way? I’m so sad and alone with my thoughts and feelings I feel like I like break. I used to talk to my mum and I don’t even have her anymore. I have friends and go out regularly, but underneath I’m so unhappy. I can’t stop crying writing this now. Should I post it or delete it? I just don’t know anymore.....