Entering a new level of dementia

[Duggie]

I havent posted anything in quite awhile. My husband has been in the early stage of dementia for two years. Lately, he has been showing signs of possibly being in the second stage. I need an opinion.
He has started not wanting to wear underwear, he pees outside on our deck(not off the deck but on it)- our deck is private but still, he is getting agitated more quickly, and is swearing more.
He still showers, dresses, and feeds himself. He helps me with housework. So those areas have remained the same.
I have noticed that when we are driving somewhere (I do all the driving now) - he gets mixed up with how to get to places that he used to be so familiar with.
Could these be signs of progressing to the second stage?
He exhausts me most days and I have to work hard at staying patient.

 

[SherwoodSue]

Hello Dougie.

couldn‘t help notice the time of this post 🥱😴

It is hard when things start to change. It’s good the showers and dressing himself is still on going.

Any changes to passing water, I think , warrants a UTI check just in case

Fingers crossed it might be something reversible

If it IS the progression of the disease , have you had any thoughts about extra help and breaks for you when the time comes ?

Everytime mum changes I am thinking, have you had another mini stroke? are you brewing an infection somewhere? Is this the new normal, that is to say has your dementia progressed?

Sadly the only way of knowing for sure is to allow to time to pass. I like all my answers instantly ( I have had to be schooled by this bleep disease)

My mantra is mum is loved and today mum is safe. When the second is no longer true….

Hey one day at a time

Hugs

 

[Duggie]

Thank you for your reply. It's so good to have a safe place to talk about this horrible disease.
It's been a rough last couple of weeks. More rough than normal. I'm trying to be patient but it's so hard.
I know my husband is getting worse now. I can no longer be in denial about it. He's become harder to live with although he's not at the point where he needs to go to assisted living.
I feel so overwhelmed with being his caregiver. I pretty much have to do everything.
He exhausts me.

 

[sapphire turner]

Hi Duggie it sounds like you need a break, is there anyone who can look after him so you can get away? Even a couple of hours makes a big difference to my day. If you can leave him on his own for a bit then do it while you can. I look forward to going to Tesco’s for a bit of me time 😹😹😹
Sending love ❤️

 

[valleygirlvamp]

Thank you for your reply. It's so good to have a safe place to talk about this horrible disease.
It's been a rough last couple of weeks. More rough than normal. I'm trying to be patient but it's so hard.
I know my husband is getting worse now. I can no longer be in denial about it. He's become harder to live with although he's not at the point where he needs to go to assisted living.
I feel so overwhelmed with being his caregiver. I pretty much have to do everything.
He exhausts me.

 

[valleygirlvamp]

I"m sorry Duggie. I truly feel your pain. I am in the same boat. My husband is young. He is only 58, since he got diagnosed, my memory has started to fail tremendously, I"ve been so depressed. IT has been a nightmare on top of a nightmare. I work from home, so thank God right? Wrong! I wish to God I had somewhere, anywhere to go during the day to get away from the crazy. My husband repeats himself all day long. He gets stuck on one thing or another until he gets it. For instance, for St. Patrick's day someone mentioned a Kiss me, I"m Irish T-shirt and how I should get him one. Well, that went on until I ordeed him one online. Then everyday until it came, and now he has worn that shirt everyday for the past few weeks At least the past 8 days or so. I put out clean clothes for him last night, hoping he would change. NOPE> He pulled everything out of the dirty clothes and put them back on. He has started to have a few accidents. One time he came downstairs and told me he peed the bed. But that was it. I dont know if he was sleeping or awake when it happened. I could go on forever. Just know, your not alone. Reach out anytime. Hugs.

 

[Blissy]

Hello. Just a thought but you might find it easier to get your husband to change if you have duplicates of the clothing he likes and is wearing. That way you can swap dirty for clean without him realising. I have four pairs of the same trousers for my husband as he is then happier changing as they are ones he likes best. Might be one problem solved.

 

[rosspaine]

I know what you are going through Duggie. My husband was diagnosed with dementia 3 yrs ago, but symptoms began 6 yrs ago. He lost his job and I had to return to work. He was very agitated, frustrated and mad right after being diagnosed. Unfortunately, he has progressively gotten worse since last summer. The sun downing is horrible. He gets up between 2:30am and 4:30am almost every day and refuses to get back in bed. Short-term memory is gone and long-term is being affected as well. He used to read a lot and that’s gone. He watches a lot of TV, but can never stay still if someone is not watching with him. He has bladder and bowel incontinence and the only things he can do for himself is feed himself and brush his teeth. Patience is a virtue. I’ve lost it many times out of exhaustion. I’ve lost my best friend to such a horrible condition. I do work remotely from home in the afternoons and have a caregiver in the mornings. Going into the office in the mornings keeps me sane. I try my best to get him out of the house and one of the things he loves is listening to music. He knows the lyrics of all his favorite music! I’m with you in this battle and all we can do is live day to day. Sending hugs and prayers.

 

[special 1]

Hi there, Yes we all send hugs and prayers, but the prayers never seem to get answered. Sometimes I wonder who is up there?

 

[Louise7]

Hello @rosspaine welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. This is a safe place to share how you are feeling and have a vent if you need to, so it's good that you have found us as you will find friendly support here from people who understand.

 

[jay6]

Hi @Duggie I'm finding it really hard when it comes to stages as everyone is so different so its hard to say. Not nice peeing on the decking but suppose better than wetting himself like some have to cope with. Don't what the answer is there.
Like many, I'm totally exhausts most days and really I have to work hard at staying patient.