1. SitsThere

    SitsThere Registered User

    Jan 7, 2013
    68
    Just a quick question - mum's home asked us to agree an End of Life care plan and it includes very final topics like name of undertaker and setting up DNAR. Yet mum seems to be nowhere near the end yet and is generally in good spirits. Is it usual to have these plans in place while someone with dementia is still reasonably "well" ?

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  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,869
    Kent
    It`s good forward thinking in my opinion , even if it is distressing to the carer.

    No one knows what tomorrow may bring and if everything is in place it saves decisions needing to be made when the family may be shocked and distressed.
     
  3. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,901
    Female
    Scotland
    They probably want to be prepared in case no one is available when the time comes due to illness, holidays etc. I am for forward planning.
     
  4. Dustycat

    Dustycat Registered User

    Jul 14, 2014
    215
    North East
    We had to do that when my mum was in care. However when she was in the final stages they were brilliant. Some things went to 'plan'. Others didn't. I think it's a bit of a formality a bit like having a birth plan but events usually dictate in the end. Xx
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,779
    Female
    South coast
    I had to do this recently (mum is in care) and it came as a bit of a shock here too.
    As everyone else has said - it seems to be a formality so that when the time eventually comes I dont have to worry about distressing details like that and the CH has got it all written down so they dont have to delay doing things while they try and get hold of me.
    Although Im sure that dustycat is right and there will be some things that dont go to plan, or no-one has thought of.
     
  6. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,988
    Suffolk
    Ages ago the gp asked me about OHs end of life. Did I want DNR? Yes I did, one for me too, even though I'm only in my 60s. Nothing was put in writing, however, until recently when he went into another care home for respite. I was more than happy with this. Then came the unexpected, a guy with advanced dementia who had never had a UTI suddenly had an infection ( somewhere). Did I want antibiotics administered?
    It's a question, out of the blue, that floors you. Well, yes. That type of infection can be knocked on the head fairly easily - usually. If it turns to pneumonia, then what? Probably no, but there's no guarantee that's what I will say.
    You need to think about these things at all stages of life, so when they come you've a vague ideas of your tipping point. It's a bit like deciding when someone has to go into care.
    I dislike having to make these decisions about someone else, but who else would/should do it?
     

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