Early dementia onset
- Thread starter Jrwels
- Start date
Hi and welcome to DTP @Jrwels
This is a problem many people face on here. It might be worth contacting your mum's GP and making them aware of your concerns. They may not be able to tell you anything but they can listen. Some GPs have been proactive enough to call the person with suspected dementia in for a health check.
There are other, treatable, conditions which can mimic dementia so it is definitely worth getting a proper diagnosis.
This is a problem many people face on here. It might be worth contacting your mum's GP and making them aware of your concerns. They may not be able to tell you anything but they can listen. Some GPs have been proactive enough to call the person with suspected dementia in for a health check.
There are other, treatable, conditions which can mimic dementia so it is definitely worth getting a proper diagnosis.
Hello,
I tried for two years to get my wife to go to the DOC. "There is nothing wrong with me". I went to the OBGYN with her and shared my concerns. She( the DOCTOR) didn't share my concern. Finally two years later having cataracts forced my wife to the doctor. I had to ensure she went and had pre surgery blood work. I met her GP and this doctor lovingly asked her to go to a NURO doctor. She agreed then promptly forgot that endeavor when we got home. I am going to lie and say it is an eye surgery follow up exam and try and get her in the NURO doc"s office. I hope it doesn't go south when she realizes whats going on. How can you help someone who says they don't need your help but your doing everything for this person before doing for yourself? Everyone tells me this is not my wife telling me I am a liar, thief ,adulterer. I get that but it is hard to remember day in and day out. Especially because I don't lie, steal or cheat. Just talking out loud guys. I'm just tired. Tomorrow is here. good luck to all of you . This makes it not so lonely.
I tried for two years to get my wife to go to the DOC. "There is nothing wrong with me". I went to the OBGYN with her and shared my concerns. She( the DOCTOR) didn't share my concern. Finally two years later having cataracts forced my wife to the doctor. I had to ensure she went and had pre surgery blood work. I met her GP and this doctor lovingly asked her to go to a NURO doctor. She agreed then promptly forgot that endeavor when we got home. I am going to lie and say it is an eye surgery follow up exam and try and get her in the NURO doc"s office. I hope it doesn't go south when she realizes whats going on. How can you help someone who says they don't need your help but your doing everything for this person before doing for yourself? Everyone tells me this is not my wife telling me I am a liar, thief ,adulterer. I get that but it is hard to remember day in and day out. Especially because I don't lie, steal or cheat. Just talking out loud guys. I'm just tired. Tomorrow is here. good luck to all of you . This makes it not so lonely.
It does make it less lonely. The awful loneliness of this situation condemns us to a life none of us want. My OH is at the moment bumbling around the Bowling Green playing a game ( quite badly) while I am so tired I cannot think straight. His latest 'thing' is to cough constantly all night long. Drs have checked everything and it seems it is just a 'habit' - drives me insane with lack of sleep.... I am in a different room, can't use ear plugs as he might need me - and so it goes on
hello @Jrwels
a warm welcome from me too
you say your mum has early onset dementia, so maybe she has a diagnosis ... if not, the suggestions already offered may help ... let your dad know that stress, delression even vitamin deficiency can present with similar symptoms and so it's worth having a check up in case any of these are 'at play' and can be treated ... her GP may choose not to discuss your mum's health but has to note any information given to them, so it's an idea to write to them with details, and keep writing with updates, so they have a full picture to help with diagnosis ... your dad could make an appointment bjt tell your mum it's for him but he'd like her to go with him for moral support
if there is a diagnosis, you may mean that your dad is reluctant to arrange an assessment of your mum's care needs by their Local Authority Adult Services .. often people don't want to bother anyone or feel they have to cope themselves 'as that's what marriage is about' ... maybe let him know your mum has a right to this assessment, as he does to a carer's assessment ... and that no-one will try to part them as it's very much the principle now to support people to stay in their own home, with home care visits (to take some of the strain of physical tasks), day care (so they each get a break, time for themselves), respite (a week away for your mum means she is well looked after and your dad catches up on his rest) and OT visits to suggest aids and adaptions that can help and may even be paid for by the LA or provided more cheaply than organising them himself ... indeed, the sooner he gets support in place, the more likely he is to be able to look after your mum at home for longer ... it's no reflection on how much he loves his wife that he is sensible enough to see no-one can care for another adult alone, we all need help at times
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/legal-financial/assessment-care-support-england
he may be worried about finances .. this may help you put his mind at rest
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/legal-financial/who-pays-care
he may fear he has to sell their home, and this is definitely not the case ... it is disregarded in any financial assessment for your mum's care as long as he lives there
maybe look into Attendance Allowance for your mum, depending on the level of her needs ... it is a benefit awarded solely on need, it is not means tested, so is well worth applying for ... or PIP if your mum is below 65 ... after all, they have paid into the system, so deserve some small benefit to help them
by the way, it will help you to support them if LPAs are in place for both of them, so help your dad look into arranging these
https://www.gov.uk/lasting-power-attorney-duties
sorry if none of this answers your post
a warm welcome from me too
you say your mum has early onset dementia, so maybe she has a diagnosis ... if not, the suggestions already offered may help ... let your dad know that stress, delression even vitamin deficiency can present with similar symptoms and so it's worth having a check up in case any of these are 'at play' and can be treated ... her GP may choose not to discuss your mum's health but has to note any information given to them, so it's an idea to write to them with details, and keep writing with updates, so they have a full picture to help with diagnosis ... your dad could make an appointment bjt tell your mum it's for him but he'd like her to go with him for moral support
if there is a diagnosis, you may mean that your dad is reluctant to arrange an assessment of your mum's care needs by their Local Authority Adult Services .. often people don't want to bother anyone or feel they have to cope themselves 'as that's what marriage is about' ... maybe let him know your mum has a right to this assessment, as he does to a carer's assessment ... and that no-one will try to part them as it's very much the principle now to support people to stay in their own home, with home care visits (to take some of the strain of physical tasks), day care (so they each get a break, time for themselves), respite (a week away for your mum means she is well looked after and your dad catches up on his rest) and OT visits to suggest aids and adaptions that can help and may even be paid for by the LA or provided more cheaply than organising them himself ... indeed, the sooner he gets support in place, the more likely he is to be able to look after your mum at home for longer ... it's no reflection on how much he loves his wife that he is sensible enough to see no-one can care for another adult alone, we all need help at times
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/legal-financial/assessment-care-support-england
he may be worried about finances .. this may help you put his mind at rest
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/legal-financial/who-pays-care
he may fear he has to sell their home, and this is definitely not the case ... it is disregarded in any financial assessment for your mum's care as long as he lives there
maybe look into Attendance Allowance for your mum, depending on the level of her needs ... it is a benefit awarded solely on need, it is not means tested, so is well worth applying for ... or PIP if your mum is below 65 ... after all, they have paid into the system, so deserve some small benefit to help them
by the way, it will help you to support them if LPAs are in place for both of them, so help your dad look into arranging these
https://www.gov.uk/lasting-power-attorney-duties
sorry if none of this answers your post
