My mum has been ill for a couple of years with anxiety and depression, confusion etc In January she deteriorated put her in a care home for respite care, came out for one night, taken to hospital with UTI, 4 weeks later went in a care home, 3 weeks later back into hospital cos not eating, drinking or taking meds. 3 weeks in hospital diagnosed with mixed dementia, discharged into a different care home has made amazing progress, drugs Trazodone and Memantine have really helped her. 6 months on and she's a different person, still terrible memory but much better spirits. She is backing doing the crossword everyday, watching TV, reading paper, taking part in activiites and I take her out of care home at least once a week. Had a couple of successful days out in London etc. She is still mobile, conversant, and likes going out, anywhere, as much as possible which is not possible in the care home. She wants to leave the care home and return to her flat. I have told her this is only possible if she has a live in carer. I am in such a dilemma. The best thing for me is if she stays in the care home, 24 hour care, everything looked after etc, and if she deteriorates she is in the right place. And then I have quality visits with her, massaging her feet, watching TV, doing the crossword together etc. But I think the best thing for her is to be back home with a carer. She can then do normal things with supervision: shopping, cooking, laundry as well as have 121 care, the food she likes, and a carer who can take her out everyday and to her activities and clubs she used to belong to. This will be a lot of hassle for me: firstly I have let out her flat never anticipating she would get better, so either got to get tenants to leave voluntarily with a pay off or rent her a different flat if they refuse to leave. Then hassle of furnishing her flat (got rid of a lot of her furniture), then hassle of recruiting carers, managing the carers, etc. And having gone through all those hoops what if she is unhappy at home with a carer? (she's always moaning about something) and misses the staff and activities in the home? and what if she then deteriorates and I have to put her back in a home? Do I let her make the most of her independence while she can (she's 77) or keep her in the care home? She is self-funding and I think the cost will be similar.