Don't know what to do

[Whiskas]

Thanks Hazel and Cate I do feel things are more under control now. It's amazing what you can do when you have to isn't it. I'd like to lie down in a dark room and have it all go away but I've tried that and it doesn't work!!!

I'll let you know how we get on.
Cathyxx

 

[Whiskas]

Today is a day I would like to lie down in a dark room!! Feeeling really bad for no other reason than because I can. If anyone has a virtual hug to spare I would be very grateful.

Taking Mum to GP this afternoon she thinks she is going about her cataracts seems to have forgotten the hospital visit about the 'piles'!!!Ooooooooooooooh!!

Hope everyone else is having a better day.

Cathyxx

 

[connie]

Cathy, hug coming up. Hope you are feeling more under control.

 

[Gill W]

Cathy,

A hug for you as requested.

Try to stay calm about the doctors visit, although I know it's easier said than done. At least you'll be on the road to getting some answers.

Take deep breaths and think positiive honey,

Thinking of you. Let us know how it goes.

Gill
XX

 

[Whiskas]

Thanks for the hug Gill it helps.

Will keep you posted.
Cathyxx

 

[Whiskas]

Sorry Connie didn't see your hug at first!! I've always wanted one of your special hugs but hoped I wouldn't ever need it if you know what I mean!! They do work though so thanks.
Cathyxx

 

[Skye]

Hi Cathy

Sorry you're feeling down today. Virtual hug from me too.

Love,

 

[Whiskas]

Thanks Hazel a lovely hug!

Feel even more in need of it now. Back from the Dr's who has more or less persuaded Mum to have the test. I had decided she wouldn't agree so I'm not sure how I feel now. I'll have to think about this and post later.
Cathyxx

 

[Margarita]

While your thinking I am sending you BIG (((((((HUGS))))))))))))

 

[Whiskas]

Thanks Margarita...........................still thinking, think I'll sleep on!!
Cathyxx

 

[Margarita]

xxxx....................

 

[Margaret W]

I would run with Grannie G, alleviate pain and distress wherever possible, there is nothing worse than pain in a way. But suss it all out as best you can.

Love

Margaret

Hi Cathy,

If your mum is 89, has dementia and possible cancer, my priority would be to keep her pain free.

I would ask her GP what action could be taken to keep her as comfortable as possible, and avoid painful examinations and surgery.

That`s just my personal opinion, and what I would want for myself.

Take care

 

[Whiskas]

Well I've done a lot of thinking,then had a phone call from Mum's GP today she was very understanding and helpful. She has arranged for me to be with Mum for the biopsy and that if Mum says stop I have to make sure that they do stop.

Then had a good talk to Mum and she did seeem to take on board what I was saying. Ok so she will forget that but during the chat we had she agreed to have the test to find out for our sakes. Also if it is cancer although she wont take conventional medicine she will take alternative therapies and whilst I'm not convinced they work if she felt they were helping then that's ok with me.

I've promised her that this will be the only test and there will be no operations or anything and she said she feels happy that I will be there all the time.

So just hope this is the right thing to be doing, I feel bettter about things so hopefully we will get through.

Thanks for your support everybody, it really does make a difference. So positive thoughts for next Thursday afternoon please and we'll be fine!!
Cathyxx

 

[Skye]

Cathy, well done. You've not only done a lot of thinking, you have done a great job of making sure everyone understands what you have decided. It must have been difficult explaining to your mum what was going to happen.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mum.

Love,

 

[Grannie G]

I feel bettter about things so hopefully we will get through.
Cathyxx

Hi Cathy,

This says it all. The fact you feel better about things shows you`ve made the correct decision for you and for your mum.

I will keep my fingers crossed on Thursday.

Love xx

 

[Margarita]

So positive thoughts for next Thursday afternoon please and we'll be fine!!

positive thoughts shall be with you on thursday & all the week up to next thursday , shall be thinking about you both xxx

 

[Whiskas]

Thanks for all your positive thoughts I'm going to need them!!! This site is wonderful, the reason we all have to be here is horrible but the good feeling we all generate is a very powerful force. Long live TP!!
Cathyxx

 

[Margaret W]

CAthy

Hi, Cathy, I am no expert. but I am tempted to say that if your mum doesn't want the treatment, don't force it. At her age, if isn't going to prolong her life a lot, and it seems sad to ask the question, but do you want to anyway? Very hard to answer, is that. Yes, some people live to 105, but if pain, suffering and distress is a major part of that, is it worth it? My beloved dad, who I thought would live forever, died at 79 of cancer, and in no pain at all, and I am so glad about that.

It is a sad balancing act in old age. Hope, despair, pain, pain relief, investigations, treatment, no treatment, no pain, gee....how hard it all is.

It is a fact that we are all going to die a some point. We don't know when that might be, but we all hope it is without pain. I don't really know what I am saying,, but Cathy, just do your best.

Oh dear, much love, and I haven't been any help. Sorry.

Margaret

 

[Whiskas]

Thanks for your reply Margaret I appreciate your concerns. No I wouldn't want anything that prolongs a painful life for Mum so she wont be having any treatment. This test is to discover if she has cancer or not and whatever the outcome that will be it, no more tests, no operations, nothing, just keeping her comfortable. There is a part of me that thinks I shouldn't even put her through this biopsy but having nursed Dad through bowel cancer I know what help we needed and how much easier it was to get because we had a diagnosis, rightly or wrongly it seemed to me to be how it works.

When Mum and I were talking about it I felt that I talking to Mum as she used to be and that she understood things. I do know that might not happen again but it has made me feel more comfortable with going ahead with the biopsy. So as you say I'm just doing my best and that's all anybody can do.

Cathyxx

 

[Whiskas]

Well the day of the hospital appointment arrived ...... I wish somebody could have told me this morning that Mum would come home from the visit SMILING and saying she had had a lovely time!!!!!! Everything went really well, the staff were really nice and she coped with the procedure without a problem. I could tell she wasn't in any pain as she was chatting happily with the nurses while several biopsies were taken. So it was definitely the right thing to do. I can ring for results in 10 days time and we'll see what happens then. Thanks for all your support everybody, it made a big difference.
Cathyxx