Don't know how much more i can take.

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by elwoodlpool, Jun 2, 2008.

  1. Hi all,

    Went to see my Mum yesterday with my Partner Leanne and our little girls, I walked to the home and was so nervous i walked in as mum now is in total nursing and as i walked in her room there she was now bed ridden looking small and helpless with her radio on. It hit me right in the face. She did give me the occasional smile and even tried to talk but i could see some changes in her the nurse told me she has put some weight on but she still looked withered to me even her hands were that of a late 60 year old. I get so mad as mum is 53 and my 3 year old girls are missing out on their grandma. I asked how long its been since my dad visited and when the nurse replied "2 Months" i was gobsmacked.

    I feel now like Mum is a lost soul and noone cares at all about her I live in Derbyshire and work and my family dont allow for me to go everyday to Liverpool to see her. I wish she could be moved to a home in Derbyshire near me so i could visit everyday. Im off to darlington this morning to promote our show and i really dont feel like it i feel totally destroyed this morning...


    Andf like i said in my post title i dont know how much more i can take of this....


    Hope everyone is ok

    Mark
     
  2. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Wish they was some l could say to make you feel better , so just want to send you my love, as l know how hartbreaking it is to see someone you deeply love go that way xx
     
  3. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Mark, is there any reason why you can't bring your mum nearer to you? It seems to me that if no-one else is visiting, it would be better for all of you if she was nearer.

    Why not make some enquiries?

    Love,
     
  4. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    7,788
    East Midlands
    Hello Mark,

    I agree with Hazel on that one..
    If your mum was nearer you perhaps could spend more quality time with her..

    And you may not feel so bad about things.

    As things are you're sressed before you visit..and saddened when you leave..

    It's understandable..and I do feel for you...and your family.

    Try to stay positive..

    Lots of love gigi xx
     
  5. andrear

    andrear Registered User

    Feb 13, 2008
    402
    Yorkshire
    HI Mark

    Welcome back.
    You care about your mum and thats what matters the most. I agree with the other comments and recommend that you make enquiries about having mum nearer to you so that you can see her more often.
    Love Andrea
     
  6. gerrie ley

    gerrie ley Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    83
    bradford yorkshire
    care

    Mark get your mother near you or you will regret it later you know it makes sense good luck its obvious you care
     
  7. Its mad you should all say about bringing my mum near to me ive started the ball rolling tonight even before i looked on here.
    Thanks all im gonna try my best to get her near me.

    Hope it wont take long to do

    Mark
     
  8. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Mark, that's brilliant!

    I hope you manage to get your mum nearer you, you'll feel so much better, being able to see her regularly, and your mum will be better for having you there too.

    Let us know how you get on.

    Love,
     
  9. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    7,788
    East Midlands
    Bravo......

    Hello Mark,

    Good for you....:)

    Keep posting and talking to us ...let us know how things are.

    I really hope you can do this for your mum..she is so lucky to have a son who cares as much as you do.

    Love gigi xx
     
  10. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Good you have made a move towards getting your Mum nearer - I hope it does not take too long.
    Best wishes Jan
     
  11. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    5,543
    Hi Mark
    I hope you can get your mum nearer to you:)
    Love Barb & Ron X
     
  12. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Well done Mark

    For posting first of all ... and for moving forward - you know it always help to have an objective .....

    We know you have to travel around to make your living - but if mum was nearer 'home base' that would make such a difference to you, I'm sure.

    Leanne sounds wonderfully supportive ...... your mum will never be a lost soul as long as you care for her as much as you obviously do ..... and you have the backing and love of your own family which you clearly have ...

    Take care, love, Karen, x
     
  13. Update

    I called Diane at there care home my mum is at and she is really positive about moving my mum too. And she has also enlightened me that my dad has been how shall we say very shady with my mums finances. The social worker is calling me tomorrow. To go through things Diane at the home was brill and i even said i would get the train to Liverpool and then make the journey to Derbyshire with my mum.The problem also me and my sister have had to put up with are all the lies my dad has told us over the phone about mums health and when ive asked people and carers they have told me she is no were near as bad.

    I just want this sorted now as i need her more in my life and seeing her grandaughters more


    Thanks all

    Mark
     
  14. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    That sounds very positive, Mark.:)

    I hope you can get your mum moved soon.

    Love,
     
  15. heartbroken

    heartbroken Registered User

    Feb 17, 2008
    747
    derbyshire
    GOOD FOR YOU
    hope the move is sonn and goes smoothly
    best wishes x
     
  16. More to it

    Hi all thanks for your comments and support, I spoke to my mums social worker today about things and, now ive been told that my Step-Dad has been spending all my mums allowance money and not been paying fee's to the home.

    These have all built up and now the social worker is saying the Council will be taking this matter up. It makes me mad that legally HE is her next of kin. I hope this move is quick i want my mum here now....Im off to Truro tonight for our gig tomorrow best to you all.




    Thanks

    Mark
     
  17. jane@hotmail

    jane@hotmail Registered User

    Mar 13, 2008
    49
    Bedfordshire
    Mark,

    I really can't imagine how you're feeling at the moment. So many emotions...The disappiontment (to say the least) in your dad. But the happiness you must feel knowing you'll get mum closer.

    Your mum is obviously a great mum, I know she's so proud of you. To care so deeply and not give up on her. You're a great guy.

    Jane x
     
  18. hendy

    hendy Registered User

    Feb 20, 2008
    506
    West Yorkshire
    Dear Mark
    It sounds as though now you've made the decision to get mum closer to you, that this will be much better for your mum. The disappointment you must be feeling about step dad, well I think you'll be able to keep a closer eye on her now.
    take care
    hendy
     
  19. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    3,725
    North Derbyshire
    Hi Mark

    Whereabouts in Derbyshire are you thinking of? Just that I am Derbyshire born, Derbyshire bred, might be able to help. I am North Derbyshire. PM me if you like. My mum is in a care home in Buxton, might suit your mum.

    I think you have to get her nearer to you as you seem to be her main carer.

    Good luck

    Love

    Margaret
     

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