DoLs

[Michaelap2002]

So my mum was put into a care home after carer breakdown. My brother was unable to cope and I have not been able to manage my mum alone. The social worker decided she would be best in a care home. A bed came up in a lovely home however the residents in the dementia unit are a bit further on their dementia journey than mum. Mum is 58 and this place us for younger people with dementia. I am awaiting for mums respite to become permanent however the social worker is off sick and trying to find out what is happening is near impossible. A Dols meeting has took place where I was present. I stayed quiet so mum could answer. Mum has said on a few occasions she wants to go home but also said she likes the care home. (There is one resident who is quite aggressive and shouts get out of my house which is when mum Says she wants to go home but has apparently said on other occasions. I wasn't aware of this.)
I was a bit upset as the dols assessor said this would be temporary, and she feels mum needs an independent advocate for her. She agreed mum had limited capacity, but upon reflection, I'm thinking why wasn't I appointed RPR. Do they not trust me with the decisions? Has anybody else had this? The social worker talks about it may having to go to court.
But mum Is looked after, I take her out once a week and can spend quality time with her.

 

[Kevinl]

No secret I'v.been under a dols too, I had a viral brain infection, encephalitis, better now, never give up hope K

 

[Marleena]

Hello Michaelap2002
DoLS - aargh! I wasn't appointed PPR for my OH because the DoLS assessor along with the views of the care manager at the home thought I was "too involved" and needed an independent person to speak for my OH. Although I felt a little miffed at this, it turned out to be the right thing as there needs to be regular meetings/paperwork required and I couldn't cope with it all. However, what I never understood was how this PPR ascertained my OHs views and wishes (enabling to speak on his behalf) when my OH speaks only gibberish! In approx. twelve months I have only seen this PPR once to speak to for about thirty minutes on only one issue. How on earth does he know my OH and his views? When I asked this of the BIA at the next review. she said "They're highly trained and can just observe him", So, they obviously have supernatural powers! Seems farcical to me. Even the BIA (who DID have a fairly long chat with me) put comments in the report which were either totally wrong, partly wrong or very much open to question. I immediately rang her before the report went out to complain about this and she did put in some other conditions to be met that I had concerns about. Why don't they discuss the report with you before it goes out? - because once that report is done, it is a legal document and set in stone until the next one. Of course this is only my view. Everything seems to be such a battle.

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

I'm thinking why wasn't I appointed RPR. Do they not trust me with the decisions? Has anybody else had this? The social worker talks about it may having to go to court.

Yes - it happened to me. The reason you can't be her RPR is because you believe she is best staying where she is. The social worker hears your mum saying 'I want to go home' so you both want different things. An advocate will be appointed to represent her wish to go home, (no matter how impractical or unsafe that would be) if she continues to ask for that. She may not. The shouty person may get moved and your mum would say she's happy there. Or things will move on and the SW will decide your mum no longer has enough capacity to understand her own care needs and will thereafter ignore any requests to go home.

I should point out, it's incredibly common for people with dementia to want to 'go home' often when they're actually in their own home. And sometimes the home they mean is a childhood home and that's where they want to go back to, as though everything will be OK if they can only get back there. It is very sad and also complicated - it isn't always the person saying 'I don't want to live in this care home'.

It's unlikely to get as far as court because time will pass and things will move on - sadly your mum isn't going to get better.

But please don't think not being RPR is because the SW doesn't trust you! They will be happy to appoint you once your mother loses capacity or when it is decided where she will live.

 

[canary]

I agree entirely with @Jaded'n'faded

When mum first moved into her care home she spent the first 6 weeks "packing to go home". A DoLS was applied for and I wasnt made her RPR. She was never moved, though, and the following year I became her RPR

 

[northumbrian_k]

My wife used to talk about 'going home' but the DoLS assessors soon spotted that she was talking about her past (childhood) home. I have been RPR since her first DoLS authorisation and there has never been an issue. I am not clear that the RPR must at all times side with the person's expressed wishes. My wife's DoLS authorisations have been granted on the basis that she cannot process complex information or make a reasoned decision about where she should live. Hence, if she tells me that she wants to go home that doesn't cut across my role as RPR.

Edited to add that in practice there are no decisions beyond agreeing to renewal of authorisations that have needed me to act as RPR. Everyday practical matters are managed between the care home and myself as Attorney and next of kin.

 

[Michaelap2002]

Thankyou all so much. I have only just seen these replies but feel so.much better now.

 

[dq79]

My wife used to talk about 'going home' but the DoLS assessors soon spotted that she was talking about her past (childhood) home. I have been RPR since her first DoLS authorisation and there has never been an issue. I am not clear that the RPR must at all times side with the person's expressed wishes. My wife's DoLS authorisations have been granted on the basis that she cannot process complex information or make a reasoned decision about where she should live. Hence, if she tells me that she wants to go home that doesn't cut across my role as RPR.

Edited to add that in practice there are no decisions beyond agreeing to renewal of authorisations that have needed me to act as RPR. Everyday practical matters are managed between the care home and myself as Attorney and next of kin.

Hi, in case is of interest or helpful to the OP I recently posted a link in another thread regarding the role of RPR, setting out the role.

What is a Relevant Person’s Representative (RPR)?

A Relevant Person’s Representative (RPR) is a necessary and essential role under the Deprivation of Liberty Safeguards (DoLS).

mental-capacity.co.uk

 

[Michaelap2002]

Brilliant thanks so mucb