Doctors visits

Barnsey

Registered User
Jul 2, 2013
25
Cheshire
Hi, i'ts the first time i've been on and no idea where to start! Wondered if anyone has had the prob off how to deal with refusal to go to the doctors. Due to not realising anything wrong.
 

sah

Registered User
Apr 20, 2009
332
Dorset
Hi:
Possibly depends upon the GP? I'm very lucky - my GP would come out to see my husband if he refused to go-and we have his six monthly checks done at home. But I am aware that I have a great GP-not all may do so?
Good luck!
 

Barnsey

Registered User
Jul 2, 2013
25
Cheshire
Sounds silly but never thought of that. Hard thing is when we go my mother in law doesnt remember what the prob is so when i explain she argues that there is nothing wrong.Suppose there will be many things that my hubby and i will learn along the way!
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,291
SW London
Sounds silly but never thought of that. Hard thing is when we go my mother in law doesnt remember what the prob is so when i explain she argues that there is nothing wrong.Suppose there will be many things that my hubby and i will learn along the way!
Hello Barnsey. What some people do is write to the doctor beforehand, listing everything that is worrying you (no sense glossing over any of it) and explaining that the person doesn't realize (or simply can't remember) that there's anything wrong with them.

Because of patient confidentiality the doctor will not usually discuss a patient with relatives, but there is nothing to stop you writing to inform them of your concerns. Writing in advance will save you having to say things (in front of her) that would upset your MIL.

If someone is very reluctant to go to the doctor at all (pretty common with dementia) relatives sometimes ask the doctor to call them in, saying it's e.g. 'just a general check up for anyone over 75 (or whatever'. Not that this will work for everybody, but it's worth a try.
 
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Barnsey

Registered User
Jul 2, 2013
25
Cheshire
The docs are pretty good, luckily. But that is a fab idea as it is such an upset if we have to discuss anything in front of her. Only downside with the doc is that he doesn't bear in mind that she is unaware and so does ask direct questions, so will def give it a go!
 

FifiMo

Registered User
Feb 10, 2010
4,710
Wiltshire
If your MIL isn't going to go to her GP voluntarily, then another approach you can take is to put together a body of evidence that you can give to the GP to help with diagnosis. Get a diary and record on a daily basis all the areas where she is struggling. Make a note of the time of day that they happen, together with details of any underlying explanations eg was she over tired. You can also use your mobile phone to take pictures or video even. You can then pass along your evidence to the GP or, say, a consultant, when gets referred. The diary is also useful for looking back over time and making note of any deterioration and how quickly it is happening.

Hope this helps,

Fiona
 

Rosie Webros

Registered User
May 8, 2013
181
Yes Barnsey, we did what someone has already advised. My dad wouldn't go to the doctors so I went to see the doctor who was very good and said she would come and see dad and say that it is a routine check up for the over 70's. It worked a treat.

Hope you get something sorted.

Take care, Rosie xx
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,291
SW London
The docs are pretty good, luckily. But that is a fab idea as it is such an upset if we have to discuss anything in front of her. Only downside with the doc is that he doesn't bear in mind that she is unaware and so does ask direct questions, so will def give it a go!
Someone on here said they arranged while at the doctor's to sit just very slightly behind their relative, so that when (e.g.) the doctor asked whether they were still able to do their own cooking or whatever, and the relative said, 'Oh, yes of course, what a question !' - they could mouth 'NO WAY!'
(You get the picture...)
 

Barnsey

Registered User
Jul 2, 2013
25
Cheshire
Thanks for all the ideas, may even try a mix of all. I'm sure gp would do a home visit but may take a letter in first. Relieved to have replies, have never spoken to people in the same position as us. I'm sure will learn a lot in the future.:)
 

zelana

Registered User
Feb 11, 2013
127
N E Lincs
I had similar problems with my Mum. I'd been trying to persuade her she ought to make an appointment to see her GP but she insisted that if he wanted to see her he would get in touch. She used to see him regularly because of high blood pressure but a combination of her undiagnosed dementia & his absence due to illness led to her failing to make an appointment and also forgetting to re-order prescriptions. I suppose in her mind someone from the surgery should have contacted her to make an appointment once he was back at work but they didn't.

I ended up phoning him and telling him that I felt he needed to see her and explained why. Thankfully he listened to my concerns & agreed to ring her and say he wanted her to make an appointment to see him which she did. While she was with him he got her permission to talk to me so he was able to discuss Mum with me.
 

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